I'd make the changes Marti recommended and send the letter via CM to the Superintendent, Special Education Director, and State Education Agency.
Re: homework. Actually, this should be addressed in difficult child's IEP. I don't recall the particulars of your situation, but I'll tender our experience.
We would spend hours trying to get homework done. It was a huge daily battle and impossible task. difficult child was mentally exhausted after school and his medication would be wearing off.
Early on, in ignorance, I compounded the problem by encouraging difficult child's teachers to send work home that he hadn't completed during class. I knew they had a difficult time and wanted to help, wanted difficult child to be successful in school, and wanted to teach him responsibility. It was a mistake. The more I did, the more I was expected to do. In short, our efforts kept difficult child from getting the help he was entitled to by law at school.
I finally asked how much time homework should take. At your son's age, the answer was 10 minutes. So, I required 10-15 minutes of effort from difficult child if he was up to it. If not, it just didn't get even an attempt. I'd write the time spent on the homework -- example: "5:30-5:45."
I didn't demand the sd do anything about the homework. But I did send a letter explaining exactly how it was going to be handled at home. Further, I let my expections be known: All classroom work shall be done during regular school hours, so don't send it home.
we have yet to do difficult child's IEP but it was my understanding that we could make sure it addressed what to do instead of calling the parents to take him home. that is something i made quite clear in our roundtable to get the ball rolling that they needed to find alternative to sending difficult child home. now i did not like some of their suggestions but there was no more talk about me coming to get him.
being new to this but having asked a lot of ?'s my suggestion would be to contact an advocacy group in your area and have someone up to speed in your state regs help represent your family with-the sd and the IEP.
i wish you luck in getting this resolved and as being a person with-crohns i can so relate to what you son is going thru with-the bathroom situation!