OK, tree is up....anyone want to take bets?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Lothlorien, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Missy cannot handle Christmas well. I usually wait until the week before Christmas to put up the tree and sometimes just days before. The anxiety is just too much for her. We had the Santa talk last year, so maybe it won't be as bad.

    I caved to putting the tree up early, because Mighty Mouse is just so excited and has been bugging us since Thanksgiving to put up the tree.

    Anyone want to take bets on when, if or how long it will take for her to have a complete meltdown. I didn't have the tree up (It was partially up, because we had light issues) yesterday, but she was teetering on a very fine fulcrum. Had I pushed her further to finish her homework, she would have blown like Vesuvius.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hopefully she can hold it together. *fingers crossed*

    I always decorated the day after thanksgiving and just never thought about it. The meltdowns ect were going to happen anyway and after a while Travis got used to the decor and such and would calm down to some degree.

    easy child is nagging me. I haven't even really started to decorate yet.
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I hope she can hold it together this year, given the talk about Santa last year.

    difficult child has always been the Christmas fanatic - it begins at Halloween! Yikes! Now that she doesn't live with us, at least I can get away with a fake tree ☺. I think I'll put that up this weekend.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Maybe if she were part of the decision making as to WHEN the lights were turned on an off certain nights of the week?????? If it's a control thing - that could give her a little more input. AND ......(not a really crazy idea either)
    If it's the decorations that get to her - why not ALLOW her to have a special box and each night she gets to pick an ornament to TAKE OFF the tree and UNDECORATE it.....in preparation for taking the tree DOWN? Again more control - but something to look forward to for her. (maybe)

    Kinda like her UNChristmas -Christmas present
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hope she handles it well this year. It's so hard to have to walk on eggshells when our difficult child's are less-than-stable. I like Star's idea of getting her more involved in the process so it's hopefully not as overwhelming.

    We have and early Dec. birthday so I usually wait until after that event to start decorating -- keeps the celebrations separate.

    We still don't have our tree out of the box yet, though husband and the boys completely rearranged our living room and dining room on Sunday so there'd be a spot for it! My anxiety about getting everything out and up is not too bad. I just have too much going on to care that much about it.
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I haven't decorated our tree yet either - and today I came out in the den and it was covered in BIKER garb ---Grim reaper.....skeletons, skulls and dead cow head things. On the bottom of the tree was a full minature lighted skeleton blinking away.....ONLY in our house. We're going to do some anxiety ridding of our own tonight......and replace the lovely skeletons with nice ornaments. ahem.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Who did that? The cats??
  8. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    No, the donkeys.
  9. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Thanks for the input Star. She puts the lights on and likes the decorations. She wants them up. She just has so much anxiety about Christmas. Presents, Santa, family. I mean I get it....I used to get so excited over Christmas and I couldn't sleep. I just didn't behave so awfully. It's not just at home either. She's bombarded everywhere.

    The kids on the late bus were bothering her today. She doesn't handle that well either. She's tense and grouchy. Perhaps I need to give her some Midol. Don't throw tomatoes.....a friend suggested that a while ago and it did really help a bit. I can't believe she still hasn't gotten her period yet. She's got to be getting it soon!
  10. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Ahhhh...I remember all too well the horrible anxiety the holidays used to bring for Matt. Finally in his late teens he denounced the holiday all together .... I am sure due to the fact that the anxiety out weighed the gifts in his psyche. HUGS.....
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I can feel the tension in the air. Missy was yelling at her brother this morning. I have to try to figure out a way to do something calming for her when she gets home from school. Yesterday, I made cookies and thought she'd want to participate, but she didn't. She doesn't like reading....she can't pay attention long enough to get into a movie, except for certain ones and everytime I get a movie that I think they'll watch, they are gone in 20 minutes irritating the heck outta each other.

    Any suggestions to calm her when she gets home from school that will still give her time to do her homework?
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

  13. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Lots of distractions. Keep her going with christmas activities. Have her make clay pots for every relative. (Seriously did this with Matt - it worked awesome). Have her write a long letter to a relative that needs encouragement. Make it a requirement to go outside and ride her bike or swing for awhile. Set up a small donation fund for an underprivileged child or community online with her. Have her draw what she sees in a 6' x 6' area. Take her to the SPCA to walk the dogs that need attention.
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Insane and Steely both had excellent ideas....

