Help, help, help. In this neverending battle with pre-teen girls (and my daughter is very Learning Disability (LD) and not too confident) what would you do about the girl wars? My daughter went to the public pool and her BFF was with another friend, and they both ignored her. N. came home and said, "I guess R. has another best friend." I told her to go over anyways and play with them, but she said "They didn't ask me, so they must not want me to go" and she wouldn't. I suggested another kid, and she said "She's not home." I suggested a THIRD child and she said, "She's boring." Now she's pouting and feeling left out. All right, I realize this is NOT difficult child proportions, but how do moms cope with this? It's my second daughter, and my first one coped with middle school nastiness and insecurity by becoming a drug addict. Believe it or not, her popularity skyrocketed once she used drugs. The phone never stopped ringing. I want to encourage THIS daughter to feel good about herself in constructive ways, but I'm not sure what to say to her. I can't MAKE her ask if she can join in. She wants me to call her friend's mother to ask if she can play. I said, "No." I feel SHE has to do that. She's 11 already,and I feel SHE has to do it. At the same time I keep thinking about my other daughter and her incredibly scary drug years. How do you get insecure children to deal with this? She already knows everyone in her grade, since there are only about thirty-five fifth graders. She is in lots of activities and is well accepted. Some of her friends can't play. There is the neverending problem of kids of divorced parents who have to see "Dad" every other weekend so they aren't always around. That's a BIG problem for N. Another is N. herself and her personality. I try to do "girl" things with her, but what do I actually SAY to her when she comes to me with stuff like, "R. isn't my best friend anymore." I already said, "Well, talk to her about it." She shook her head. She won't. Can I scream now? Mothers who have successfully glided insecure girls through these years, please help. She is a pretty T pre-T, yet she's making me tear my hair out. My difficult child isn't causing me once ounce of grief because he's so comfortable in his autistic skin, but N. is going to drive me to drink (a lot)!