As far as alimony, it's very unusual for an ex spouse to be awarded alimony for an extended period of time. I don't have a problem with alimony for a defined period of time. You have to remember that the US does not provide extended maternity leave, generous vacation time, family leave or sabbaticals. Many women leave the workforce for a period of time or downscale their careers entirely in order to raise children. This is especially true of spouses married to those who have careers that are very demanding or require extended schooling and are therefore who unable to split parenting duties evenly. Furthermore, many married couples take on their partner's student loans once they are married. Finally, it's been my experience that usually one career takes precedence over the other while raising children. It's different if you both have 9-5 jobs, but I don't know a lot of people who work just 40 hours a week especially in the formative years of their careers.
I am going to generalize and say that it's usually the woman who scales back and trades career advancement for more workplace flexibility to accommodate her family or gives up her job entirely. I know many women don't have that chance and I was a working mom who went back to work when my first 2 babies were just 6 weeks old. I did eventually cry UNCLE and go part time so that I could be at home more. Between the $435 per week daycare fees for 2 kids (in 1994) plus the fact that one or the other was always sick (and never at the same time) and that my husbands job was inflexible and he worked 70 miles away- something had to give and it was my career/ambition by mutual decision. Additionally, my husband brought student loans into our marriage and I did not. He also had a very successful small business that I helped out with and I took on additional parenting duties so that he could spend more time getting it off the ground. I did this all willingly and happily for "us" and it was a mutual decision.
If our marriage had ended, I absolutely would have pursued spousal support in addition to child support until I could regain the career and earning potential that I gave up by our mutual decisions regarding our family.
Unfortunately,I know quite a few women who put their husbands thru law or medical school, delayed childbearing until their h's had full time careers and then became SAHMS to accommodate the 60+ hour work week & time demands that come with new law/medical & financial careers. Of course, quite a few of these men traded in their wives for newer models or mid life crisis once their careers were established. In situations when one spouse's earnings and earning potential were created or fueled by the other spouse's sacrifice of the same, spousal support makes sense. Again, for a defined period of time; not for a lifetime. (Unless they are near retirement age) I know many women who were granted spousal support in addition to child support, but the longest was for 5 years. Most also received child support through the children's college years not just thru age 18.