Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by amazeofgrace, Jun 18, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    My difficult child's are being relentless in the abuse department. difficult child I ecspecially is laying it on thick, he's miserable being stuck home on house arrest and he is being plumb evil! "Are you miserable yet mom? Cause it's only gonna get worse"

    difficult child II is not even close to being "stable" the clonodine is the only thing keeping him from going full rage. And the Dr is pushing me to put him on Lithium.

    Sigh...............I am so weary, I am beginning to understand how some Mother's eat their young, LOL
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I don't know how you do it! You have so much patience and are continuing to look for the tools needed to work with two difficult children. I know how miserable it is when our children think they have the right to decide if/when we need punishment and to apply it themselves. "I gotta take matters into my own hands" is what my difficult child says. If anything in their eyes is our fault, they think they can put an end to it.

    Calmly tell difficult child I that he needs to grow up and take on the responsibility for house arrest. It is his choice to make as to having an easy time or miserable time. This is HIS life and if HE will not get a handle on it nothing will ever be peaceful.
    This is a good time for him to make some goals - where does he want to be in 3 - 5 years and how can he get there?

    Hang in there. You have a strength that I am envious of.
  3. Christy

    Christy New Member

    And this is somehow your fault???? It is amazing how when a difficult child is unhappy, he/she feels everyone should suffer. Get away form the house if you can trust them home alone or lock yourself in your bedroom with earphones.

    Hope you can find a pleasant distraction from reality at least for a little while.
  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    No advice. Just hugs.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    How nice of him to care how you feel and how considerate to warn you of the future. He's lucky I'm not his mom because I'd guaranty that as miserable as I am he would be three times as miserable and as his behavior increased, so would my consequences.

    You might want to call his P.O. and see what consequences are in place if he refuses to follow house rules at home. It might be the "stick" to get him to behave, at least a little. You might also remind the little darling that you don't have to tolerate his behavior and could just as easily return him to juvie. It's been done before by parents whose children refused to behave while on house arrest.

    Sorry you are going through this. Hope you find a way to make this a little more tolerable.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry you are dealing with such miserableness. It is so very wearing when they are so abusive. Gentle hugs.
  7. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    They are relentless aren't they? My daughter gets her kicks verbally abusing me and my family. I think she really enjoys it and gets a sort of high from it. It is very hard to deal with. You poor thing, you have 2 of them coming at you. I just couldn't imagine having 2 of my daughter, forget eating your young, I think I'd kill em!!!! lol

    Hang in there and God bless. :)
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and some extra strength...I don't know if I could survive having two Miss KTs at home.
  9. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    and could just as easily return him to juvie

    sadly that is exactly where difficult child I wants to be! He though it was the best thing that could happen to him!!!
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. this just stinks. Call the PO, tell him what difficult child 1 said, ask what happens if you call and have the cops come get him?

    If ANY violence to you or the other difficult child happens, CALL the police and press charges. It really is your only option right now. House arrest seems to be the most idiotic form of punishment for our difficult children. It only seems to punish the rest of the family.

    You don't deserve this abuse, and will have to get the PO to intervene to get it to stop.

    I am not sure how old he is, or your other difficult child. Could you add their ages to your signature?? It would help us offer suggestions (or at least it would help me).


  11. I am so sorry you are having problems. I send you big hugs.

    I just don't understand difficult child's when they think it's our fault. I get that too - "If you wouldn't have done such and such Mom" or the "If you would have let me do such and such..." Huh? Did I tell you to blow up and do _____?

    difficult child I wants juvie? That I definitely don't get, but perhaps you should find out for him what that exactly means.

    Good luck and big hugs!

  12. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    my difficult child's are 17 and 11, I have left it out of the sig because hopefully when s2BX gets out of rehab he will not figure out who I am. We'll see if he even remembers this site. 7/7 is coming too soon for me :O(
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ok I have a question. Number 1 wants to go to juvie instead of being on house arrest right? Why? How long is he supposed to be on house arrest for? How long was he in juvie for before they sentenced him to house arrest?

    I have a theory here...bear with me. If he was only in detention for a short time then he didnt get a good example of what it is like. Also...I dont know where you live but in some states 17 is considered an adult and 17 year olds have their own wing of the adult jail instead of the juvenile detention center. Trust me...those teens would give their eye teeth for house arrest.

    If his time at juvy is longer than his house arrest time...then call the PO and have them take him back. If his juvy time would be longer than the time that he was there before...have them take him back. If you can...ask them to take him to a harsher detention center. I know...that goes against our grain as loving mommy's but he wants to play hard ball...lets play. Maybe call the PO and see if they have a Scared Straight program near you. Let him see what its like when he gets to be just 1 year older than he is now.

    Cory is supposed to be starting house arrest in the next few days...when a box comes open. If he even opened his mouth to suggest that he was going to make me miserable because of what he has done...I would be on the phone revoking his house arrest privileges so fast his head would spin. He would spend the next 14 to 18 months in the state pen.

    My your son...did the crime. They get to be punished...not us.
  14. Steely

    Steely Active Member


    I know we have discussed this before, but refresh my memory.....why do you not want difficult child 2 on Lithium?
    It is one of the only tried and true medications for bi-polar........been around longer than any other medication.
    I know, yadayada...........:tongue:
    Still I would hate for you to rule out this medication if it really will help him. It changed our world.