piDo you ever regret thinking out loud around difficult child?

[loricbme]

Geez. I am going insane. difficult child and I went grocery shopping today and the drive-in theater is next door. I mentioned to her what movies were showing and she said, "can we go?" I told her I'd have to think about. Just wasn't sure. I wish I had never mentioned it!!!!!! It is making me crazy how she keeps asking me over and over and over again if we can go and would I think about it. I told her if she was going to keep pushing for a definite answer it would be a definite NO.

Does anyone else have a problem with this? I usually try to not tell her about anything fun I have planned until the day of or within a couple of hours of doing it.

 

[Wiped Out]

Oh yeah-we usually wait until we know for sure we are doing something before we mention it to difficult child. Otherwise, he will drive us crazy!!!!!!!!

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

I HATE this dilemma.

Do I protect my delicate little flower from disappointment for the rest of her life? Or do I do everyone within earshot a favor and not tell her that anything will happen until 2 seconds before it happens?

Am I doing her a disservice if I don't let her get disappointed now and again? Or does it even matter? She is such a mess, will she ever learn? She does not seem to be able to connect the dots for any other situation. Is this one different?

Am I a horrible mother?

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[loricbme]

BBK -
You sound like the end of a soap opera! Tune in tomorrow for all the answers and more!

Another thing that kills me about difficult child is when she asks a question and I explain it to her in the simplest possible way and she giggles and acts like she gets it then looks at me and says, "I don't understand" or "I have no idea what that means".

So get this, (by the way I turn 40 next Tuesday) I say, "maybe we can go do this on the night of my birthday for something fun to do." She adds, "yeah and go to Chuck E. Cheese and Build-A-Bear too!" UGH. I can see it coming... can you???? Happy Birthday to me! LOLOL

 

[flutterbee]

Oh yeah-we usually wait until we know for sure we are doing something before we mention it to difficult child. Otherwise, he will drive us crazy!!!!!!!!

Ditto. Only then difficult child gets mad because noone ever tells her anything. I can't win sometimes.

 

[TerryJ2]

Double ditto.

 

[On_Call]

Triple ditto!

We have even gone to the extreme - if we are spending a day out with several activities, we only tell the munchkins what we're doing as we're pulling into the parking lot of each separate activity. That way, if the day falls into the pit, we just chalk it up to the fun we've already had and head home - no harm, no foul. If they don't know what we had on the schedule, they don't miss it if we don't get to do it.

We learned this the hard way over the years, because difficult child is so regimented and concrete. If plans changed, as they often do, he lost it.

He has gotten better about characterizing 'maybe' and 'somemtime' over the years, but it's still a slippery slope.

 

[mattsmum]

I deal with the same thing here. I don't tell him until we are actually heading there. He also doesn't do well with surprises...he HAS to know. For example, one day I wanted to surprise them and take them to a movie. The WHOLE way there he kept pressing over and over..."Where are we going?" to the point where he gets upset if I don't tell him.

Could be his anxiety...and need to control his environment.