NEW - This is Amazing!

[Andee]

One of the moms on my triplet list mentioned this site today and since it was new to me I decided to visit. AMAZING!
How have I missed this one!?
Where have I been?

Oh, I know, I was busy getting divorced from a too-long abusive mate; getting seriously injured in the process and now being 100% disabled from it; two years of court battles; figuring out how to really be a single parent ... not just any single parent, but one to a vanload of kids - six - ALL with a huge assortment of special needs! (what's listed below is only what's relative to now); and figuring out HOW to go from MOM the keeper/doer of all good, necessary, essential (& sometimes evil) stuff so each kid could be their best TO BEING one of those needing exactly what I was doing/giving for/to them! Very tricky transition. :smile:

I'm still busy - and will be more so as I devour everything here - but I'm also hoping to get a fresh perspective on some stuff we deal with now that my sis & niece live with us. All my kids were challenging in many ways, but they all are smarter than average and adapted well in compensating for their various deficits. My sister defies logic; and I know now why my mom couldn't keep having sis living with her... it was driving her nuts. I can't sort out what's a true deficit and what's a learned behavior and then when you add in her little girl's issues - it's driving me... and all my kids (the ones that live at home & the ones that don't) insane somedays!

Anyway, for now, I'm just saying Hi and Thanking whoever started this site for doing so. For years I was a regular on OUR-KIDS and have made use of all their resources, but never saw this one. Sometimes I feel like I'm coming out of a time-warp of some kind.

 

[DDD]

Welcome aboard. Have to admit I am exhausted just reading the
list of family members...lol. This is a terrific site and I am
delighted for you, and for us, that you are joining the CD family
DDD

 

[everywoman]

Welcome Andee--
It sure looks like you have your hands full. One fifteen year old (3X) almost killed me---three at 1X and I would have surely not made it. Wow! And on top of that a difficult child sis! What are her issues?
I look forward to getting to know you and yours.

 

[KateM]

Welcome, Andee!

Well, you sure have alot on your plate! You've come to a great place for support,info,venting, etc. Glad you finally found us.Feel free to post your questions, suggestions and experiences.
We're a group of parents with a wide variety of experiences in challenging kids.Hope we can help you and looking forward to your contributions to our little corner of cyber-world. Welcome again!

 

[BusynMember]

Welcome! I'm wondering if you've ever seen a neuropsychologist. Your kids all have neurological deficits and apraxia and I'm wondering if any were evaluated with intensive testing for high functioning autism, which would explain their behaviors and any quirkiness in your family. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is very hereditary. If you have one Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kid, and I'd really REALLY be looking at that kid with "global apraxia", then your other kids have a 1 in 20 chance of also being on the spectrum. Spectrum kids are different, quirky, and do not respond to traditional parenting techniques that many therapists recommend nor do medications take care of the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). The kids need special accomodations and help. I'm going to post an online test for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/autism. You can take it for all of your kids, if you like. My son is on the Spectrum, but was diagnosed first with ADHD/ODD then bipolar. They were wrong dxs. He's doing great now, but he's had a lot of help and not the "talk to a therapist" type or medications type (although some Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids do need medications for aggression and frustrated anger). I think medications help 50% of the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids. All need special Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) interventions that psychiatrists and regular therapists and school districts tend to up. Heres' the site for the test.
http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html

 

[BusynMember]

One last thing: Substance abuse is very high in Aspergers Syndrome. The kids feel like geeks and misfits and are ostracized and this is one way they can try to fit in (albeit a negative way). Kids on the Spectrum have horrible social skills, very clueless, and tend to have low life skills, even though they can be in the genius range in IQ. They also tend to have narrow, focused inerests--computers and videogames are common, and way above the norm. They tend not to be able to relate to peers, sometimes do best with younger kids who are more accepting of strangeness or adults who find them precocious and intelligent. But they monologue rather than conversing back and forth. The globally speech delayed kids could have Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, a different form of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Heck, I can't get this post out of my mind. I'd get the kids to a neuropsychologist. I wouldn't trust any other sort of professional for all these neurological quirks. Most professionals just dont do the right testing, and many are clueless themselves about higher functioning Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Maybe your sister has it at a time when it was not heard of (Aspergers and Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified are only recognized within the past ten years). Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), unrecognized, would make a parent pull out her hair, trying to figure out "the strange, rigid, impossible, defiant" child. And the undiagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) child can get so frustrated the outbursts can get very severe. My son was very rageful until he got the right help--now he's very peaceful. I would sure give Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) a look. Good luck.

