Php wants to keep difficult child till April or May

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rdland, Jan 31, 2012.

  1. rdland

    rdland New Member

    I am just floored about this. difficult child started at this php the week before Christmas because I school district claims they cannot give him the resources he needs. To remind everyone that the sd showed up at our intake appointment when difficult child and myself were both sick to go over his IEP and did not tell me they were coming. I had agreed to the intake appointment even though we were sick because we "should" have only been there an hour or so and I knew we could go home and rest afterwards. They showed up unannounced. I agreed to the php program as a temporary solution where I knew he would be seen by psychiatrist a couple times a week and we could do any medication changes quickly. I was thinking 4-6 weeks then back to sd.

    So I asked therapist how much longer they anticipate difficult child there last week and was told till April or May. Since hearing that I have been stewing this over on what to do next. He was made some really wonderful improvements their and I am very happy with all they are doing for him. A couple weeks ago they upgraded him from an acute classroom where those in acute crisis are placed and has 5 or 6 kids so more one on one attention to now in a "regular" classroom. (as regular as php call can be!) they have adjusted the daytrana and added remeron because he was very depressed at times. The medications seem to be helping a lot. He has better impulse control, he is not saying he should never have been born any more, he is more focused in the classroom, raises his hand to talk, stays in his seat and so on. They say he still needs to work on interacting with other kids as he still says mean things and is not always appropriate interacting with them.

    Though I am pleased with the program I am also concerned because frankly there is very little actual school work being done. He is very advanced in reading, spelling so I know he will be fine with that but I am concerned about the other subjects and him falling way behind. I can see "maybe" another month there but not as long as they say. I have been going back and forth on whether to leave him there or take him out sooner than they say he needs. On one hand it is pure heaven to not worry every time the phone rings that it is the sd suspending him or just reporting another bad day but that is not enough to keep him there. He will end up being there 1/2 the school year. I just don't know how to proceed with this right now and which option is best for difficult child. I keep going back and forth in my mind about it but I am not sure what to do??? The sd never even tried to initiate interventions at the school to help him. They just said in his initial IEP that this was what they felt should happen. Other than giving hima para educator for 2 months nothing else was tried. I don't know if I pull him out of php will sd cause him to slide back into his old behaviors and make things worse? I don't want to pull him out and end up having to put him back in in a few weeks. I want this to be the last time he needs to be there. I just don't know what to do! I will say that even though sd pushed us to do the php I only agreed because I felt it was a good temporary option. The final decision was made by husband and myself and not sd.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    He's 6? The only subjects that matter at all at that age, are reading, writing, and basic arithmetic.
    You said he's ahead in reading.
    Where's he at with writing and math?

    Also, at that age, it doesn't take long to catch up.
  3. rdland

    rdland New Member

    He is ok at math but he has to work on it. His writting is very good also. It is not just the school work that bothers but to me this seems like a very long time for a 6yr old ( almost 7yr old) to be in this program. We never anticipated him being there 1/2 the school year.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't worry to much about the school work part of it. He will catch up quickly.
    Your other concern is valid, though... that is where the focus should be.
    I don't have direct experience with php... others may be able to help with that.
  5. myeverything04

    myeverything04 New Member

    I know this may sound hard, but I would be greatful for the php. As far as I know, our school district doesn't even offer this, and if they do, no one ever offered it to us. We were told point blank by the SD's phychologist that the person who diagnoses our difficult child with dyslexia diagnoses EVERYONE with it so it means nothing!

