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Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tired mama, Feb 7, 2018.

  1. Tired mama

    Tired mama Active Member

    Constructive communication |

    I was searching for info and found this article with suggestions for communicating with addicts and would like some feedback. Some of it felt a little vague but interesting. I often feel i make things worse when i talk to my son. Also it focuses on addicts and many of us have Difficult Child s with dual diagnosis so not sure if that makes a difference.scroll past pictures
    Tired mama
     
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  2. newstart

    newstart Active Member

    Tired mama, Lots of good information in that. Thank you for posting. It is so important that we treat everyone with compassion but OMG when dealing with a troubled child the patience gets very thin, instead of constantly being at odds with my daughter I sometime choose to ignore her, that is not right either but I get so wore out from the constant battle and then when she steals money from me things get really ugly. I am positive my daughter has a dual diagnosis.
     
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  3. Tired mama

    Tired mama Active Member

    I agree sometimes i just want peace. This article seems to want continued communication with our dual diagnosis DCS but sometimes i need to step back because i want to just tell him exactly what i feel which would not be what they recommend. I will try to do as much as i can. Also i can not talk to him when he is being abusive.
     
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  4. newstart

    newstart Active Member

    Tired mom, I guess we have to try just one more different thing to see if it brings peace to our hearts and homes. I keep thinking I have tried everything. I agree, no talking to them when they are abusive.
     
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  5. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I think there are some very good tip in the article but what works for one does not always work for another.
    We can become so exhausted in dealing with our difficult adult children that we simply have nothing left to give and desperately need to step away and recharge ourselves and that can take some time.
    I also think for some, the heartbreak and distrust can be so deep that communication just may not be possible.

    The article is titled Constructive Communication but when you have a child that is bent on destruction it's that much more difficult to be constructive.

    For me, I've learned with my son to keep my answers short. I also have to be careful in engaging into conversation with him because he likes to set traps and bait me into an argument.

    Again, some good tips, just may not work for everyone.
     
  6. Sam3

    Sam3 Active Member

    I agree. I think I’m in a deep hibernation for one or both of these reasons.
     
  7. Tired mama

    Tired mama Active Member

    Thank you for your input. It also seemed like you were being encouraged to keep them at home which cant happen here.