 

[givnmegryhr]

Welcome Andie. I'm so sorry that you have been through all you have. I hope you will tell more of your story soon. I don't know how you are managing it all. I have 4 kids with problems of their own and I can't handle it all the time. I hope you find the site helpful, I know it helps me. Vent when needed. The people here are wonderful.

 

[Josie]

Welcome. You do have a lot on your plate.

I notice you have one possible celiac child. How much have you done with the gluten free diet?

My younger daughter is a possible celiac also. All of her testing was negative but her stomach issues went away when she went on the diet. Her adhd problems went away for the most part after she went on the diet, too.

My other daughter did not have signs of celiac disease but is now gluten free. She was diagnosed with ODD and depression and that went away when she went gluten and casein free.

I did not have symptoms of celiac disease but was on an a/d for depression. I also felt I had an auditory processing disorder and ADD. I don't have any of that after going on the diet. I've been off my a/d since starting the diet.

We are extremely strict with the diet since the tiniest trace of gluten causes me to feel irritable and depressed for more than 2 weeks after eating it. My kids also react to trace amounts.

I'm on another board for celiac disease and I have read about people who used to have seizures and motor problems that resolved or improved when they went on the diet. There was a recent article recently in the magazine "Living Without" about this. It is called gluten ataxia.

I know that you are not here for advice about celiac disease but that jumped out at me and since so many of the problems that brought me to this site have gone away since starting that diet, I wanted to mention it to you.

 

[hearts and roses]

Hi Andee. It IS awesome here at CD. You sound like a strong woman who's been through a lot. I look forward to hearing more about you and yours!

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Hi Andee,

Just adding my welcome to the list. Sounds like you have been through and are living through a heck of a time. I'm glad you have found us here. I hope we can be a place of comfort and support.

Sharon

 

[totoro]

Hi- adding my welcome... this is a wonderful place. Regardless of your situation or circumstances. We all understand in some way or at least can lend and ear and a shoulder.
This place has brought sanity to many of us and given us a reason to keep fighting for our g'sfg and the rest of them out there!!!

Glad you found us.

 

[Sheila]

Wanted to add my hello and welcome. :smile:

 

[timer lady]

Hi & welcome Andee :flower:

 

[jodyice]

Hi Andee and welcome. Sorry you had to find us, glad you did. Sounds like you have more than enough on your plate, I hope you can find some help here at CD, it's a great place for support and info.

 

[Wiped Out]

Welcome Andee! Glad you're here! :smile:

 

[Marguerite]

Welcome, Andee. MWM said a lot of what I was going to say about doing the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire and seeing where/if any of your family fit. It's an interesting exercise and one which can lead to a better understanding of where each child is coming from. I've run the test on my own kids. Interestingly, easy child 2/difficult child 2 recently ran the test on herself and after I went through it with her, discussing her answers, it looks like she's scoring 'mild Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)' for sure. We still have to persuade the pediatrician.

Other advice you may have gleaned from reading other threads - lay your hands on a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Especially considering your numbers, it could make a big difference in how you handle the kids. Get your sis to read it too.

I also come from a big family. I only have four kids of my own but I'm one of 8, which included two sets of twins. There is a 17 year spread. There are 24 in the next generation. Many of them are now having their own kids and we have a fair number of difficult children through the generations. Plus, I too have neurological problems which can make parenting just tat bit more tricky. But looking at it another way, at least I am now on site for my kids if/when they need me. It's amazing how well you can kick rear ends when you've got the time to hang on the phone and wait for people to get back to you. And to diarise, write letters, keep hounding people, etc. I'd never have the time or the energy if I was also trying to hold down a job.

Welcome aboard!

Marg

 

[Janna]

Good morning, Andee -

Adding my welcome too (late as usual, I apologize) :flower:

Janna