I just want to put this out there. Others probably have already concluded this, but I really hadn't till very recent. Even now, I forget it when I should remind myself daily. We always say, "Our child has to be the one to do it. To change. To choose a different path. It's not in our control to change for them." Absolutely 100% true. However, we ARE also part of that equation in accepting OUR part. WE have to decide to change how we are living also. WE must choose a different path as well. One where WE stop doing the same song and dance with the child. Whether that's fixing, saving, bailing, etc. we can only help ourselves. Our child's behaviors cannot be dependent on our choices, just as ours cannot be dependent on theirs. We cannot point and say when THEY change everything will be better. WE must change ourselves in how we act and only THEN will it be better.