AllStressedOut
New Member
I'm new to the group tonight, so hopefully I'm doing this right. I'm at my wits end and I need some advice or even just some understanding. My family is a his, mine and ours combo, 6 kids total. We are going through termination/adoption process now and its taking a toll on our difficult child's. They are diagnosed ADD, ADHD, ODD, Reactive Hypoglycemic and SAD depending on which I'm referring to. They see a pyschiatrist monthly for medications, Zoloft, Straterra, Foclin and sleep aid, again, depending on which one I'm referring to. One is on such a strict diet it seems like he should be in Auschwitz. I hate it, but it does help his behavior significantly. They're bio-mom is diagnosed bi-polor, impulse control discorder and partial mania.
The last 6 weeks they have really taken turns for the worse. One was chasing a classmate around with scissors and throwing tantrums on the floor at school. Another was yelling at his teacher and leaving the classroom. Now we're having a problem with all of them stealing from the easy child in the house. I'm rolling my eyes at the sarcasm in the easy child and difficult child references because all of my kids drive me nuts on different days in different ways. The easy child's just don't have any diagnosed problems, they up without a good excuse.
husband is so exhausted he broke down in tears tonight. He blames himself, I blame myself. I think I'm the evil step mom and they just don't like living with me. He thinks he hasn't taught them correctly from the beginning. We feel like we can't let them out of our sight. We went the strict route, grounding them from everything under the sun. Sending them to their rooms for the day. Nothing works. They just got in trouble last week for stealing and we caught them again tonight under almost the exact same circumstances.
What do we do? What works? I can't ground them anymore, I'm grounding myself to a summer with 6 kids and 4 walls. We can't possibly spend the rest of the summer at home because they can't behave. Taking away toys doesn't work, doing chores doesn't work, talking to them and rationalizing doesn't work. HELP! Someone out there has to have some advice or support. When we come down hard, everyone is punished because we're all grounded to the house. If we let up, we feel like they're getting away with everything. Chores don't bother them, losing toys doesn't bother them, their father crying doesn't bother them, us yelling doesn't bother them, us talking calmly doesn't sink in....now what?
The last 6 weeks they have really taken turns for the worse. One was chasing a classmate around with scissors and throwing tantrums on the floor at school. Another was yelling at his teacher and leaving the classroom. Now we're having a problem with all of them stealing from the easy child in the house. I'm rolling my eyes at the sarcasm in the easy child and difficult child references because all of my kids drive me nuts on different days in different ways. The easy child's just don't have any diagnosed problems, they up without a good excuse.
husband is so exhausted he broke down in tears tonight. He blames himself, I blame myself. I think I'm the evil step mom and they just don't like living with me. He thinks he hasn't taught them correctly from the beginning. We feel like we can't let them out of our sight. We went the strict route, grounding them from everything under the sun. Sending them to their rooms for the day. Nothing works. They just got in trouble last week for stealing and we caught them again tonight under almost the exact same circumstances.
What do we do? What works? I can't ground them anymore, I'm grounding myself to a summer with 6 kids and 4 walls. We can't possibly spend the rest of the summer at home because they can't behave. Taking away toys doesn't work, doing chores doesn't work, talking to them and rationalizing doesn't work. HELP! Someone out there has to have some advice or support. When we come down hard, everyone is punished because we're all grounded to the house. If we let up, we feel like they're getting away with everything. Chores don't bother them, losing toys doesn't bother them, their father crying doesn't bother them, us yelling doesn't bother them, us talking calmly doesn't sink in....now what?