New to the group

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by wen1033, Apr 17, 2009.

  1. wen1033

    wen1033 New Member

    I am a single parent to an 8 year old with ADHD and ODD. It took us a long time to fiure out the ODD part but it sure fits. y son was doing wonderful in a special theraputic education program so well he got promoted out of it and now he is back to prfane language and beating me up. I am so frustrated at this point. We had ade so much progress and now I feel like we are right back in the pit. I am trying to get him moved back but everyone thiks it will pass. They need to come to my houe at night and then make that decision. I came here looking for support and friendship from other parents in the same boat.
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Wendy! When he left the program, what was the follow up plan?

    Often there is none, but you have to demand it.

    I am Wendy, too!
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Wendy, welcome! I'm glad you found us, but sorry you needed to.

    Sorry for all the questions, but your answers will help us help you.

    What kind of doctor diagnosed your difficult child?
    What kind of doctor is prescribing his medications?
    What doses is he taking? Approximately when was each added?
    Is he better, worse or about the same since the medications?
    How does he do in schoo, both academically and with peers?
    Any speech or developmental delays?
    Any sensory issues (for example, sensitivity to clothing tags, loud noises, food textures)?
    Any substance abuse or mental health issues in the family tree?

    We're not doctors and can't diagnose over the internet, but it sounds to me as if you're dealing with more than ADHD. And ODD is not a helpful diagnosis. It describes a set of behaviors that are typically fueled by an underlying disorder. When the underlying disorder is identified and treated, the oppositional behaviors generally subside.

    You might want to get your hands on a copy of The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It has helped many of us on this board parents our extra-challenging children.

    Again, welcome.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Howdy and welcome -

    I'd like to recommend another great book - on effective communication called HOW to talk to your kids so they'll listen and how to listen so your children will talk. It's like a workbook in progress with lessons and practical use..

    Look forward to seeing more of you here!
    WE really are a nice group.
  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I have both of the BOOKS and they are both great!
    The second book is great for husband's as well! LOL

    ADHD and ODD were my difficult child's first diagnosis's also. I have found when my Daughter is doing better both of those "symptoms" go away.
    I am not saying your son does not have ADHD but a lot of times with stability the ODD does tend to go away or at least calm down a lot.
    My daughters ODD diagnosis has now been taken away her psychiatrist feels like that diagnosis is a crock. LOL

    Welcome you have found a great place!
  6. Wishing

    Wishing New Member

    Hi wendy and welcome to our group. The thing I found was that as your child grows there is constant change and this required continuous re-evaluations with our child and adolescent psychiatrist regarding medications. My son also has adhd and medications were important. He was always in regular classes and the right medication at the right dose was helpful in that it helped him focus and to be more even keel in his communicating style. We changed medications or doses almost every three months. When my son does not feel a lot of frustration he also does not use as much profanity. I encouraged my son to make a play date one person at a time several days a week except at church youth night. This gave him something positive to look forward to everyday after school.
  7. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    My son was very successful with stimulant medications but both of my girls had to discontinue them because of the blow outs in the evening. If you haven't had a full neuro psychiatric exam done I would strongly suggest it because it sounds like your dealing with something other then adHd. I always considered ODD as a symptom of something yet to be discovered not a diagnosis in itself. Hope you find some answers soon; getting beat up by a child gets old fast.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome and I am sorry things are so rough. I remember when my difficult child was that age, it was very difficult (he was physically violent much of the time). Stimulants helped his ADHD but it brought about terrible rages that weren't worth it because of his Bipolar. Last summer a camp accidentally gave him someone else's medications (stimulant) by mistake and he came home that night and punched a hole in the door.

    I hate that they aren't letting him back into the enviornment where he was doing so well. Are you working with your son's psychiatrist to get his medications corrected so you don't have so much of the raging?

    I hope you are able to find some time for yourself, I know how hard that can be yet it is so necessary. Sending hugs your way.