Hello! These boards were a lifesaver for me when my daughter was a teenager. Through juvenile detention, wilderness camp, a group home...it was a chaotic and heartbreaking time. Now she is in her mid 30s with two children (different fathers, neither of whom have been involved with their kids lives). It's emotionally draining and stressful when she rages at me, and devastating to witness her do it to her children. Her Dad (my ex) enables her. He has no life and is an alcoholic; not surprising, given the vitriol he endures on a regular basis.
I have set some boundaries over the past several years. She no longer calls me screaming and cursing because she knows I will hang up and turn off my phone. But about once a year I am with her when she is triggered and am the target of her rage. The most recent incident was last weekend. We were all out of town for my grandson's graduation from bootcamp: my husband and I, my ex, my daughter and 10-yo granddaughter. I think she viewed her son leaving for the military as an abandonment. She ruined his one weekend to go off base and spend time with his family. She said horrible, hurtful things to my ex and I. I had to talk my GD down when she was crying and shaking wondering "why does she have to say mean things? It hurts!". My grandson is 18, and I know he will stay in contact with me regardless, but I worry about his sister. I am close to both my grandchildren, and do my best to offer stability to then whenever I can.
I am very close to having nothing to do with daughter. The only reason I stay in any sort of contact is my GD, but I don't think I can do this for another 8 years
I have set some boundaries over the past several years. She no longer calls me screaming and cursing because she knows I will hang up and turn off my phone. But about once a year I am with her when she is triggered and am the target of her rage. The most recent incident was last weekend. We were all out of town for my grandson's graduation from bootcamp: my husband and I, my ex, my daughter and 10-yo granddaughter. I think she viewed her son leaving for the military as an abandonment. She ruined his one weekend to go off base and spend time with his family. She said horrible, hurtful things to my ex and I. I had to talk my GD down when she was crying and shaking wondering "why does she have to say mean things? It hurts!". My grandson is 18, and I know he will stay in contact with me regardless, but I worry about his sister. I am close to both my grandchildren, and do my best to offer stability to then whenever I can.
I am very close to having nothing to do with daughter. The only reason I stay in any sort of contact is my GD, but I don't think I can do this for another 8 years
