so.....I’m just going to jump right in. My lovely daughter was arrested for something really stupid and spent almost three weeks in jail. My first thought when I found out was wow she’s never gonna get that baby boy back. Then anger. Then sadness. I guess all the stages of grief, even to the crying with my husband at a restaurant bar because my heart is literally broken..... By gods blessing and all the prayers, her case was dropped and she was free to go. Of course there’s still an arrest on her record but at least there’s no case. Problem is though there is are a few internet articles talking about what happened. So anyways that was last Thursday it’s been five days she’s been staying here. I basically told my husband she had to stay here and didn’t give him a choice in the matter because again, my heart was broken and I feel guilty that maybe I haven’t done enough or been nurturing enough or given her enough support so of course she had to do something criminal except that in my head I know as messed up as it feels to admit it, my daughter likes to be criminal she likes to bad she thinks it makes her cool and she feels like she belongs with the other messed up kids. There’s also that lack of maturity like I asked her did you even look up what the consequences of what you were doing could possibly be? Like what she did was a major felony that was five years mandatory..... like honey what is going on in that head of yours? She’s not on drugs besides weed, I’m pretty sure of that. I really think she’s addicted to misery. So anyways, she’s been here five days. She started using my fifteen year old phone to talk to one of the guys she got arrested with. She even met up with him over the weekend. She comes here today trying to mislead me with her crying about how she found a job but then they did a background check and read the article online and found out about her and wouldn’t hire her, but i know that she’s throwing up flares. Not only did she have my son talking to this criminal dude on the phone, texting back and forth, she also is telling me she’s doing one thing when she’s really doing another. One thing I can’t stand is having a sneak in my house I just can’t deal with it. And when I confront her about it she just doesn’t get it. She’s trying to cry to me about not getting a job because of her record and honestly I’m like that’s the least of your worries. Who you are as a person as human being that’s what you need to be working on. Trying to find a way to get back to your son. Trying to change and grow as a grownup. What is it with this child? I see everything that she could be and could become but she’s just a snake to me. Everytime I try to give her the benefit of the doubt she just proves me wrong. Then sometimes I feel like damn I’m so hard on her.... but damn if I’m am so hard on her then why hasn’t she tightened up? Like she really just doesn’t get it. She just doesn’t know how to act right and then she’s like where am I gonna go? Where look if your worried about being somewhere then why are you acting out? Why are you acting brand new like you don’t know what the rules are with me? I don’t know I’m guess I’m ranting a little bit. I want to be soft and nurturing to her and I think that’s what she’s looking for but she has taken that out of me and to be honest I’m at not the one whose going to let someone feel sorry for themselves I’m someone who believes in action and getting done. I had to raise her at 16/17 and I did it without crying about how hard it was and I built myself up into someone that I could be proud of and she’s older than I was so why can’t she do the same? I told her that I didn’t cuase her to be like this so it’s not my problem where she goes or what she does. I need her to start showing some strength and some mettle. Not throw her hands up in the air and why me. That victim she’s been doing ever since she found that it got her attention. I can’t stand a victimizer. Where does being a victim get anybody? Like yes you have a record yes the baby but guess what I’ve given you an opportunity and Yes you so t have a phone but how funny that you not having a phone and yet you somehow manage to get in contact with the guy you got arrested with.... Ugh. This child of mine I swear.