Question for those with a military background...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Jun 16, 2017.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I have posted before that my daughter has enlisted in the marines. She is suppose to go to boot camp in November.

    She has not yet selected her job training field. Today she told me she had narrowed it down, but her top choice was "intelligence" and on Monday she is suppose to go to MEPS in a different state to test for it. I guess it is a difficult test where it checks your ability to decipher codes or patterns...

    Then, if she scores well enough to get this job, she I'll have a more thorough background check. This is the part that concerns me. Two years ago she got mad at a friend and took some pills. She came and told us, we took her to the ER, who had us take her to a larger town for a three day stay,

    She saw a psychologist for a while, who had testing done at a university, and we were told DMDD. She has had no legal problems, no drug or alcohol problems.

    On the off chance that she passes this test, would those other things disqualify her? She was probably 16.
    The problem is, she did not tell her recruiter...nor the medical examiners. Will this disqualify her if they find out and she never told them earlier?

    I really do not think the is something she would do well at. In high school, she couldn't read a word math problem and figure it out. But she does read other things and has a good comprehension. Math was her worst subject.

    I hate for her to do anything to mess up her chances to get and stay in the Marines.

  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    With her history and other issues, it is highly unlikely she will be able to get the kind of security clearance to be able to get into MI. Nor do I feel she is suited for it.

    It is an extremely high pressure group of MOSes, very regimented, and very competitive. She would also be under additional pressure, and yes, harrassment, as a female.

    She'd do better to go into one of the clerical areas. My husband qualified to go into MI (Army) and chose not to for the above reasons. His dream was to go into flight school, but he washed out due to a hearing loss incurred in a training accident in BCT.
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    That is what I was afraid of...I suggested she pick a field that would help her find a similar job in the civilian work place.

    I am afraid she is going to do something that will disqualify her from enlisting.

    So frustrating! She has a female friend who was also in the process of enlisting, but was told she had about a 10% chance of getting in because of past history. At that time, I asked daughter about what she was going to do or say if they asked about any hospitalizations. She said she wasn't going to tell them. I told her that might be fine for regular Marines, but not wise if she ever needed security clearance. That she could be dismissed for not being truthful.

    So what does she try to do...pick a training field that requires extra security back ground checks.

    Maybe she is trying to sabotage the whole thing... But I don't think so. She goes to the recruiting office often for extra ohysical training.

  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    She's just not being realistic. I'm seeing quite a bit of grandiose thinking on her part, actually. husband was able to pass the background check for MI despite an arrest for disorderly conduct (counterprotesting a Nazi march) for which charges were dismissed. It was talking to others in the field that made him decide against it. Their interest in him was that he already spoke fluent German and Hebrew. (This was Cold War days)

    They were not doing drug screens at the time husband enlisted. That started a year into his first tour.

    TBH, I have grave doubts about her going into the military at all. I fear she is going to wind up with a bad conduct discharge or dishonorable discharge, which will gravely impact the rest of her life.

    I think the comparative freedoms outside of duty hours, plus having her own money, are going to be her downfall. That's assuming she can even follow orders and "rules and regs".
  5. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    Its very very very very hard to get an dishonorable discharge I mean you must do something criminally for that to happen.
  6. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I am not worrying about her getting a dishonorable discharge...I am concerned that they may change their mind about her even being in the marines. She has sworn in...but not IN the marines.

    She had already discussed with me the fact that she didn't disclose all her past history. She told me as long as she didn't need extra security background checks, it would be fine.

    Then yesterday she told me she is testing out on a training area that requires extra security background check.

    I can't reason with her...
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    There are many types of discharges. Bad conduct is one. Sometimes you just dont make it through basic training and are discharged.

    The military requires following tough rules. It isnt a fix for behavior problem adults. It is a tough place to be especially if you dont like rules and disrespect authority.

    I worry about your daughter. Prayers.
  8. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Older Difficult Child just called...she had heard that there was no longer an opening for what she was to test on!! So she is sticking with supplies and accounting as areas of training after boot camp.

    If she makes it thru boot camp.

    I am singing the hallelujah chorus!!

    One less worry. Ksm
  9. TAnne

    TAnne New Member

    Speaking from experience, it's best for her to disclose the information and make sure her recruiter takes the proper steps to get an enlistment waiver. My daughter had a 4 day psychiatric inpatient stay at age 14 in 2009 after experiencing a lot of loss in a short period of time. She enlisted in the Navy in June 2014 and her recruiter didn't take the steps to get a waiver for this hospital stay. She went to MEPS, left for boot camp at the beginning of November with an air traffic control school lined up afterwards, and absolutely thrived. She LOVED the structure but she was also a military brat so she knew the process. About three weeks into boot camp I got a distraught phone call from her saying that she was being sent home. After pulling and reviewing her medical records (and they will pull ALL of her information) they determined that she "falsified information" by her recruiters omission and was being processed out effective immediately. She was sent to a unit where others were awaiting out processing, and flown home two weeks later on her own dime (they only cover bus and train tickets). It was an absolutely heartbreaking experience for all of us and she still doesn't talk about it. I just wanted to share this as a word of caution so you don't go through the same experience we did. Enlistment is still possible if she follows the proper channels, and I wish we would have known then what we know now.
  10. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I know someone who was discharged for not revealing a medical issue. It was very sad.
  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    It's sounding more and more like she's going to be "chaptered" (released during training).

    My husband had to get waivers due to having taken an anti-depressant as a child (a tricyclic to stop sleep-walking), and the arrest at the Nazi march. (He was counterprotesting).

    I don't know what they are strict about NOW, as priorities, I'm sure are different.

    husband enlisted and served mostly during the Cold War era. He was medically discharged in 92, after Iron Curtain supposedly came down. Now, with so many hot spots, and the administration we have in power, I'm sure criteria are vastly different.
  12. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I agree with telling them...but, I can't make her do it. I have told her. She saw that a friend of hers wasn't accepted because of some earlier mental health issues.

    I just see that she has put all her "eggs" in this basket, and her hopes of being a Marine could be broken.

    But, I don't think I should go behind her back and inform the recruiter. If she was seriously mentally ill I would. Both of my DGDs that we adopted has dealt with some issues because of their history of being removed from their parents and being put in foster care.

    I just hate waiting for everything to unfold... Ksm