New to the Board

[Ramona]

Hello. My name is Emily and I am just found this board. I have a 3 and 1/2 year old daughter named Iris.

Iris is sweet, smart, funny, and kind. Iris is also oppositional, angry, violent, and generaly diffuclt to deal with.

I am a naturally minded gentle parent but I have become increasingly frustrated over the past year or so with her behavior. I am at the end of my rope emotionally, but mor eimpirtantly I need guidance because I feel like I am failing her by not undersatnding or appropriatly dealing with her issues.

Thanks for reading I look forward to learning and sharing with you all.

 

[BusynMember]

Has she ever been evaluated? I doubt this is just bad parenting on your part. Sounds like something is going on with her beyond just misbehaving.

 

[AmyW]

Welcome Emily. I'm new myself.

Sorry to hear you're having difficulties with Iris; I can relate, believe me. My son is 4 and has outbursts like you wouldn't believe. I hope you find some answers, support, and compassion here. Big hugs to you.

 

[tiredmommy]

Hi Ramona and welcome. The first thing I'd do is set an appointment with Iris' pediatrician to rule out any underlying physical causes. Sleep problems, ear aches and allergies can all lead to behavior problems. Once all this has been ruled out, you may wish to set up an appointment with a developmental pediatrician.

You also may wish to contact your local school district via certified mail requesting an evaluation if you expect she will have educational difficulties.

You may also want to pick up a copy of The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It's helped many us set priorities with our kids so that we can move away from near constant fighting and get back to parenting. There's a thread about adapting it to younger kids at the top of this forum.

 

[SRL]

Hi Ramona and welcome.

I agree that a trip to the pediatrician is in order. Even the anger issues have been going on for some time it's important to keep your pediatrician in the loop. Children who are raised in a stable home with fairly consistent parenting shouldn't be displaying much in the way of violent outbursts at this age. Sure we'd expect to see temper tantrums when they're tired, sick, and some when they don't get their way, but if it's a constant, ongoing way of life you probably want to dig a little deeper.

Has she always been difficult? Beyond the behavioral difficulties, are you seeing anything else unusual in the developmental sense? Any delays or conversely, any areas in which she's way advanced over her peers?
Is she developing interests that are typical for her age group?
Anything unusual in terms of her responses to sounds, lights, foods, clothing textures?

Do pick up a copy of The Explosive Child (there's a link at the right to order) and check out the thread at the top of this board.

 

[Hound dog]

Hi Ramona and welcome to the board.

I agree a full evaluation with her pediatrician doctor is in order. Always best to rule out any physical causes to her behavior first. If nothing is found there, I highly recommend an evaluation by a pediatric neuropsychologist. They are able to diagnosis everything from learning disabilities to neuro and mental disorders.

At the tender age of 3 there are many possibilities as to what is causing her behavior.

You also might want to pick up the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Many many parents here have found it very helpful.

Hugs