    I think it would depend a lot on Missy......what she enjoys doing. It sounds like right now - she needs a big sister to be on the bus and put some bullies in their place. I would love to volunteer for that job - gratis. At different times different things would level Dude & Steven out. Dude was more artistic and so we took paper and taped it to the wall and gave him some Sharpie markers and let him go wild. He did the most bizzare murals.....and it was really relaxing for him to "draw on the walls". For Steven? He was more physical - so he needed to rake, or shovel, or sweep. THAT relaxes me. I like to work. Sometimes doing acts of service - like crocheting a row a night of a blanket for a baby in the Nic U.....could be relaxing - or knitting. Learning piano. IF Learning relaxes her - that's something she'll have to let you know. If not - stay away from it.

    I love the walk the dog idea......that ALWAYS relaxes me. Does the dogs a world of good too.
  15. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    yep, all very good ideas. We have our own dog that could really use a walk in the afternoon too. I can suggest it. She likes to crochet.

    Now we are battling the room disaster again. What a stinkin mess - AGAIN!

    I think I'll get her to crochet a bit tomorrow when she comes home and convince her to then get the slop cleaned up.
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Why not check with the local hospital and see about crocheting little hats for newbies? Or a blanket for an elderly person - not a full afghan but maybe like a lap blanket?

    I know this is a crazy thing, but when DUde was really really having his ME ME ME personna - I took him to the Childrens ward at the hospital and walked him through the cancer ward. He saw the kids with no hair, in beds, hooked up to tubes, and ya know....after that? After talking to the kids who KNEW they may die, and were still thankful for someone to just stop in and say hi? EVEN HE was humbled for a long time. Sometimes I think it does our kids good to do volunteer work like that - with sick kids, or elderly people - and they LEARN....and the best thing to me is OUR KIDS HAVE HUGE HUGE HEARTS because if NOTHING else - they KNOW exactly what it's like to be PICKED on and be the underdog. So no one can tell me they don't have a passion for reaching out to others LESS fortunate. It's like a built in gift.

    Maybe if Missy met someone like that and had a purpose for crocheting? It would be a stress reliever and give her something to look forward to - seeing someone? If she does a row? Okay fine - if not? Okay fine. NO deadline on the blanket or hat......just a conversation and hello for 5 -30 minutes a week with someone other than SELF? It could be the start of something?

    Just a thought. Sometimes when we do for others it helps us more than we realize.

    As far as the slop?

    Best thing I ever read on cleaining was to make a list - of THREE things each day for kids like ours --------and have them do ONLY what is on that days list so they feel a sense of accomplishment. Keep the list simple, short and accomplishable. THEN PRAISE lavishably - and if the lists are done each day - you can begin to post the next days chore list - ahead of time and IF they want extra credit in the form of CASH - they can do two lists or SIX things at once - but they must be completed totally to your satisfaction. ALL rules are agreed on ahead of time. But ONLY three things - this worked so well in the boys' bedroom I couldn't believe it -
    Instead of saying CLEAN YOUR ROOM - I would say - TONIGHT - I want you to: MAKE YOUR BED, PICK UP YOUR LAUNDRY FROM THE FLOOR AND PUT IT INA BASKET ON YOUR BED so I can do laundry....and pickup ANY red toys and put them in the toybox. ONLY RED TOYS. Anything else on Monday nights? Got left on the floor. No other dusting, no other nothing. They thought I lost my mind. But.....The beds got made, the laundry got picked up (and sometimes I would say ONLY whites), and all red toys - before going out to play. Tuesday it was all BLUE toys, ALL surfaces dusted, and any socks and underwear must be put in your dresser drawers.

    Trust me - it worked.
  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Hmmm... Dog. How old is this furry friend? (or is it a fiend? I've had both!) What kind of breeding?
    'cause... the latest stressbuster in our house is... teach the dog a new trick.
    Don't know if your dog does tricks, maybe already has a whole raft down pat, but if not...

    The easiest trick in the world, is to teach a doggie to "beg" for a treat. Easiest because... its the one trick that, for the rest of doggie's life, always ends in a TREAT. (but only if YOU asked for the beg... otherwise, you end up with a BEGGAR... or something else that sounds like that...)

    If you want a list of easy tricks, let me know... trust me, if a 65lb lab/biggie class clown can learn a trick... it HAS to be easy. (remind me of that line... its another trick)