At a parent's support group last week a book was recommended that I would like to share with you all.
Addict in the Family by Beverly Conyers .
I highly recommend this book and are several excerpts that I found especially helpful:
"...addiction can be viewed as a combination of two circumstances: physical dependence, or tolerance, which may, but does not necessarily, produce withdrawal symptoms, and obsessive thinking, which causes the addict's life to revolve around the use of alcohol or other drugs."
"He identifies behaviors that are typical of people with co-occurring disorders as follows: low frustration tolerance, lying to avoid punishment, hostile dependency (exhibiting hostility toward those whose help they rely on), limit-testing (normal in children but problematic in later adolescence and adulthood), alexithymia (the inability to verbalize feelings or ask for help), rejection sensitivity (an extreme need to be accepted), dualistic thinking (judging people and events as only right or wrong, good or bad, without accepting moderation or shades of gray, and the present-tense thinking (lacking a sense of past or future, leading to repetition of the same mistakes over and over again). .
Most of the parents I have spoken with about their child's addiction support these findings. Most say their child was depressed, anxious, or oversensitive before the substance abuse began."
"Each time an individual enters a higher stage in the process of change (going from contemplation to preparation, for example), understanding of the problem may expand, and self-awareness may grow. Even mistakes and relapses can lead to a greater knowledge that may one day translate into awareness and motivation necessary to make sustainable changes."
"The accumulation of experiences, many of them terrible, some of them glimmers of light, slowly built the foundation for recovery."
"When families help addicts avoid the consequences of their actions-which might be losing their home or job, going hungry, going to jail-the families are depriving addicts of an opportunity to grow. Likewise, when families are able to step back and let events follow the natural course, they are giving their loved ones a chance to learn valuable lessons. The phrase growing pains comes to mind here, reminding us that human growth often involves some pain. By letting their loved ones feel the pain of addiction, families are leaving the door to recovery wide open."
There are many many more passages I found extremely helpful and relevant. I hope those of you who read this book will find it helpful to you also.
Nancy
Addict in the Family by Beverly Conyers .
I highly recommend this book and are several excerpts that I found especially helpful:
"...addiction can be viewed as a combination of two circumstances: physical dependence, or tolerance, which may, but does not necessarily, produce withdrawal symptoms, and obsessive thinking, which causes the addict's life to revolve around the use of alcohol or other drugs."
"He identifies behaviors that are typical of people with co-occurring disorders as follows: low frustration tolerance, lying to avoid punishment, hostile dependency (exhibiting hostility toward those whose help they rely on), limit-testing (normal in children but problematic in later adolescence and adulthood), alexithymia (the inability to verbalize feelings or ask for help), rejection sensitivity (an extreme need to be accepted), dualistic thinking (judging people and events as only right or wrong, good or bad, without accepting moderation or shades of gray, and the present-tense thinking (lacking a sense of past or future, leading to repetition of the same mistakes over and over again). .
Most of the parents I have spoken with about their child's addiction support these findings. Most say their child was depressed, anxious, or oversensitive before the substance abuse began."
"Each time an individual enters a higher stage in the process of change (going from contemplation to preparation, for example), understanding of the problem may expand, and self-awareness may grow. Even mistakes and relapses can lead to a greater knowledge that may one day translate into awareness and motivation necessary to make sustainable changes."
"The accumulation of experiences, many of them terrible, some of them glimmers of light, slowly built the foundation for recovery."
"When families help addicts avoid the consequences of their actions-which might be losing their home or job, going hungry, going to jail-the families are depriving addicts of an opportunity to grow. Likewise, when families are able to step back and let events follow the natural course, they are giving their loved ones a chance to learn valuable lessons. The phrase growing pains comes to mind here, reminding us that human growth often involves some pain. By letting their loved ones feel the pain of addiction, families are leaving the door to recovery wide open."
There are many many more passages I found extremely helpful and relevant. I hope those of you who read this book will find it helpful to you also.
Nancy
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