husband and I got in a huge fight last night about difficult child, it's becoming a pretty common occurance. difficult child bought a little book safe with his birthday money. Last week when i was doing laundry I found his key. I gave it to husband and asked him to put it back in his room and not to get into his safe, he said ok. Well, last night difficult child comes out of his room telling me "Dad has no right to get into my safe." I stuck up for husband and said that he didn't get into his safe, based on our previous conversation. difficult child told me he knows he did because he had a kitchen knife (actually a very sharp steak knife) in the safe and now it's gone. So many things went off in my head at that moment. Why did difficult child need a knife locked up in a safe? Why did husband do what he told me he wouldn't? I asked difficult child about the knife and he said he needed it to cut things in his room because we can never find the scissors. I asked why he locked it in his safe and he said so we wouldn't take it. This makes no sense to me, but seems perfectly logical to difficult child. I was furious with husband though because I stuck up for him and ended up looking like an a**. I don't think the end justified the means. He lied to me and proved that difficult child has 0 privacy. It's very frustrating because I don't feel like he is parenting with me. He is parenting against me. This is very difficult because he works 2nd shift so I am usually the one dealing with difficult child's meltdowns. Very often husband will tell difficult child things on the phone that make him mad and then I have to deal with the aftermath. I tend to get very protective because husband is not difficult child's biological father, although he has been his father since he was 3. He just recently adopted him. husband and I have worked through alot of problems in our marriage, but I don't feel like we are going to survive difficult child. Anyway, he says he doesn't feel difficult child should have any privacy based on his past behavior and that he clearly can't be trusted because of what he found. I can definetly see his point, but I also feel 13 year olds need a small amount of privacy. I'm angry with husband, but I'm not sure what the right answer to the privacy issue is. It scares me a little that difficult child had a knife in there. I don't know what his intentions were and I don't want him to hurt anyone or himself. difficult child also got very remorseful when he noticed that husband and I were arguing (on the phone). He said "I'm sorry I didn't mean to get you and dad into a fight."