Oh people just annoy me.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mrscatinthehat, Aug 13, 2008.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    easy child took drivers ed a while back. Of course it is a private guy and some other guys that teach with him. She passed the class with flying colors but didn't pass the driving test.

    When I talked to him at the time he got very snobbish with me and didn't want to answer my questions. I just wanted to know what she needed to work on. He told me she knew and she needed more confidence. I asked several more times and got the same response everytime. Well easy child was not comfortable with this man. She couldn't and still can't tell me why she just isn't comfortable driving with him.

    So moving forward to now. She has a job going to be starting and in the spring she will need to go from the high school to the college. I really don't want to drive her the whole time as it just isn't a good thing economically not to mention if I have to work.

    So I called the DOT and they said that all he had to do was give her the certificate of completion and specify on that that she needs to pass a driving test and it would be fine. I called him and asked for it.

    Guess what he said no. I got snarky instantly with him. He asked why I waited so long etc. Well, I tried to talk to you at the time and you wouldn't give me any answers. Of course he denies all of that. Can you say I wanted to reach through the phone and smack that man?

    So I change my tactics in mid rant. Ok, so how will we resolve this? I asked him. I think I through him off because I was completely different at that point. He says he will give her another driving test on Sat the 23 and then if she passes she can get the paper. I told him that was fine except that doesn't solve the problem that my daughter isn't comfortable with him. Well, he says I don't know what to tell you I have taught thousands of kids. And then he adds I am not an Ogre. I had to stifle the comment I wanted to make on that one.

    So easy child is at my moms at the moment and I called to see how she is doing and share the information with her. Well she blew a gasket. Told me that she just would walk everywhere she needed to go. OH no you will not. was my response. Things did not end well.

    Now I realize some of this is my fault. I don't normally push her too hard if she is uncomfortable with something and so now she thinks if it gets hard just walk away. Now that will work with some things but blast it not everything. She promised me that she would work on this when she came home from her dads. Well this is our one opportunity for it to get resolved. She can not tell me exactly what the problem with him is but I tell you what getting her to drive has been like pulling teath since she got done. My step dad has been making her drive a couple times as well as my mom while she is visiting them. And I will make her drive from the time she gets home til the test.

    We even already have the car for her in the back.

    First I deal with snarky jerk, then snarky teen. Ughhhhhh.

    I know some people would say that I should let it go and not make her but I paid for this class and it wasn't cheap and we had full discussions at the time about it.

    There isn't enough room in my head right now for anyone else to **** me off so I hope for anyone else sake (husband better beware) that no one decideds to annoy me.

  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Two things come quickly to mind (1) she could be scared to drive and by pushing off getting her license, she doesn't have to drive (that was me at 16) or (2) she really is getting bad vibes from this man, in which case maybe having you ride in the backseat to 'protect' her may be enough to get her through the test???
  3. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I don't know if they would allow me to ride along. Because well hmmm I don't know if I could keep my mouth shut. Not at her but at him. Plus I don't know what the rule is. She was ok with driving until this guy. I don't know what he said or did but dang if she wasn't gunshy after drivers ed (shouldn't that work oposite).

  4. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I don't blame you for wanting to ring his chimes for him! Is it the written test she's trying to pass, or the driving part? I don't know ... if it was me and my kid said she was uncomfortable with someone she had to be alone with, I wouldn't want to take the chance.

    I know you paid a lot of money for the classes, but can she not just study up and take the test on her own? Most State websites have a section on them with an online study guide for the driving tests.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I was reading the Readers Digest from this month about teen drivers and it had an extremely good article in it regarding the "right" of passage as a 16 year old to drive.

    Some are not mature enough - Like Dude (Laugh when I think about HIM behind the wheel of more than an arcade game) and how someone is trying to make it so that it is 100 hours of driving a student has to have to pass, not 50. I didn't drive until I was 17 - got my own apt, and worked 3 jobs at 16 - graduated high school - and yeah - still not ready for prime time driving.

    Then I think - ya know - I HAVE been hit 9 times by other drivers, 7 of them drunks - maybe I should have just given up driving all together.

    As for snarky ogre?

  6. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Truthfully this is a much bigger problem than it seems at face value. Let me explain.

    She passed the written portion of things and that is miraculous for her as she normally does things the other way. Passes whatever it is and struggles on the questions.

