Some days (many days) I feel like difficult child isn't difficult child, that he's just a mean kid!! I feel so bad thinking that but I just don't understand why he is so mean! He's not the kind of kid that would trip someone or throw a rock at someone...he uses his words and not even name calling, just this weird passive aggressive mean-ness, is the best way to describe it. fyi he's 5 1/2 now, my siggy needs updating I think. Like yesterday little brother (3 y/o) was pointing our the window saying "look at the the yellow flowers M!" and little brother was *so* excited to point out the yellow flowers to his older brother. And M (difficult child) says "oh yeah look at the weeds"...so little brother says upset "no..." then says again "look at the yellow flowers M!" and M says "look at the weeds. " And little brother gets upset....And I know that hubby and I are supposed to understand that this is some how part of his diagnoses...but dear god I just can't bring myself to accept that this mean spirit is part of it. The other stuff I get, but this part where he goes out of his way to just fight or be mean, how is that part of any diagnoses? difficult child does this to everyone, a lot. I get so anxious taking him out in public or having him around other kids, because of this need to passively upset people. Another example, he is playing with a girl that says "look at my new shoes!" (and they are pink sneakers) M waits a minute then says "Your shoes look old. You should get new ones"....oh my god, and these "comments" are frequent enough that I just can't nagivate them properly with other parents, and people stop letting their kids play with him. In a group he naturally falls in with the bullies and mean kids that the nice kids don't want to be around. The nice kids don't stick around him for long because of this attitude. And I don't like the kids he ends up talking with, because they are the ones that are throwing rocks at others for fin and calling names. But they seem to be the only ones that will hang around and put up with his comments without getting hurt by them. He started clonidine 0.1 mg about a month ago and his dose was just increased tonight to 1 1/2 pills, 0.15 mg, because he is waking up at night. He's not as explosive, but the medication hasn't touched this passive-aggressive streak...its like he likes upsetting people. He not stating facts, its not like the girls shoes looked old, he just says this to do...I don't know what!! But it has me and my husband at our wits end. I just needed to vent. How is this part of his diagnoses??!? I have met other kids on the spectrum that don't have this need to hurt others so passively. The doctor thinks it might be a compulsive thing...of all the compulsions, why is his to fight and say hurtful things??! What kind of a compulsion is that? How the heck do we address it? When ever we try to explain it the the doctor she thinks its a compulsion, in otherwords its not going away. Well even if it is a compulsion (to be mean) it comes off as a though he's a very cruel child and it is severly impacting our home life and school. Though he is not loud or disruptive at school or a disciline problem, he's quiet about the behavoir, is very under the radar, so the teachers are "working with him" as they put it, but they are not that concerned because he's not the kid that is yelling out in class or hitting people. Its an easy behavior to get swept under the carpet in a class full of kids, especially when some of them are more of an in your face kind of problem, know what I mean? Does anyone have any advice, experience, anything!?!?! Please!!