Well, our difficult child just got back from her weekly visit with her Bio Mom, and it is the first week since her bio mom got back home from Rehab. We always have problems the day she vists mom, but tonight was exceptionally horrendous.... Homework took....let's see.....7 hours to complete tonight. She got home at 5 and started to work on it, and JUST went to bed at midnight. Bear in mind, she only had ONE subject, MATH to complete homework in, and really, only about 10 or 15 problems..... During the last seven hours, we endured like, 5 or 5 horriffic meltdowns, and I discovered our difficult child's new "outlet" since she is no longer threatening suicide, banging her head on the walls or floors, and has decided that she doesn't particularly enjoy cutting herself. She decided it would be nice to try to suffocate herself.... she put one hand over her mouth and used the other hand to plug her nose and just sat there with her eyes clenched shut for what seemed like forever. I kept insisting that she remove her hands from her face (all the time trying not to make physical contact with her by moving her hands myself, because touching her at all when she is raging makes things a million times worse and will turn her violent in the blink of an eye....) I finally told her that if she did not remove her hands from her face I was going to call crisis. That prompted her to listen, because in our county, any call to crisis means an automatic 6 month course with an intervention worker coming to your school several times a week during this time, which she JUST completed her last course two weeks ago, and she absolutely HATES her crisis worker, so she did NOT want to have to go back into that again. Don't get me wrong, I don't think she was really in any "danger" because if she did it long enough to pass out, her hands would fall away and she would start breathing again, but there is always the matter of what happens when you deprive the brain of oxygen for that long, plus I am always worried that there is that small chance that she might NOT start breathing again.... I just don't understand what is going through her head when she does this stuff. I mean, she will go for days that you can tell she is REALLY trying to behave, and just when we get to a place where we start to think that MAYBE she has figured it out, she goes and does something like this, and it doesn't even seem like she tries. I read the Explosive Child and I have been trying to put some of the techniques into place in our home, but the biggest thing we have going against us is that I honestly don't beleive that our difficult child is "unable to control" her outbursts. She riles people INENTIONALLY, and she will tell you that she does it intentionally, just to see how far she can push things, and she doesn't lose control until we "p*ss her off" as she says... which doesn't make much sense to me, because that is such a self-destructive attitude and I am not sure which would worry me more. Having a child that CANNOT control their outbursts or having one that CAN control their outbursts and CHOSES to have outbursts like this on a regular basis???????? Any adivce? Comfort? It has been such a LLLOOOONNNNGGG night!!!!