Sad Moment

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by graceupongrace, Jun 11, 2009.

  1. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    difficult child has been so angry & defiant the last few weeks. Yesterday I said to him, "difficult child, I'm not asking you to do this now, but I wish that sometime you and I could take a break and go get ice cream or something, and just sit there and have a few laughs."

    Of course he wasn't interested, but I realized that I'm not only tired of all the drama; I also miss the small tender moments. It made me a little sad. Does anyone else ever feel that way?
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending hugs for your hurting heart. I have been there, I think many if not most of us have been there.

    Do something special for yourself today. Even if it is just taking a cup of coffee or a soda outside to enjoy the evening (and fireflies if you get those in your area!). I used to go out and imagine that each firefly lit up as a sign that they had taken each bad thing, horrible occurrence, ugly word and tossed them out, never to hurt me again.

    It really helped to visualize that in the really horrible times.

    Remember, you are no longer alone with all of this. You have all of us to help carry the load.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh my gosh yes. I often told my difficult child I wanted to have those special moments again, but she was never interested. I had to take them when they came, spontaneously. She has always been unable to let her guard down and just enjoy the moment.

  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Absolutely! I take the tender moments with difficult child when I can get them. It is hard, I just want to enjoy his company and chill, he can be so funny and insightful at times but they are few and very far between. Understanding hugs to you tonight.
  5. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    Thanks for the hugs, everyone! Sending some back your way (((())))!

    Susie, we don't have fireflies -- wish we did! But I think I'll go for a walk or plant some flowers this afternoon. Sometimes a little bit of self-care can make a big difference.
  6. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    You are so right.

    I always say that everyone gets the "nice" version of my daughter except me. At home she is nasty, disrepectful, sullen, quick to anger, vengeful and just generally unpleasant to be around.

    And then a teacher will drop me an email saying that difficult child is missing homework assignments, but she is such a SWEET GIRL that the teacher doesn't want to penalize her.

    Or, someone will send pictures taken of difficult child at school, or at a relatives house...and in the photos she is smiling, laughing and having a wonderful time. My heart just aches over those pictures. Why don't I get to see the smiles, the laughter, the just having fun?

    It's no fun being the Mom....

  7. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    Yeah, you're not alone. :) I was just thinking the other day, that no matter how much "better" Sis is doing, I still miss the little kid that I taught to sing "Joy to the World (the "Jeremiah was a bullfrog" version)" in the bathtub.

    Not 'cause she was younger, but because I could just have fun with her without having that whipped-dog "when will the levy break?" feeling. The constant wariness is tiring, and takes just a little of the brightness out of the best of days.

    I'm with the others. Take some time for yourself. Or.....make brownies. Tell difficult child you made them, and to go have one. Then grin and walk away, before it occurs to you that a "normal" kid woulda said thanks. Sometimes doing something nice for Sis, even if she'd been a total brat lately, always made me feel a little better. Sometime she noticed and was a joy for a few hours, sometimes not. But hey, it helped ME. Oh, and then, there are also brownies, which make everything better.