On a totally different note...how do you say good-bye? (Sad)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Aug 11, 2013.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Most of you know I love dogs as much as people and more than some people!!

    I had raised three dogs since they were puppies, but when we had to move to a small rental house without a fenced yard from a huge farm house with many acres, the dogs got very upset with each other. They started fighting, biting each other, peeing all over, growling at everyone who came over, and in general were clearly crowded and unhappy. Because of the landlord's carpeting, they were confined to as pretty small tiled room and could onlyl go outside when on leash and walking (we don't tie our dogs outside).

    After a year's research we found a doggy sanctuary which we felt would offer them a better life than in our little rental home. The owner of the rescue is a vet. One of the dogs was diagnosed with Cushilngs just before it was her turn to leave for the sanctuary, and the owner took her anyway and has loved her ever since. She has had a good life there. (The other two were adopted as only dogs, which was best for them). The dog with Cushings is named Lucky and she was always the smart one of the three, the one who would have rescued us if our house had caught on fire and the alarm hadn't gone off.

    I write to Karla the vet to find out about the dogs, especially Lucky, once a month. This month Karla told me Lucky is very happy, loves her walks and playing with staff and visitors, and chasing her ball, but that she is getting sicker. She said Lucky has lived longer than a ny Cushings patient she has ever treated and that maybe it would be a good idea to visit her one last time, which we planned on doing. Karla will not euthanize her...she only does that if a dog or cat is in extreme pain, but she did say it is common for a dog who has fought so long to stay active and is so sick to just die very suddenly without warning. So we are going Saturday so that we can say good-bye. I'm not sure how to do it.

    For dog lovers only, how would you say good-bye to a dog you know you'll never see again alive, and love very much, but who no longer lives with you? I'm thinking of bringing some special toys I know she loves and some treats and of course walks and hugs...it doesn't seem like enough. I have never known a dog was sick and dying in advance. Frankly, I think she had Cushings a few years before diagnosis as I noticed she was drinking excessively, panting all the time, having her first pee accidents ever, getting sick in the car, and she had an episode where her eye looked as if it were popping out of her socket and it was red...that can mean a tumor, but it responded to treatment for conjunctivitis. She is twelve years old now. I thought she'd keep going until sixteen because, in spite of that, she had a lot of energy. She did not act like an elderly dog.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    This isn't for the dog, this is for you. A few favorite edibles, lots of hugs, a good brushing if the dog still likes that, and some walks... these will show your love, and your love will stay in memory for both of you.

    Last good-byes to furbabies is never easy.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    A favorite treat. A much loved toy (rubbed to have your scent.......trust me it will linger for a very long time to a dog), perhaps a comfy bed if she doesn't already have one, brushing if it is something she enjoys, lots of cuddles, some playtime if she is up to it, and of course doggie kisses.

    I loved on Molly all that last weekend with her. Did my best to make sure she was as comfortable as I could make her. Lots of the above, except the walk/toy/playtime as she wasn't up to that.....let her stay near me or in a quiet place (depended on what she wanted).

    I was holding her when she crossed the Rainbow bridge and I will never regret it. I thought it would be horribly hard to let her go........but I knew it was time and while it hurt my heart it wasn't hard like I thought it would be.

    I was holding every dog we ever loved as they crossed over, including Rowdy as fate, I still believe, had a hand in that moment.

    Perhaps, if it is possible, and Karla is able to tell the time is very near, she could call you and you could come be with Lucky during her final moments on this side? (I don't know the distance ect or how doable that would be)

    Good byes to our furbabies are never easy.

  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks to both of you.

    Karla wouldn't know exactly when as it could be sudden. ANd it's over an hour away. I will do all you said then tell her it's all right to go now and that I'll see her later on...in the next world. I'm glad you answered, Houng Dog. I know you just lost a few babies yourself. Now I feel better about the plans.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have had quite a few dogs die myself. The hardest thing for me ever was when our neighbor shot two of my dogs and one was only about 10 weeks old. We tried everything we could but the bullet severed her spine so she was paralyzed and could only use her front legs. I could have never afforded a doggie wheelchair for her plus she was going to be a very big dog. She was a bull mastiff. I had to sign the papers for her to be put to sleep but someone came along that had a farm and they took in dogs like her. I cried like all get out when I left her at the vet but I left her with a blanket she liked and some nice doggy treats. I often wonder if she is still alive because I never knew who these people were. On one hand I hope she is but I also imagine she would be in pain or it would be so hard for her to get around.
  6. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I would take a few of her favorite treats. Just spending time with her, loving on her. I was going to say a t-shirt that you have worn, but not laundered. But, I do not know if that would confuse her since she will not be coming home with you. Hugs.I know how hard this can be.
  7. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry.:crying:
  8. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Midwest Mom,

    I'm so sorry... No matter what the circumstances, it's never easy having to say goodbye to a fur baby. I know from reading what you've previously written, that everything you've done for Lucky has been out of love and concern for her well-being. I'm also positive Lucky knows how much she is loved.

    I like the idea of bringing her a favorite toy, maybe even an unwashed tee shirt too, with your scent on them. I don't think this will confuse Lucky, I think it'll help her feel secure, bring her comfort, when it's time for you to leave. I also like the idea of bringing her a favorite treat, walking her, playing with her, if she feels well enough. Just being with her, hugging her, showing her how much you love her, even though I'm sure she already knows this, will make her feel extra special.

