MommaMella
New Member
Today we met with the School Counsellor, Assistant Principal, Drama Teacher and the School Resource Officer (cop on campus).
We "narc'd" on our own daughter, her abusive Demonboyfriend and his best friend. We told them everything we knew about the drugs/alcohol, physical and mental abuse Demonboy is inflicting on daughter and how the counselor we met with on Monday felt strongly that daughter is not safe in her relationship with Demonboy. We needed them to know so they can help us keep her safe.
Things that concerned me:
The Drama Teacher eluded to the fact that she knew Demonboy had a drug issue 2 years ago and this was not her first go around with him.
The School Counselor did not seem at all surprised by what we had to say.
The Assistant Principal at first was somewhat defensive of Demonboy because she is "working closely with that family on other issues" ...HUH?! (*later tonight daughter told husband that Demonboy is at risk of not graduating and so we think this was what she meant...)
The School Resource Officer said he didn't even know who Demonboy or the best friend were. *Uhm, they are senior students, in the school you where are working, with known drug issues...WTF?
BUT all in all, by the end of the meeting after full disclosure of everything we knew, everyone present seemed willing and committed to helping us in whatever capacity they could. We will hold them to that.
We picked daughter up from school and she was LIVID. Word had spread of our visit and she was told that Demonboys bestfriend was called into the office and accused of dealing drugs (*something we never insinuated nor was it discussed at the meeting. Only drug use was spoken of - not drug dealing because we have no evidence of such.) I think the bestfriend exaggerated what was said to him to make himself look cooler. It seems to me that teens nowadays are in a bizarre competition with each other to see who can be the most screwed up kid...the more problems you have the better... biggest loser wins? Boggles my mind.
Anyway, daughter was just awful on the ride home - hate spewing...but as awful as it was, it seemed oddly fake in a way...like she was trying HARD to be mad. husband said what struck him was a lot of what she was spouting off to us seemed almost verbatim lines from a movie he saw her watching the other day. After the hate rant, daughter casually came in the house, toasted her afterschool bagel snack and sat at the island reading her kids cookbook. The daughter that cant stand this house...that hates us, hates it here. The rest of the night she spoke very little to husband but allowed him to come in her room and sit on her bed to talk for a bit. He said she wasnt spewing hate anymore - not overly nice either but just seemed worried that her friends were going to get in trouble over this. She completely refused to speak with me this evening of course (I am enemy #1 - I accept that) but she was hovering a bit, lurking and lingering around where I was from time to time... even came downstairs to eat dinner (we sat at table and she stayed at island) and later played video games with little sibs while I was in the same room - none of which is particularly normal of her on a good day. She let husband hug her goodnight when he checked on her. Didnt hug back but didnt pull away. Am I crazy to feel like she seems relieved in a way ...because I think that this child is silently telling us that she actually wants - no - needs us to get her out of this mess with Demonboy because she simply doesn't know how to do it herself.
Also, this evening we also had the first contact with Demonboy's mother. The Assistant Principal arranged for mom to call us as she felt mom would want to know what was going on. husband actually took the call while I distracted the kids. He has a better chance of remaining level headed and calm anyway in these situations whereas I just start crying and then my thoughts are not communicated clearly. husband said Mom seemed very clueless and completely overwhelmed as she is also working through her sons issues from her perspective. He said she cried just like I would have. She said she had no clue about the alcohol/drugs but she has been dealing with his depression and anxiety for some time now. (Again, how does the school know for 2 years but mom does not know??) She would like us both to talk in person with her and also to include her sons "intervention specialist". husband said he thought we would be ok with that. I guess the Assistant Principal had told mom that we had already or would be filing charges against Demonboy (Something the Resource Officer suggested to us) because she asked husband if he would let her know what we were planning to do in that regard. husband said we had not taken that action as of this moment but to please be aware that our only concern is for the safety and wellbeing of our daughter and we will do whatever it takes to ensure she is safe.
Another scary, crazy, bittersweet day, that dare I say, feels like a baby step in the right direction.
