no happy ending updat

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Skylark Matrix, Sep 10, 2007.

  1. Skylark Matrix

    Skylark Matrix New Member

    My difficult child will not answer the cell phone -- would not call me from the real phone before she left her previous living arrangment, she had to be out by 10:00 am on sunday. Has not told me any of "decisions" but I hear about them from others. On Sunday it changed from moving in with a friend on a farm (no vehicle to get to work or school) to moving into a house that another friend had just moved out of --- no furniture, cooking equipment etc. ---- live in a motel --- cost too much --- and the final attempt move in with a friend in a city 6 hours from where she starts school in one week ---- that friend stupididly dropped everything and drove the six hours each way to get her, and she had to leave her bicycle in the town she was living . I know difficult child doesn't believe me that the funding from the Indian Band will not come to her bank account until she starts school. And we (I) set that up as a joint two signature account so that she couldn't do something stupid the minute it comes in. I feel like I know she will disappear in that city withing about 4 days, she'll find some one who will buy her drinks and that will be it. I don't know if I am able to cope with that again.
    She is not on any medication and will not go for counseling because "(she) doesn't have any problems and its not (her) fault that no one trys to get along with her". When she gets drinking her ideas come fast and furious and she has no clue how to make a decision.
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Time to put your focus on YOU!!

    Do something for yourself today.
  3. Scent of Cedar I

    Scent of Cedar I New Member

    I'm sorry, Skylark.

    This part is so hard that I don't know how any of us survived it.

    We did though, and you will, too.

    Try to make the choices that will help you to be healthy and strong.

    For right now, there is nothing else you can do.

    Pray for her, if you can.

    Then, let it go for a little while. Fifteen minutes even. Fifteen worry-free minutes will get you from here to fifteen minutes from now. Keep doing it that way, and you will get through this part, one day or one hour at a time.

    I will put the Serentity Prayer here for you. Suz posted to me, back when I was going through this part, that I should read it again and again, until I got it. I did that. It does help.

    Here you go.


    Know we wish you well.

    You will make it.

  4. Jen

    Jen New Member

    I feel for you and understand where you are coming from. It makes one sick to think the choices they are making are so beyond the normal mistakes that one makes at that age.

    You cant help feeling that is a reflection on your self, and for that very reason youi cannot let it go.

    I do like that idea of finding minutes to just let it go. She really is letting it go for you, and saying it is ok for you to. Now it would be harder I think if she let you know, ALL the TIME what was going on. That is what I have to deal with.

    I am sorry I have no answeres for you.