I read a post here about mothers with difficult daughters, and it reminded me of a trait of mine and that is "not remembering how people are: going into denial about them." I went away for the weekend with two of my daughters - one of them has been very abusive to me in the past, but I keep "forgetting," and then am surprised when it happens again (I don't see her all that often, and sometimes when I do see her, she is nice) . . . So this day, I was taking pictures and asked her to step back so I could get her and this amazing architecture in the same shot - she went nuts - said, "I'm not always going to do what you want," etc. She was glaring at me and yelling -out-of-the-blue . . .I said, "You didn't have to say that," and walked away, and tried to compose myself - It really stung - I had tears washing down my face - I wanted to stop it because I didn't want my other daughter to see me crying . . . the mean one chased me down and said, "Oh, now you're crying?" She can be a bully. I have taken it and taken it because I am not a mean person - and I keep thinking she will act right - she is over 40! I have other family members that I also engage with and "forget" how they really are (let's face it: I have a bunch of dysfunctional family members). I keep hoping and wanting a peaceful, functional family - it is a powerful desire - and I have to realize I don't have that and there is nothing I can do about it!