Remember the treatment/discharge plan....

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
we worked so hard to put together. Well, I saw it in action last night.

kt was in a major rage (not meltdown); all over something that was testing the limits with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker. While I was ready to step in, Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker turned to me & said "this is my job, when she's calm you're welcome to step in. If I say call crisis team, please just do it."

What a relief. I'm trying hard to allow others to take on the negatives with kt so I can have some of the positives of parenting that hasn't happened very often.

It goes against my grain to do "just half the job", if you know what I mean.

And given the level of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kt has been diagnosis'd with, it's the right way to go. We need to build on the positives of the parenting relationship.

Slowly, I will step in with the negatives once again.

I practiced piano while kt was in the midst of her rage & was able to comfort & nurture kt when she had calmed.

This morning kt told me that she doesn't like the workers here. Oh well, she's getting older & she needs this level of intervention; especially if we want to have her live here successfully.

It was so hard to step back last night.

Thanks for the ear.


Well-Known Member
Phew/Whew! I was anticipating that the plan did not work. It
sounds like that is how it should work...and it did! Hugs. DDD


(the future) MRS. GERE
That is such good news, Linda. I love it that someone else handled the upheaval and you were able to reap the benefits of the plan working correctly. It will be interesting to see if this has any long term affect on kt's Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).



timer lady

Queen of Hearts
This definitely isn't the "norm" in parenting. But if it works, husband & I are going to go with it.

We're looking for long term results - for kt's functionality & for our parental relationship.


New Member
It's got to be hard to have "outsiders" in your home...for all of you...but it sounds like the plan is working!!!! I'm so happy to hear that! :smile:


New Member
Linda, what a great plan that is in place for KT! Wow! I love how you talked about the big picture, the future. That, to me, is the hardest thing to keep in perspective when life is roaring...keeping the now behavior in one place with the goal being how it all fits into the future/big picture. I get goose bumps thinking about this plan for you and KT because it allows you to step in with- the nurturing. I really respect the way your team has met and discussed and tried new things, looking for things that work towards the big picture. I know for us, the team is so very important. Thank you for sharing this.

OMGoodness, Linda! That was so warrior Mom of you! Way to go!! I bet that was so hard.

I cannot imagine having to stay out of it when Aly is in the midst of a meltdown. Had one last night and husband was trying to cope with it himself and I just had to get involved. He was talking to her too much, she was not hearing him and he was getting angry, adding to her anxiety, etc. It got ugly and had to call crisis team. Got someone new, ugh! But she turned out great and was able to talk Aly down on the phone. Whew/phew! All over some stupid baby doll she had seen on an outing with therapist. She held it together till therapist left then totally went berzerko.

Oh well, sorry to vent on your post!!!!

I am so proud of you for being able to step back and let Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker deal with it. Sorry that you had to!

Hugs to you,


Active Member
I'm sure it was hard to sit back and not do anything, but that is terrific! Sounds like a perfect arrangement. You got to come in and be a good guy for a change! That's great that the plan is working and you actually have someone who is willing to really follow through. Good for them and Great for you!


Active Member
Sounds like the plan worked, hope it keeps working for you and kt continues to improve. If kt doesn't like the workers there, then she'll have to realize that it's up to her to make changes so they're no longer necessary. Hope she's had the lightbulb moment. It's what helped straighten out a lot of problems my difficult child had - he hated the program he was in for school, and he finally had that moment where he understood the only way out was for him to change. Glad you had the positive, nurturing moments with kt, and not the rage parts.


Hey Linda - what is this "norm" of parenting you speak of? ROFLMAO

I am so glad the hard-earned planned worked as it was supposed to. Nope, definitely not the "norm", but as your quote used to say, "normal is just a setting on a dryer".

And it makes me, for one, feel good that sometimes all these things DO come together and work like they're supposed to.

Kudos to all for all the effort that went into this.


New Member
Our most recent TSS was this way, although he wanted me to watch him to learn. But I had no problems letting him do the dirty work LOL!

Good for you for letting the worker do her job.


timer lady

Queen of Hearts
The plan took months to put together & implement. For the time being we're seeing positives.

While it's very intrusive to have people in my home 7 days a week, it's what is needed for kt to succeed or at the very least maintain.

I agree, helpmehelphim, the team approach for our family is very very important. Hard to coordinate yet very necessary.

Just needed to share something positive with you all....who knows how long it will last. :smile:



Well-Known Member
Excellent! Wonderful to see the plan in place and working! I think it is great that Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker told you it was her job to get kt out of the rage. Awesome!
You are right it is not the traditional way to parent - but none of us are in the traditional role during a meltdown anyway!