Pimps and the NYPD (not the finest)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bran155, Mar 19, 2009.

  1. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    The last few days have been absolute torture, agony and scary as hell!!!! I got more phone calls. This time they were more specific and much more scary. I haven't slept in 3 days, barely eaten and can't stop shaking! I just don't know what else to do at this point. I am absolutely disgusted with the NYPD!!! No help whatsoever! This is what happened:

    I got another phone call Monday night. The same person, Shelly???? Still don't have a clue who she really is. She called and this time gave us an address where to find my daughter. She called and said that B is in danger, she is with a pimp and getting hit by him. She begged us to go get B. We are trying!!!! My sister was afraid to tell me about this call as I was still a mess over the last few calls. She came up stairs at 11:45 Monday night, as soon as I saw her face I knew! Before she could even say anything I went into hysterics! She told me about the call. I was sick, literally, began throwing up, crying uncontrollably and shaking from head to toe. I was scared to death. So as I could not even speak my sister called the police in my town they said to call the Bronx police as that is where my daughter is. You are not going to believe this!!! My sister called and explained the entire situation to the cop, that my daughter is mentally ill, in danger, has a warrant out for her arrest, that she is a wanted felon and we believe she could possibly end up dead. The cop said there was nothing he could do. I grabbed the phone from my sister, crying and could barely talk, begging and pleading with this cop to please go get my daughter. I mean I was whaling from my gut and pleading with him as a human being to please help me. I said there is no harm in making a phone call to the beat cops asking them to look out for my daughter. After about 10 minutes of listening to me in hysterics he HUNG up on me!!!! I was shocked. I called back and he DIDN'T answer!!!! I felt as though I was in the twilight zone. How could this be? How could that man listen to a terrified mother begging for help and just hang up on me and sleep at night? How???? My husband then called and the cop was rude to him as well. We just could not believe it. Aren't the police supposed to protect and serve. He said there was no crime being committed!!!!! We said, how do you know that? We are telling you that she is being hurt and that she is ill, she has a warrant, she is a wanted felon, that is a crime in itself. He just did not care!!!

    I was desperate. I started researching on the internet for anything, anything to help me. I called the Guardian Angels, I left them a voice mail and sent them an E-mail. (Never heard back from them) I was so angry!!! I called the abuse hotline for help. The woman was so nice. She took my daughter's information just in case something bad happened to her she could prove the neglegance of the police. She said that I can file charges against that cop because he had a legal obligation to respond!!! At this point I am so angry I could spit nails. I was so at a loss as to why on earth this cop would not help me. Who else was I supposed to call??? He actually had the nerve to tell me to go look for my daughter myself. I could not believe it. You know, you see this kind of thing on tv all of the time but you don't really believe this could happen in the United States of America until it happens to you. Anyway, I then called Internal Affairs, filed a complaint about that officer. The Internal Affairs officer was just as rude, he didn't care either. I said it is now 3:30 am, I recieved this call over three hours ago, my daughter could be dead by now and none of you give a damn!!!! I am still in shock!!!!

    So needless to say, we were racked with worry. I sent letters to the Mayor, Police Commissioner and my Congresswoman!!!! If something happens to my daughter, the whole world will know!!! I will be on every news channel and in every newspaper that I possibly can. I will sue the pants off of the wonderful NYPD!!!!!

    The next day the detective from my town who is working on my case came by. My sister (she is so great) typed up everything that happened and everything we attempted to do, all in order and gave the paper to the detective. He took picures of my daughter and a list of tattoos and piercings. He promised that he would go look for her in the area of the Bronx where this Shelly person is claiming she is. He also told me that I should file charges against that officer as he did have a legal obligation to help me!!!! He went down looking for her yesterday and is going back tomorrow night. Meanwhile my husband and his very big boss went looking for her last night and the night before. He didn't see her.

    My daughter has been calling me, she is denying anything happened to her, she swears she is fine. I don't believe that for a minute!!!! I just can't piece all of this together. It's crazy!