    I have to leave to pick up difficult child 3 at work but couldn't go without letting you know, I'm thinking about you... Lots of hugs, love being sent your way... SFR
  9. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    Years ago my vet's office sent me a card that read "When a beloved pet leaves us it's to sit on God's lap to wait for us to join it" ... I like to believe this, figure if he's got a place for lions & lambs must have room for cat's & dog's too.

    This meeting is just as much for you as your furry loved one; seeing you is gonna be the treat anything you bring will be just a bonus. If have an old t-shirt you could leave with your smell on it, it would be comforting to the animal when the time comes.

    My good thoughts and prayers go out to you in this time of sadness, try to focus on memories of the good times.
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks to all of you. I totally believe there's some sort of rainbow bridge where our pets greet us when we cross over. These are my true beliefs. It does help and I believe it with all my heart. I won't go into why, but...I do know.

    Janet, I would have been hard pressed not to shoot my neighbors who shot my puppies!!!!! I wouldn't have blamed you if you had! We are way too soft on those who kill our family members...our pets! But, again, I believe in karma and God watches. I heard Michael Vick was in a car accident and broke both of his legs. That would be karma to me.

    I am going to request the playroom for Lucky so I can talk to her. Ok, now most of you who have put up with me so far are ready to call 9-1-1 and pray that the guys in white coats get me in time, but, again, I believe this with all of my heart so I have to do it. I want to tell Lucky how much I love her and have always loved her. I want to give her special things and take pictures and ask her to watch over us. And I want to give her permission to cross, if she was waiting for us to visit to say good-bye. Her doggie siblings are in loving homes, but nobody wanted an old, sick dog...except the vet who runs the place, bless her golden heart. But maybe Lucky was waiting for us to say good-bye to her. I want her to have my permission to move on to the next world.

    I really believe after we see her, she will pass away shortly after, if not right away. Some beings hang on because they think we need them to stay. (I think I hear the sirens).

    At any rate, I deeply appreciate your heartfelt responses. I'm off to take my antipsychotics now...j/k :) You all made me feel better.
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    No sirens hon. Anyone who acknowledges there is a very active spiritual side to life and has truly observed animal behavior without pre-conceived notions knows that animals are just a different type of people, like us in most ways.....including communication except they don't quite speak our language.

    Not long after we lost our 3 furbabies Nichole had her Dad come to her. She saw Rowdy and Betsy. When she didn't see Molly she asked him if he'd seen her on the other side. He made the message loud and clear Molly's soul didn't stay on the other side......she still has an important job to do. What that means, I can't say. But Nichole got to see both Rowdy and Betsy so happy over there......and she felt so much better. Rowdy I held and petted and did my best to make him comfy......and I told him it was ok for him to go join Molly......even though his death was rather sudden. I know he looked up.....wagged (not at me) and then crossed over. I knew Fred and Molly were there to greet him because I felt their presence.

    You talk to Lucky and tell her all the things you need to tell her. She will understand. When she is ready, she will move on to the other side which is similar but better in so many ways than here. She will wait for you, most likely front and center with all those to greet you when it is time for you to go to the other side as well.

    There is more to the world than what our senses can tell us...... As Fred told Nichole during a visit with her.....

    You have to see with your heart.

  12. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I am sorry, that you are going thru this with Lucky. I have lost a good friend several times and it is never easy, with my fourteen year old Cat Buddy Boy, I laid on the floor with him and just hugged and kissed him and told him to go and come and visit me in my dreams. I believe in a special place for pets in Heaven. I would ask Buddy to come and visit me some nights in my dreams, and I would dream that I was in a large park, wih a wooden fence, and I could not find him, but when I spoke he heard my voice and ran like a kitten down the fence to get to me. Many other times I have dreamt about him. I would also take a blanket or tshirt from home, and leave it with her. I was devastated when he died, but then I thought< i know that this is hard, but he was such a joy to know, and I would never have given up any of that time. It was a blessing and I have given many fur babies a home. I will be thinking about you!!!!!!!
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks to all.

    I have reason to believe that we all exist beyond this world and that animals are a part of that. Again, won't go into detail, but have had experiences that make me know this.

    Jumper and I are going to be in constant communication until Saturday in case the vet calls us. It turns out that last night Lucky had a serious setback and the vet warned us that this may be her time. She wrote it late last night. This morning I called and her treatment had made Lucky much better. The sparkle was back in her eyes. And as long as Lucky was happy, she was not going to put her down. But a setback again can happen fast so she has Jumpers cell and mine and Jumper and me are going to keep in close communication just in case and drive down immediatally if necessary.

    I have sure loved all my animals a lot. I am glad Karla took over Lucky's care. I could not have kept her as comfortable as Karla does. I have tons of stuff to bring to New Life when I go visit Karla. The rescue gets no funding except donations and I want to give all I can to this wonderful place.
  14. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    How did your visit with Lucky go? I'm positive everyone, especially all the animals, will greatly appreciate everything you bring to New Life.

    Thinking of you this morning... Hugs... SFR