School Meeting Yesterday- Lots of Guilt

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Nikki88, Mar 9, 2012.

  1. Nikki88

    Nikki88 New Member

    So we had a meeting with the school yesterday to refer difficult child for testing. Basically we spent an hour going over things that we already know with the people from the county. Then to be told that was to move her out of one program and into another- we will have to meet again to sign the release for testing. I am so frustrated- beyond words.
    The past week difficult child has been FANTASTIC with medications, getting work done, being happy, and generally a pleasant child. So now that we are getting her the services from the school that we have been fighting for (me and the school) and told that it can take up to 90 days to complete- so we are then into almost 2nd grade. UGH - The school has assured me that we will have things in place for next year. The Easy Child lead teacher also pointed out that alot of times when they see children that are falling behind because of behavior issues, and their is not a learning disability(which we don't know isn't there at this point) that they find that once the behavior is under control they find that alot of children know the material, and they catch up super fast. And the only thing she is struggling with is writing, so it's only one thing academically.

    And I feel horrible because I feel like if I hadn't been so resistant to trying medications, then maybe we could have corrected the problem months ago.

    So even though she is finally getting the services that she needs, and improving I feel like a craptastic parent :(
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    ((((HUGS)))) Don't be so hard on yourself! Six months ago, your daughter was six months younger. You were right to tread carefully and cautiously.

    The best you can do is the best you can do. Keep doing your best moving forward and take off those hindsight glasses - they are not very helpful if all they do is induce guilt.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    All of us do the best we can with what we know at the time.
    And... if you were to run a poll of all the parents on the board? medications are a real catch-22.... WHEN they work well, it's like a miracle. BUT... they may not work, or worse, there may be horrible side-effects.
    You did nothing wrong in being cautious!

    Trust me... if we could have had answers by the time difficult child was going into Grade 2? I'd never have come to this board. You're doing WELL in getting help early.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I agree. Don't waste your time or energy with "what ifs". The past is over and it sounds like there is real reason to have hope for the future. Cherish that and look toward all the tomorrows. Hugs DDD
  5. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Nikki, I'm going to second what the others have said. We ALL do the best we can with what we have and what we know. medications for young children are ALWAYS scary to think about. As a parent, we play the what if game a LOT. That is because they are our children and we want what's best for them and medications may not be the best. And just an FYI, hindsight will ALWAYS bring on guilt because when we "make a mistake" is the only time hindsight is thought about. I can't turn the clocks back. No one can. You did what you "thought" at the time was the best for difficult child, then you got "determined" and "educated" and "brave" and decided to try the medications. GOOD FOR YOU for trying something that you were scared of. BRAVO for trying them at all. Simply take the credit for it working. (((HUGS)))