    My husband will be going to look for her again. And hopefully the detective will find her. It just amazes me from a human standpoint that that cop could listen to me crying and begging him to help me and he just flat out refused. I am still so angry!!!! If I can't call the police for help - who on earth am I supposed to call??? And I have everything documented. My sister printed out the phone records to prove that we did reach out for help. She printed out the email I sent to the Guardian Angels as well.

    I spoke to my daughter last night and she sounded fine. I begged her to come home, turn herself in and start to rebuild her life. She was on the fence. She knows that she has to, but does not want to go back to jail. I told her that she did not belong on the streets, that kids on the streets are there because they don't have family or they come from abuse. I said, you have us, we love you. She said she knew that she didn't belong there and that we love her. She said that she will call me today.

    This is just absolute AGONY!!!! I cannot take anymore of this. I have been doing so good and now I am falling apart. How do I go on? I feel as though my daughter is in danger and I just can't get to her. I feel like this Shelly person is trying to reach out to us to help my baby girl and we can't!!!! It's like I am banging my head against the wall. I am at a loss. I feel like we had the opportunity to help my daughter and that damn cop refused to do so. I will not allow him to get away with that. I will not let this go!!!! I am just so incredibley angry!!!!

    Any suggestions???
  2. AnnMarieTN

    AnnMarieTN New Member

    I have no advice, but wanted to let you know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers.

    What about a private detective? Could they help locate your daughter?
  3. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I am so sorry for what you are being put through. What a nightmare. Especially the police being so unresponsive and downright rude.

    Try and get a hold of yourself. I know it is so upsetting but you falling apart isn't going to fix anything.

    The facts are:

    Some unknown person named "Shelley" is telling you your daughter is in danger.

    You have received anonymous calls recently regarding your daughter being in danger.

    You have spoken with your daughter several times and she has assured you that she is fine. Apparently, she sounds fine too and not in danger.

    Your daughter also seems to be well versed in the street life. I know she's your baby and will always be your baby and you didn't raise her that way, but I get the impression she knows how to survive out there.

    Yes, your daughter has warrants and is mentally ill. However, she is an adult now and it is up to her to get her life together. Actually, it ALWAYS has been up to her regardless of age.

    A private detective IS an option and they can usually find out quick what is really going on. It costs some $$$, but maybe you can get some peace of mind out of it.

    I am going to send positive thoughts and some detachment Mojo your way.

  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm so sorry you are gping thru this. Who ever is behind it should have consequences for putting you thru this even if your daughter really is safe. I think the key is this Shelly person. Can you or your sister appeal to her somehow? If she's really telling gthe truth and wants to help your daughter, maybe you can get her to go one step further if she sees that you can't help her this way. If she's really the culprit, you need to find a way to get her found and caught.
  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The ineptitude of the cop aside (unfreakingbelievable) ... I am really suspicous of this Shelly person. She's putting you through torture, and it just doesn't add up, given that your difficult child sounds fine on the phone.
  6. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thank you all for your responses. I agree that this makes no sense and I am really questioning whether this Shelly person actually means well or is just playing a very cruel game with us. The fact that this person knew my sister's full name and cell number is what scares me the most. She also knows my daughter's real name. B is going by an alias because she is a fugitive. She doesn't give out her real name to anyone!!! That is why I am more apt to believe that this person is telling the truth or that there is some truth to what she is telling us. Like you all said though, my daughter sounds fine! I just don't get it.

    Dazed, I so agree. Whatever my daughter is doing, she made the choice. There isn't anything I can do for her. She is the only one who can change her life. She needs to help herself. I was doing so well with accepting that and detaching, but when I get these horrific phone calls it brings all of the emotions right back to the surface. As her mother, I feel the need to help her if she is in deed in danger!!! The sad part is, let's say I find her, I turn her in to the police, she goes back to jail and then at some point she will be released and do this all over again. I know that will happen. So, what am I supposed to keep on going through this forever??? I am acting on this only because of the phone calls. Before the calls, I knew in my heart she was all along putting herself at risk, I was doing well with detaching from the need to save her. Then the calls started coming. Now I am a nervous wreck. And I am very angry at her at the same time. I just have to find a way to get used to this as I know this is what my future holds! Thanks for that mojo!!! :)
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Bran - I haven't been on much (new baby and difficult child 1 is being a butt AND we've had strep throat running through the house!), but I spotted this and thought I should let you know.

