psychiatrist Visit

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Robinboots, Jan 13, 2010.

  1. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Yesterday we had issues. Found out GFG17 was fired from his job, NOT transferring as he said. Just one more straw on the proverbial camel's back. When he got home, I stood up and very calmly said:

    You will go to your room, right now. You will make your bed and clean up your cr*p.

    husband took the car keys. difficult child planted himself and would.not.budge. I went nose-to-nose and starting walking. He moved.

    Once in his room, I repeated what I'd told him. He refused. He tried to slam the door in my face, and I stuck my foot in it - had on my boots, easy peasy! He still refused.

    I started picking up things, dropping most in the trash can. Started going through his drawers, same thing. Found some interesting items: SIM card, not his; couple knives.

    Told him he had an appointment. with the psychiatrist at 8:30 in the morning. He said he wouldn't go.

    This morning, I opened his door, told him to get up and ready, that we were leaving in a few minutes. No response. So I went, alone.

    Here is what I learned today:

    CD, or Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) - no real difference, has little to do with age - 18 being the arbitrary cut-off, much like voting age, drinking age, etc. The first is more of a phase, the second is more or less forever.

    Some parts can be treated; some things the kid CAN help, DOES have control over. For instance, this morning, refusing to go - he was perfectly capable of getting his butt out of bed.

    Some kids have to hit rock bottom - like an alcoholic - before you can start to build them back up. Some kids have to go waaaaaaaaaay down that road.

    So, maybe this will help someone. I'm still torn. This sucks and is not easy - I can be tough, but then I remember something from when he was little or he does/says all the right things for a short time, and even if I don't cave, it tears me up inside to do what I have to.

    I've also discovered some things that he's apparently been telling others. Last night he had a girlfriend totally freaking out by telling her he was scared, his dad was beating him, etc. She was wanting to call the police. Nice. She hasn't learned yet.

    He's told others that an XGF killed herself; at least one friend has realized that he uses an alias online - in addition to his real self; they say they are afraid of him, that he's creepy and a liar - more descriptions such as compulsive and pathological. Even a paragraph on him telling everyone that he got busted with $100 worth of alcohol - presumably THEIR money, re a party. Says he graduated early from the military academy, the one from which he was expelled. Says his uncle is a US Marshall and so he can get away with things. On and on.....
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2010
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Oh Robin,

    I am so sorry that he is being so obstinate.
  3. maril

    maril New Member

    Hang in there. I relate to what you say about past memories and tearing up; it's hard to come to grips with the changes that have occurred and the stranger I have seen at times in my difficult child.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yep, yep. Its true that they have to be the ones who want to do the changing. There is nothing in this world that you can do to make them want to change. NOTHING!

    I guess I am fortunate that my son didnt go into a bunch of hogwash and make up stories about us. It wouldnt have worked anyway. We live in a small community where everyone knew us and he was watched constantly and everyone told on him so we knew what he did almost before he did it. He never could figure out how he got caught so

    I personally think the best thing to do when they get like this is to have them move out and learn what being on their own is all about. Life as an adult isnt all its cracked up to be.

    Funny thing happened with my son yesterday. I heard my own words coming out of his mouth. A friend of his got evicted from a very cheap trailer and my son told him flat out "you messed up. You cant come live here. I will take care of your baby for a day or two but you have to find your own way. Thats what adults do! Grow up!" LOL.
  5. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Amazing! I hear stuff like that too - when he wants something. ;)