I have friends that have close loving relationships with their sons and I quietly watch the interaction and am really unable to comprehend it but am in awe of it. I do not harbor any feelings of jealousy, I am truly happy for them. I would not wish what I have endured with my son on anyone.
You are so much stronger than I am. I am not in awe of other mothers...I'm torn apart by jealousy. I'm eaten up with envy. I would give this burden ... this relationship ... this child ... to ANYONE to have what they have. I'd give it to my best friend; to my brother. I'm so tired of hurting...so tired of being disappointed...so tired of tears and regrets and sorrow. And he's only 19. There are times I truly don't know how I will survive to see him 21.
It's one of those days where the tears just seem to flow of their own accord.
Sorry Tanya...sometimes I feel like a g.f.g...with the "it's all about me" attitude. I hope that FB alert goes off soon and yours is back on the radar. While half (3/4?) of the time I wish I'd never hear from him...not knowing would be harder.