    All 911 calls have to be responded to. If you don't get a satisfactory answer from the NYPD by calling the precinct directly, you can make an anonymous call to 911. Now. It might route you to your 911 office (unless you're in the 5 boros - then it all goes to 1 central location). If that's the case, you'll need to let them know that you're a 2nd party notifying them (you were called by someone telling you that she's being beaten and pimped).

    You also need to let them know that she is in immediate danger. Then I'd contact an investigative reported about the cops behavior. NYC is in the crapper right now, and can't afford an incompetant desk sargent.

    Keep your head straight - we're here for you!

  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    What does your daughter say about this Shelly- and the fact that she knows so much about your family? I think it might be worth seeing what action would be taken if you reported Shelly for harrassment? Is a phone number showing up on anyone's caller id? Would they track her down and make her explain herself if she were reported? If so and she really is telling the truth, someebody then has a live witness and more reason to investigate what is happening to your daughter. Or is that too much to expect from these cops?
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    And why isn't Shelly making a call to 911?
  10. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Nvts, thanks for that info. I will not let this go believe me. I am so angry at the police!!! And completely shocked by their lack of empathy!!

    klmno, that's exactly what I want the detective to look into. I asked him to get the phone records from this relay company to find out who this Shelly person is. She is our only link. And if this is not real then she will be held accountable for harassing me!!! I am waiting to hear back from the detective.
  11. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    klmno, My sister and I were thinking the same thing. If she is so concerned for my daughter's safety and knows where to find her then why isn't she calling the police herself. She can also do that anonomysly (sp?)!!! I believe if this is true then she is trying to protect herself but she can call 911 the same way she is calling my sister. I don't get it either!!!
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

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    THESE people do not take phone fraud/scams lightly.

    My advice to you at this point -

    Have your phone numbers changed.
    ONLY give your daughter ONE phone number either to your house or your sisters.
    Tell her that the phone number is unlisted.

    If you get these strange calls after that? Call the FTC again.

    Sorry you are having such a horrible time.

    I would ALSO and HAVE - said /done the following.

    Phone rings -
    Yes I'm here I have to tell you that this phone call is being recorded and traced for fraud.

    usually - you get hang ups and language.

    Sometimes they play with you - so you can have someone in the background say something like

    I need you to keep them on the phone -

    I seriously think someone is torturing YOU and possibly extorting your daughter. Tell her that you need to meet once a week until these calls stop so you can see her. You'll buy lunch.

    Something - ?

  13. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I am sorry that you are going through this....and I don't mean to sound un-supportive here....but I am not sure that you can fault the police for not rushing off to find your daughter. You reported suspicious phone calls. The police do not usually hunt down the person that is the SUBJECT of the call.

    You have no evidence of anything....other than the fact that you are receiving mysterious phone calls. And I don't think that police personnel should be sent off on a wild goose chase on the off-chance that an anonymous phone call to a third party contains a kernel of truth.

    If Shelly were really and truly concerned that someone was in danger, then she should call the police herself.

    Shelly might be a paranoid schizophrenic. She might really and truly believe that bad things are happening. But she might be totally out of her mind. And if she is a street person that your daughter has become friendly with...then perhaps your daughter is confiding in her?

    There is no way to really know for sure...

    So I am sorry that you are dealing with this, but I don't think that there is anything you can do about it right now.


  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs, you've already received lots of good advice, just want to lend my support.
  15. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thank you all so much for your support.

    Star, thanks for those links. I am going to look into that. I haven't gotten anymore calls, last call was on Sunday night, which only makes me more skeptical of this Shelly person.


