New to Boards...Need some advice

[rren1972]

my stepson will be 8 in July. He has been diagnosed ADHD for almost a year now and currently being tested for possible bipolar (his bio mom is bipolar) hes a great kid, very sweet and sensitive but there are times when i dont know what to do..far too many lately. ive noticed changes over the past year to year and a half.
we have major issues with lying and stealing and is adamant in believing he is telling the truth. we have major rage tantrums where we yell, scream, destroy our room, throw/break things and this can go on for well over an hour all becuase he was told he could not have or do something.
we lie and steal not only from home, but school and daycare as well. doesnt matter what the object is if he wants it he will take it.
done counseling. diagnosed ADHD with neurologist after the school evaluation determined he had nothing wrong with him becuase he averaged where he should or above on the testing but yet couldnt sit still in school and couldnt focus. didnt like the answer and went to his pediatrician..was on medate for 7 months. started once in the morning and by december he was doing 20 mg in the am and another 20 at lunch time and then becuase of the mood swings he added depakote. depakote made him way aggressive to the point that he bullied another child at school (so not like my him at all) aggressive and argumentative at home
changed medications in april to adderall XR in the Am and fluoxetine at nite. did really well for the first week or so. attitude is still really good (for the most part) but the lying and stealing are almost daily now. no punishment makes a difference.
looking for anyone with any advice on different things to try. im at my wits end on what now to do.

thanks
erin

 

[DaisyFace]

Hello Erin--

Welcome to the board!

The first question I wonder is who did the testing and whether your son actually received a full neuro-psychiatric evaluation. If not, then whomever is prescribing the medications is, in my opinion, just guessing at what will work for your child.

The lying and stealing might be explained by a diagnosis of an underlying condition (something more than just ADD), but until you know what you are dealing with, it is difficult to know the correct thing to do.

In the meantime, check out a book called "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Many parents here swear by it. I know that I found it very eye-opening when I first read it. Give it a try....

--DaisyF

 

[BusynMember]

Hi, Erin. Welcome!

Was he in any way abused in his mother's home?

 

[timer lady]

Popping in to offer you my welcome, Erin. I hope we can help you find some answers.

 

[rren1972]

not that we know of. His father has had custody of him since he was a little over a year. His bio mom has never been stable and has been in unhealthy situations but to the best of our knowledge no we dont think so.

he sees his bio mom once a month and talks to her on the phone 3X a week (all court ordered) she lives 2.5 hours away. She used to have overnite visits with him every other weekend and vacations but the first vacation she had him she called to say she was bringing him home after 2 days because he was being defiant...go figure..
he would always come home hungry and dirty...it was so disgusting
he likes that she can come and take him out (supervised by me) for a few hours but has made it clear that he does not want to go for sleepovers. he also says that if she lived in the same state as us he might go but he doesnt want to be away from us that far. He is very much a home body.

thanks for the welcome!

 

[TerryJ2]

Hi Erin, nice to meet you.

I would definitely keep an eye on him and not overdo it with-the medications, or you may miss an underlying problem. Great that the Adderall and fluoxetine are working. I thought that fluoxetine wasn't supposed to be used for bipolar, so you may be looking at something else.
Most kids lie because they don't want to face being disciplined. That hardest thing to do is get them to tell the truth, and then not punish them, but it can be done. Just start a program of calmly having him tell you the truth, thanking him, and then offering no repercussions, except a calm, "You know that was wrong."
What is it he is stealing? Video games? Candy? It's pretty easy to get to the root of that sort of stuff, unless it's random items that don't associate with-anything.

 

[rren1972]

he is stealing random things that have no meaning or value but is also stealing money, soda, candy too
we have done everything and anything but nothing changes. the problem is he doesnt believe he has stolen anything there fore he wont admit up to it.
not a definite diagnosis of bipolar as of right now. neurologist is leaning that way but we are also doing the psychiatric evaluation too to see whats going on. it could very well be just ICD (kleptomania) as well or a combo of all three

 

[BusynMember]

A neurologist should not be diagnosing this sort of problem.
A neuropsychologist is way different! I would never let a neurologist handle this.

 

[Lothlorien]

rren, you need to have a neurophsych. evaluation. A neurologist will not deal with psychiatric disorders, even if the are closely related....been there done that.

Do the ADHD medications make his symptoms seem more intense? This occured with my daughter when they tried her on Concerta. ADHD is commonly misdiagnosed first. If you feel it's needed, push them to further diagnose.

 

[smallworld]

Just wanted to add that a neuropsychologist is generally a PhD psychologist who has extra training in the brain-behavior connection. A neuropsychologist will administer testing that typically runs from 6 to 10 hours and will give you excellent information on the cognitive and psychological functioning of your difficult child. Neurospychologists can be found at children's and university teaching hospitals.

Is your difficult child's behavior better, worse or about the same on Adderall XR?
Is he still doing OK on Fluoxetine?

You should be aware that if there is an underyling bipolar disorder, kids who take stimulants like Adderall and SSRI antidepressants like Fluoxetine can suddenly become much worse, with increased anger, aggression, violence and suicidal/homicidal ideation. Reactions to SSRIs typically occur at the 3-week or 3-month mark so you should be ever watchful in the event this occurs.