Things with my son (I don't think I can call him easy child right now) have gone from bad to worse. He's cold and distant. I've been excluded from his life. And it's hit me like a tidal wave this week. I've been burying it and it's come up, and I feel like I can't breathe and there is this heaviness in my chest. I'm throwing up and fighting tears. At the same time I'm angry. I don't deserve this.