    I get that, believe me I do. I am just so irritated with the police as they shunned me and showed no concern whatsoever. All it took was for that officer to radio the officers who patrol that area, to just be on the look out for this young girl. That's all I wanted. Granted this is probably a cruel joke but what if on the off chance it was true. Wasn't it worth checking out? I didn't want them to send the swat team!!! This area is a horrible area, a hotbed for drugs and prostitution, there are murders there all of the time, it is a very dangerous area of the Bronx. There are cops on every corner, they could have just looked out for my daughter. Given the fact that she is mentally ill and has a warrant out for her arrest I feel that they should have given me a better response!!! That being said, I know that my daughter is the only one who can help herself at this point. She is an "adult" now and there really isn't much I can do for her. But I think those calls were worth at the very least, looking into. The lack of empathy and the rudeness astounded me!!! I just am so angry that I was treated that way. And the detective who is working with me said that the cops had no right to ignore my pleas, that by law they were supposed to look for my daughter. Which only makes me more angry!!! Thanks for the hugs!

    Anyway, I haven't heard from my daughter in a couple of days now. I hope she is okay!!! All I can do is pray.

    Thank you again for your support!
  16. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    We will pray with you.
  17. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Bran - I do not mean to worry you more - and I am only going on a hunch - but I think this Shelly person is for real. I think she is also being abused by the pimp, but cannot call 911 because she is also scared for her life. She is reaching out to you, because she probably cannot reach out to her own mom. I do not get the feeling you are being scammed - I get the feeling you are living out a Law and Order nightmare.

    I don't know if you remember my horrible saga with the police and Hs death - but I am now of the opinion that many of them are hard, calloused, and inhumanely mean. Now some, have managed to see all they see, and remain empathic - but from my perspective that is not who I have run into. I have also filed a complaint only to have it dismissed. From my experience hating the police, filing complaints, lawsuits, etc., will do nothing. You need to let that piece go - and focus on trying to get through this as whole, healthy person.

    Have you gone to the dr to get some type of anti-anxiety medication? Just for now? You need something in my opinion to help you through these times of horrific chaos.

    I like the private detective idea. That is probably your best bet. Did anyone go to the specific address Shelley gave?

    I have no doubt that B will make it back to jail, where she will be safe for a time. However when she gets out, I would put her into a car, and demand she move with you to a very small town. If she wants to run from there, her choice - but living in the Bronx with all the violence and pimping and drugs she will never be able to start over without the temptation of hooking up with her old habits.

    So many hugs. You are in my prayers and thoughts.
  18. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Thank you Steely,

    I am also of the hunch that this person is trying so hard to reach out to me without being found out. There is a part of me that believes that this is a joke (a very mean one) only because my daughter sounds so convincing! But we are talking about a very good liar. She lies so well and sounds so good on the phone it is hard to believe that she is in danger. But my red flags went up and the bells went off in my head - BIG TIME!!! So until I find out otherwise I am going to try my best to get to the bottom of this and get my daughter to jail where she will be safe!!! I have not heard from the detective again. He was supposed to look for B last night. I left him a message today. My husband and his very big boss will be looking for her again, I believe tonight and tomorrow night. I would love to kidnap my daughter and force her to move to a very small town somewhere out there! We don't live in the Bronx, we live in Westchester County. It is about 30 minutes outside the city. I feel as though if we move, B won't come with us. She has stated that before. I wanted to move to Florida a while back and she flat out refused to come. Maybe once she does her time, she will change her mind, maybe she will want a fresh start. Speaking of fresh starts, did you get my PM??? I am so happy for you!!!!

    There are a million possible answers but my gut tells me exactly what you think Steely, that this Shelly is also in danger and B had at one point asked her to reach out to my sister. But I don't know!!! It is so frustrating and so very scary!!! I have been having nightmares, I can't get this out of my head!!! I have this horrible shaky feeling all of the time. I just never imagined it would get this bad. I always knew that the older she got the more problems we would have, but really, never in a million years would I have guessed that it would come to this!!!

    Thank you for the support! And thank you aeroeng for the prayers, I can sure use em!