Right?

[Wiped Out]

Honestly difficult child has done this forever but just recently it has been driving me crazy! It's nothing super major but often, very often when he is saying something he will end with the words "right, Mom?" For example he will be telling me something like, "I have really big muscles, right Mom?" or he'll be making up a story from when he was younger that has no truth except in his mind (I really do think he believes these things) and he ends with, "right Mom? He'll be saying something to me in response to something his sister said, and what he says won't be true or doesn't make sense and we still the the same ending, "Right Mom?"

He will even tell a story from at school when we have no way of knowing if it is right or not and he will end it the same way. Also, he expects an answer every single time, if you do not respond immediately, you will hear, "right, Mom" (or Dad depending on who he is talking to) several times until you answer.

At times he'll be talking to someone else and as if in need of support he will say the same thing.

I'm guessing he just wants to make sure we are hearing him (how could we not). When we answer right he is happy. If it is something that isn't true and we say no, or I don't remember that he gets upset. Often times I'll just say I don't remember it and that seems to work.

Like I said, nothing major in the realm of things, just annoying. Does anyone else deal with similar things from your difficult child (I'm guessing mine's not unique)? Feel free to share!

 

[totoro]

No, mine just constantly make noises!
Popping knuckles, clicking tongue, tapping fingers, humming, sucking on hair, moving all over, rolling on the floor.... ANNOYING things. Non-stop. Both of them, right!

 

[trinityroyal]

Sharon, I feel your pain.

My difficult child does the "right, Mom?" thing too.

He also does what I've labelled the "conversational gambit". They've been working with him a lot on conversation skills at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He's starting to get a handle on the give-and-take part of conversation, but he still wants to direct everyone's choice of what to say and makes leading statements.

difficult child: "Mom, you look very pretty today."
Me: "Thank you."
difficult child: "Mo-om."
Me: "Yes?"
difficult child: "You didn't do that right. You're supposed to say, 'And you look very handsome' "

And then he'll follow me around until I actually say those words.

Toto, I also get the assorted noises. High-pitched squeals, foot tapping, spinning, aimless picking up ad putting down of stuff...

Sigh...

 

[Kjs]

I believe difficult child is just looking for reassurance. My difficult child asks questions, then says "promise me?"

 

[Janna]

Trinity, your description of your difficult child sounds like my D. Funny ~

You know ~ Sharon, D does this at times. And J too. I am sure also, it's just the reassurance component. Maybe now, just habit.

And, as annoying as it is, let me tell you as the mom of a 17 year old that knows EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG, I'd rather have "right mom?" then a kid that constantly THINKS they are right on every subject and start debate

 

[Wiped Out]

Totoro-The noises have to be easier than the right! We don't get the noises so much but difficult child does the non stop talking thing a lot and whenever he is bored he does the drumming thing.

Trinity-Lol about the, "you look handsome" conversation!

Kjs-It might be the reassurance thing, at least at first. Now I think much of it is habit.

Janna-lol-I have a 15 year old who also knows everything-so much fun! difficult child also thinks he knows everything which is why he gets mad if we don't answer right to his question!

 

[crazymama30]

My difficult child has to have you looking at him and doing nothing else when he is talking to you. It is annoying, and not too productive. Then when he is done talking you are supposed to respond in some way verbally or he thinks you weren't listening. If you look away or finish doing something, like cook dinner, he gets mad, yells, and starts all over. Makes for some very long conversations.

 

[Kjs]

Have you talked to him about this? maybe he doesn't even realize he is doing it. Ask him if he can end his statements with something else, and then you can respond so he knows you heard him. Maybe without the "right" the habit will go away and the response will be less expected.

Just a thought. I agree, sounds like a habit.

 

[mstang67chic]

Am I right?

AAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am SO sick of that phrase!!!! Yes, we got it too when difficult child was younger. He still does it but not nearly as much as he did. Drove me insane. He also will lay on the couch watching tv and CONSTANTLY move his feet back and forth. It's annoying and distracting and I've actually sat on the other couch with my hand to my face as a blinder because I can't take it. Makes me want to duct tape him to within an inch of his life.

 

[ML]

I agree with KJS that he may not even realize he's doing it. Maybe talk to him about it and possibly turn it into a game/reward whereby he gets a carrot of some kind for ending his sentences before adding the "Right Mom".

 

[DaisyFace]

Hi Sharon--

My kids will get into conversational "habits" like that, too....

My DS is big on the phrase "Oh, and Mom...?" "O, Mom...?" "Oh, and Mom...?"

To which I answer..."My name's not Owen..."

It frustrates him, but also makes him laugh and it causes him to stop and think about how he is addressing me. He'll usually change his question to "Mom, can I ask you something...?"

So if he was making me crazy with Right, Mom? Right? Right, Mom?

I would probably answer "Left"....and see what happens.

--DaisyF

 

[Wiped Out]

Crazymama-Oh my, I bet those are some long conversations!

Kjs & Ml-I haven't talked to him about it yet. I will do that soon but he has been struggling with some other things so right now I've been letting it slide.g

Mstang-The feet thing, I think I'd want to use duct tape too

DaisyFace-I love the "left" idea! I'm guessing difficult child will think that is funny.