Thanks for reading and for your support. <3
We "narc'd" on our own daughter, her abusive Demonboyfriend and his best friend. We told them everything we knew about the drugs/alcohol, physical and mental abuse Demonboy is inflicting on daughter and how the counselor we met with on Monday felt strongly that daughter is not safe in her relationship with Demonboy. We needed them to know so they can help us keep her safe.
Things that concerned me:
The Drama Teacher eluded to the fact that she knew Demonboy had a drug issue 2 years ago and this was not her first go around with him.
The School Counselor did not seem at all surprised by what we had to say.
The Assistant Principal at first was somewhat defensive of Demonboy because she is "working closely with that family on other issues" ...HUH?! (*later tonight daughter told husband that Demonboy is at risk of not graduating and so we think this was what she meant...)
The School Resource Officer said he didn't even know who Demonboy or the best friend were. *Uhm, they are senior students, in the school you where are working, with known drug issues...WTF?
BUT all in all, by the end of the meeting after full disclosure of everything we knew, everyone present seemed willing and committed to helping us in whatever capacity they could. We will hold them to that.
We picked daughter up from school and she was LIVID. Word had spread of our visit and she was told that Demonboys bestfriend was called into the office and accused of dealing drugs (*something we never insinuated nor was it discussed at the meeting. Only drug use was spoken of - not drug dealing because we have no evidence of such.) I think the bestfriend exaggerated what was said to him to make himself look cooler. It seems to me that teens nowadays are in a bizarre competition with each other to see who can be the most screwed up kid...the more problems you have the better... biggest loser wins? Boggles my mind.
Anyway, daughter was just awful on the ride home - hate spewing...but as awful as it was, it seemed oddly fake in a way...like she was trying HARD to be mad. husband said what struck him was a lot of what she was spouting off to us seemed almost verbatim lines from a movie he saw her watching the other day. After the hate rant, daughter casually came in the house, toasted her afterschool bagel snack and sat at the island reading her kids cookbook. The daughter that cant stand this house...that hates us, hates it here. The rest of the night she spoke very little to husband but allowed him to come in her room and sit on her bed to talk for a bit. He said she wasnt spewing hate anymore - not overly nice either but just seemed worried that her friends were going to get in trouble over this. She completely refused to speak with me this evening of course (I am enemy #1 - I accept that) but she was hovering a bit, lurking and lingering around where I was from time to time... even came downstairs to eat dinner (we sat at table and she stayed at island) and later played video games with little sibs while I was in the same room - none of which is particularly normal of her on a good day. She let husband hug her goodnight when he checked on her. Didnt hug back but didnt pull away. Am I crazy to feel like she seems relieved in a way ...because I think that this child is silently telling us that she actually wants - no - needs us to get her out of this mess with Demonboy because she simply doesn't know how to do it herself.
Also, this evening we also had the first contact with Demonboy's mother. The Assistant Principal arranged for mom to call us as she felt mom would want to know what was going on. husband actually took the call while I distracted the kids. He has a better chance of remaining level headed and calm anyway in these situations whereas I just start crying and then my thoughts are not communicated clearly. husband said Mom seemed very clueless and completely overwhelmed as she is also working through her sons issues from her perspective. He said she cried just like I would have. She said she had no clue about the alcohol/drugs but she has been dealing with his depression and anxiety for some time now. (Again, how does the school know for 2 years but mom does not know??) She would like us both to talk in person with her and also to include her sons "intervention specialist". husband said he thought we would be ok with that. I guess the Assistant Principal had told mom that we had already or would be filing charges against Demonboy (Something the Resource Officer suggested to us) because she asked husband if he would let her know what we were planning to do in that regard. husband said we had not taken that action as of this moment but to please be aware that our only concern is for the safety and wellbeing of our daughter and we will do whatever it takes to ensure she is safe.
Another scary, crazy, bittersweet day, that dare I say, feels like a baby step in the right direction.
Thanks for reading and for your support. <3