New to forum have a child with ODD

[faithangel]

hi all i am new to this forum i have an 11 yr old son who has ODD and we are having a very difficult time dealing with it. lastnight with the straw that broke the camels back sort of speek. we where in walmart and my son wanted a toy i had told him not this time but maybe next time. he started pouting and getting an attitude so i ask my husband if sean could ride home with him. at this point my husband tries to direct him to the doors and out to the car. seans decide to pitch a fit and make a seen all the way out to the car. some one at the store called the police and my husband was almost arrested and will now have to go to court on child abuse charges for escorting his son out to the car. sean also told the police his dad punched him. now i love my son and on most occasions i would take his word for it but i KNOW his dad wouldnt punch him. i dont know what to do other than put him in a school for troubled preteens and i cant afford the 45000 it would cost to do so. help

 

[BusynMember]

Hi there and welcome. I have a few questions. First of all, who diagnosed him? ODD doesn't usually stand by itself as a diagnosis. Also, is he on any medication, has he ever seen a Child Psychiatrist (with the MD) or a NeuroPsycologist (not a neurologist or a plain psycologist). Also, are there any psychiatric or neurological disorders one either side of his family tree? Any possibly undiagnosed relatives? Did he have any speech delays, social problems/cluelessness? It would help us, if you listed a signature below like I did. It's slow sometimes on the weekends. I'm always online because I'm a writer and I live on my computer...lol. Others will stop by to greet you and ask questions.

 

[faithangel]

Sean has been going to counselling for the last couple of years. his Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) diagnosed him with ODD and we are presently doing a Psycological evaluation on him at the moment. he has been in and out of trouble at school and is constantly bringing home whiteslips from school. no one in the family has been diagnosed with any mental illness but i believe my mother in law has the same issues and more. he did have some speech impairment in the early elementry grades with the letter R. he does have trouble with the kids at school teasing him alot. i am not sure what else at the moment my brain is kind a fried after last nights fiasco.

 

[oceans]

Sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Have you tried to get an evaluation done to find out what is wrong? Has he tried any medications yet? Does he have an IEP at school? It sounds like you need some supports in place. You can try NAMI and see if there are any support groups in your area that you can attend. Sometimes there are state programs with sliding scales. Have you checked to see what services your state provides?

I am editing this...

I would get an evaluation from a psychiatrist or a teaching hospital and not a social worker/therapist.

 

[Nancy]

Hi Debbie,

My daughter has ODD. Whether your son has ODD alone or something else with it, the behavior still has to be dealt with. I have found with my daughter that we had to make her responsible for her behavior, that is we didn't let he off because she had ODD. That meant calling the police on her and taking away priviliges until she got the message.

The problem is, if the behavior is not addressed now it can lead to conduct disorder, that is when ODD behavior goes into the community and becomes a legal problem. Drug/alcohol use is also a danger if the behavior isn't modified.

It's good that you are having him evaluated. Hopefully you can come up with some answers and find some help for him, whether it be medications or counseling or behavior mods, or tough love.

Nancy

 

[busywend]

Welcome! While reading your post I thought perhaps your child could have some sort of learning disability. Has he ever been evaluated at the school? We have seen many kids that have a Learning Disability (LD) act out with ODD behaviors.

ODD usually does not stand alone, it typically is a description of the behavior seen with other disorders such as ADHD, Bipolar, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), etc.

 

[faithangel]

we are at the moment in the middle of a psychiatric evaluation to see if there are any other disorders involved. we haven't gotten the results back as of yet and i have a form i need to turn in on monday. so yes we are checking to see if he is bipolar or ADHD.
thank you

 

[totoro]

Who is doing the psychiatric evaluation??? Just curious. What types of things did they or have they done during your diagnosis?
I ask this because the best evaluation we have had was a Nuero-psychiatric evaluation, this took around 10hours of intense interviews of our child and us. We also filled out numerous questioneers on behaviors, I think 4 or 5. From reading other peoples thoughts here I think most people have had really good luck with the Nuero-psychiatric evaluations. After that we had to seek out a Psychiatrist MD, for another evaluation. After that we had a pretty good diagnosis...prior to this we had also had social worker diagnosis but they aren't always so accurate or thorough.