    Last year she took lifeguarding in school. Passed all the skills with flying colors. Written test not so much. She passed enough to pass the class but not enough to get the certification. So I asked her what her plan was. She said she would retest. Then she came up with a whole bucket of reasons not to do so and didn't.

    When things get hard she retreats. Now she is interested in the Navy. And when push comes to shove she can't just walk from that. I think it is just cuz he is a jerk that she doesn't like him. Not that I blame her because he brings out the need to put the smack down on him, but she can't always walk away when things don't work the first time. I just wish I knew how to get her to stop doing that. Oh wait I just stopped doing that a few years ago.

    I mean I had a lovely drivers ed teacher in school. (dripping in sarcasm) He saw me on the first day of school the following year and said "Wow, I am surprised to see you are still alive." As if that wasn't a confidence booster. So it isn't like I dont' understand. But geez. Finish something already.

  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I'd be contacting the DOT again and ask what the contingency is for a student who feels very uncomfortable around her driver's ed tutor. We raise our kids to speak up when they feel uncomfortable and to say when they get bad vibes - so to force her to do her test with this man is sending a bad message. If DOT insist she do it with this man, then I think THEY are sending a bad messaage.

    Mind you, she needn't have anything specific to formally complain about, just a bad vibe or a personality clash. If it becomes obvious that she is stalling or insisting that she has this problem sequentially with every driver's ed instructor, then DOT might say, "Hang on, we can't keep making arrangements just for one kid with a bad case of nerves."

    But this surely must happen from time to time? There can be personality clashes with driving instructors. a kid might feel uncomfortable even if the instructor has done nothing wrong - they still should have the right to be independently assessed.

    This could be a case of the big differences between the US method and the Aussie one. Here, we can either learn privately or go to a driving school. But the final test MUST be done with the official DOT people.
    I did my lessons through a driving school. I'd already done a lot of driving lessons privately with husband, plus done most of a driving course a few years earlier, but not been able to organise my test before all the paperwork expired. So I did know how to drive, I just didn't have my licence.
    But to make sure I got my licence through fairly quickly and efficiently, I organised for driving lessons through a driving school.

    The first lesson - the instructor was good, I got on well with him. But he wasn't well, he took sick leave. The next instructor was a woman who for some weird reason, was very snappy. She made me nervous and I really didn't want to be taught by her again. I was wondering what to do about it, I wanted to complain but there really wasn't anything to complain about other than a personality clash. But my next lesson - she wasn't there, she had taken herself off my classes because SHE had the sense to realise her attitude and my attitude just weren't going to work together. The third instructor - I had no problems.

    easy child also learnt through a driving school and went for her test. The examiner is never the teacher in our case - the examiner she had was horrible to her, shouted at her mid-test (which they're not supposed to do) and as a result she was so rattled she failed the test (stalled the car mid-intersection).
    The instructor normally paid for the first test, the student has to pay for a repeat test if she fails. But in this case, he must have said something and arranged for a repeat test with no fee.

    So there should be some contingency in place for a student who really feels very uncomfortable around her instructor. She should be able to be given her test either by a DOT official, or another nominated instructor. She shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable because the driver should always have some say in who is a passenger in their car.

    I hope this is possible for her. Morally, I think it should be.

    And she does have to learn that there are ways to overcome these sort of problems. You can't just walk away and pretend there is no problem. You have to find a way around it. But it shouldn't mean she has to put up with someone who sounds like a problem, in a number of ways.

  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Is it required she take this course to get her license?

    In Ohio I believe it's only required until the age of 18. I don't know as a solid fact as both my girls did the over 18 thing. I wasn't footing the course bill of 300 bucks.

    If easy child is uncomfortable with this guy, you need to sit her down and get it nailed down as to why. Could be he is a royal jerk. Could be he made a pass at her. Either way you need to know.

    If easy child won't tell you, and still refuses to do the test..........And you want to drive home the fact that sometimes you have to do things even when it's tough..........Simple way to solve the problem. She walks where ever she wants to go. No more rides for her anywhere. Enough walking and odds are she'll change her mind.

    But you need to know why this guy bothers her. Because if it's for inappropriate behavior you don't want to send her a wrong message by forcing her back into a car with him.

    Nichole was afraid of driving. She put it off until she was 18. Then kept putting it off until I put my foot down on rides. She goes for the driving part of her test I believe next week. Thanks to her boyfriend's Dad, Nichole is now confident and comfortable driving. She ought to be fine.