    I understand your concern about not wanting to pull him out and then have to put him back in... I would let him stay until April or May. He is improving and with the summer coming after that, he will have time to catch up on what you feel he has missed. It would be a blessing to have difficult child in a class with only 5-6 students :)
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  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I also don't have experience with php's but if they are caring for him well, he is making progress in his problem areas and he is not traumatized by the experience I "think" you're probably fortunate to have this intervention. The school districts frequently aren't equiped to provide enough help. Others will be along who have had php placements and I'm sure their input will be more valuable than mine. Just wanted you to know that your post was read with caring. DDD
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Honestly I would keep him in the PHP. You can always have him tutored over the summer and test back into second grade if he is left behind which I sincerely doubt will happen. Right now his mental health takes precidence over his education. The longer he is there at the PHP the stronger he will become. The stronger he i,s the better he wil transition back into the SD. Nothing wrong with taking things slow. Heck we just did a full three months leave with my grown son to be sure he would have the best opportunity to be successful when he returned to his normal life.
  8. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Wow. I can't believe that you even have a PHP program that takes children that young, and that your SD supports it. You are very lucky. I had to pull my difficult child out of 9th grade this year for 2 weeks for her PHP. I was stalling in putting her in the program because of the program, and I made the wrong choice. She is still failing but her mental health is much improved. I should have put her in the program in November. That being said, I would leave him there until they say he is ready to go. He will be able to make up the work. At his age, he will not be behind. And, if for some reason he is behind you will have the summer to catch him up.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I really can't say if he should stay but I would be asking what their goals are, how they are planning on getting him there and then if he is going to go back to the school I would make sure a positive behavior plan that matches what is working at the hospital but adapted for the school is being written into his IEP. IF he is going to stay till may then he might as well stay the whole year and have a natural new start by going to ESY and then the new school year though.. dont you think? If he can have two months it might be worth it but only one??? seems silly to go to a new school for that short of a time when the last two weeks can be pretty useless anyway.
  10. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    If he were sick with pneumonia and in the hospital would you take him home before the doctors said that it was okay to do so? It sounds like he is doing well there and making real progress. Does he seem happy there? How is he when you go to see him? If it is helping him I think I would let him stay there if I were in your shoes. Get him steady and ready to be able to face the demands of going back to school. At this age it should not be hard for him to catch up on his reading and math, even if they have to offer him some extra help or tutoring.

    Good luck.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Argh, so sorry they showed up unannounced.
    Still, he is making progress and I would stick with-that and deal with-the schoolwork later. I agree with-the others here, that kids that age catch up very quickly. You've noticed that he is doing much better with-his behaviors and speaking from one whose son is now 15, I can't tell you how important that is in the long run. Create those successful patterns now, while you can.
    I hope you can come to terms with-that and find some peace with-it.
  12. rdland

    rdland New Member

    This is a partial hospitalization program where he goes there instead of his regular school. He is only there during school hours and comes home. He likes it but asks all the time when he goes back to his regular school. Of course I want him to get help. He is in a classroom with kids 6-11 years old and he is constantly telling us all the bad words the other kids say. I am not one to shield him from swear words but hearing them every day does concern me.

    It really isn't the school work that bothers me. There is only a small part of me that was considering taking him out in a month. He has met all of their goals but one interacting with peers and even with that one I was told yesterday they noticed improvements the last couple days. My concern is there really isn't enough to work on to keep him another 3 or 4 months. I am concerned he is going to get very bored as he already comments it is too easy. His daily sheets have been 100 out of 100 point possible for 2 weeks now meaning they are not seeing any behaviors to mark him down on.

    We will keep him there the whole time as long as they define new goals for things that are appropriate and work on further improvement. I am meeting them next week to discuss his progress. I don't want him going back to sd too quickly but I also don't want him there if he will not get anything more from it. 3 or 4 months is a long time and I just need to see in another month why they feel he needs to stay. We will just take it one month at a time and go from there. It was just a big shock to us to hear that long when original plan was 4-6 weeks. If they can show he needs to stay that entire time I will certainly agree and continue to go forward with the program.
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I was just wondering. Do they have "travel teachers" via the school district who might supplement the educational staff at the Php if his work assignments are at too low a level? As a parent who has lived through problems "interacting with peers" I think training via the Php staff will likely serve him very well for the future. Social skills training can make regular school doable and prevent future problems with teachers and administrators in the system. Waiting a month sounds like the "right" choice. You are very wise. Hugs DDD
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    that sounds really reasonable. If they dont have much to offer except more of the same and he has achieved it then it only makes sense to plan for a transition and to make sure that the school is up and ready for him to go back and use the skills he learned. i would want him with less of that too, but mine learned his swear words from a setting like that and now they never go away... your son might be totally different than that.
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    At 6 social skills are far more important than math. You can do fun, easy, math projects at home this summer and he will catch up fast. There are lots of m&m, oreo, etc.... math books and honestly, kids learn math a LOT faster and better from that than from worksheets.

    Our school was flabbergasted when I calledWiz in sick one day because he had been up until4 figuring out multiplication. He was in first grade. He was SHOCKED when the idiots told him he wasn't old enough to do multiplication. So was I.

    As long as you provide some help at home,he is young enough that it won't be a big deal IF they have stuff for him to learn on social stuff.