Beth, welcome back onto the wagon. And for those who feel they have failed by indulging in what is off-limits, please don't feel guilty. If you limit yourself too much then you will be almost doomed to failure.
On my diet, there have been a couple of times when I was faced with considerable temptation. My diet is VERY restrictive, it is the only way I can lose weight. However, I do have to actually allow the occasional indulgence - part of this requires me to NOT feel guilty about it at all, but to allow myself to enjoy it.
For example, husband has an annual dinner with his train club - it was a few months ago, July I think. I was not quite halfway through my big weight loss. What is driving me with this - my health desperately requires it. My doctor was very insistent. However, I know that the occasional indulgence shouldn't damage my health, it is the consistent eating of what I shouldn't have (sugar, fat, alcohol, carbs in quantity) that will do the damage.
The dinner should have been easy for me - it was buffet, which means I could choose what to safely eat and be able to stay on my diet. But we so rarely go out, I made a conscious decision - on this night, I was going to bend the rules and not feel guilty for it.
So for that dinner, I continued to stay off the alcohol. I had a few small sips from husband's glass but no more. The main course was a roast - I ADORE roast potatoes but have not been allowing myself any at all. But on this night, I allowed one. But dessert - it was pavlova. A huge favourite of mine. I enjoyed every tiny bit of it, the meringue, the cream, the passionfruit and strawberries. I had a whole piece, not a thin sliver. I absolutely loved it. A couple of the men at the table commented on how much I was clearly enjoying it without the usual whining they would hear form their wives about how naughty it was to eat pavlova.
I was a little concerned that it would set my diet back - actually, it didn't. I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't make myself pay for it with more exercise, or cutting back on calories for the next few days - I just went back to my diet plan next morning with my usual muesli serve. And I could do it and remember that piece of pavlova, and smile. I had really enjoyed it, it was well worth it.
I have cut back my calories a lot. I can't get too preachy because I DID have help in the form of a diet pill, but in the days since I stopped the pills, I've lost another half kilo. The diet pills got me started, but what is keeping me going is a combination of extreme motivation (health) and a mindset that is working for me.
So keep it in mind - guilt has no place. If you break your diet, think about why. Don't blame yourself, just make a decision - what do you want to do? If you want to diet, then get back on the wagon. Think of it as like running a long marathon - sometimes you have to stop running so hard and slow down for a bit, maybe sit and rest, to give you the extra burst of energy and resolve to keep going. You can't do it too often or you will lose too much of your lead, but it can be good strategy to not push yourself too hard too early, or to not pace yourself.
And you also need to have a very good reason for running the race, so that when you begin to feel the burn, when your muscles scream at you, you can tell them why.
I eat a small square of chocolate each day. Most days. Again, I have rules around that piece of chocolate. It represents freedom form dieting, but it also is a taste of something good for you in tiny amounts. It is variety, it is taste, it is energy, it is indulgence.
I have other rules - drink lots of water (or calorie equivalent of water). Eat muesli for breakfast (and as a snack when ravenous). No sugar. No fat. No alcohol. Only wholegrain carbs. Any sauce is OK as long as it's no more than a tablespoon per meal. Keep total quantity low per meal, but eat up to five meals if hungry.
I'm 53. Diets in the past haven't worked as well as this one, because in the past I've followed rules set by other people. This time I made my own rules and although they're based on the best info I could find, I still had to make it mine.
I think that's what each of you have to do - whatever you are doing or trying to do, you need to make it your own. You don't have to do it like I do - do it like YOU do.
And feel good about yourself and what you are doing, whatever you are trying to do.
Marg