People here are asking all of these questions to help you figure out what steps to take with helping your child


Good luck hang in there.

 

[Alisonlg]

Welcome to the board! I also have a son with ODD (currently 8 years old), and at the moment that diagnosis stands alone, though we, as parents, suspect there's more going on, but the Dr's and Social Workers involved in his care are very reluctant to look any deeper. I'm glad you're currently seeking a full evaluation and hopefully you've got someone good who's taking in the whole picture that is your son and will give a thorough diagnosis.

I'm so sorry for the recent events that have transpired! I can not believe that someone called the police, but then again, for those who have never parented a difficult child, they just don't "get it," do they? Hopefully the whole court fiasco is behind you all very soon and you can move on.

::::big hugs::::

 

[BusynMember]

Thanks for the additional information. Frankly, I wouldn't trust a counselor, social worker or even a psycologist (and especially not the school) to diagnose a psychiatric or neurological problem--they don't have any medical training and, in my long experience (I have bipolar and my son is on the autism spectrum) they don't tend to nail the disorders. They just don't have enough training to "get" what the child has. It is rare for a Psychiatrist or a neuropsychologist (who can do up to 12 hours of testing) to diagnose ODD. That's more of a therapists diagnosis. from my experience. The School Districts have an agenda--in my opinion, I don't think they are objective or even very good at diagnosing. My son had wrong diagnosis. of ADHD/ODD and bipolar. in my opinion again, I feel it's best to go to the top and see a Child Psychiatrist first for diagnosing. He has the training and the medical degree to diagnose--people without MD's aren't supposed to diagnose at all, however NeuroPsychs tend to run intensive tests on the kids, and often do a better job of diagnosing than Psychiatrists. You run the risk of wasting years of therapy, when that alone won't help your child. If therapy is all he needs, then you can be referred to a therapist by the Psychiatrist or neuropsychologist. We've seen both. ODD very rarely stands by itself. If there is another co-morbid diagnosis, that diagnosis has to be addressed before the child can calm himself--often the child needs medication. My son doesn't. It all depends on the disorder and the degree of disruption to the quality of his life. I'm going to post a few links. Maybe take a look and see what you think. As for CPS, just be honest and don't get defensive. I was a foster mom, and it's best just to be pleasant, calm, and do what they say. They may just decide it's nothing and leave.

 

[timer lady]

Hi & welcome.

Really have nothing further to offer other than to find time for yourself whenever possible.

If you don't take care of yourself, you cannot do for your children.

 

[TerryJ2]

So sorry, Debbie. You've definitely got a lot of good company and friends here!
with-your background and paperwork history in school, you shouldn't have any problem in court. Still, it's a hassle and you're stuck going through it because a bystander didn't understand the issues. Again, so sorry.
Keep the faith.

 

[Wiped Out]

Nothing new to add but wanted to add my welcome. You will find great support here.

 

[faithangel]

thanks to all of you i appreciate your support and the information you have passed along. i just found out the the person doing my sons evaluation is not an MD. so i need to look further into that. i live in southern utah and it is slim pickins for help when you are on Medicaid.

 

[lordhelpme]

i just wanted to welcome you also.

 

[wakeupcall]

faithangel, I can see my difficult child acting the same way at any given time...it just hasn't happened like that yet. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this....what a pain!

faithangel, my difficult child is the KING OF ODD. Yep, he wears the crown. We just returned from the therapist whom he sees every Monday. He has finally started showing his true colors and the doctor says that difficult child feels entitled to act and speak in any way he sees fit. NOT! He said that we need to take everything away from him and he must earn it back by proper behavior. If we don't do it, then someone else will eventually and it may not be in our home, but in another institution of some sort. He said that's where he's headed (and he's only eleven!). So, as soon as husband gets home and I explain it to him (husband HAS to help me do this!), then I'm going to empty difficult child's room of video games, tv, airsoft guns, MP3 player, etc. and make it very clear how he will earn things back.

Pray for us.......and I will pray for you.