She said thank you!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Sue C, Apr 5, 2007.

  1. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    After coming home in a crabby mood from working 10 hours (and 10 hours the day before and being out the night before), Melissa went straight to her bathroom and proceeded to throw things around and fill the bathtub with water. (it sounded like the shampoo/conditioner bottles I had lined up on the edge of the tub) She stayed in the bathroom all night--never came out to eat dinner. We went to bed and she was still in there.

    This morning she got up and said she had no clean jeans to wear and why did I put all her laundry in the laundry basket. I told her it was time for the bathroom to be clean and I explained that I put all her makeup in a little plastic bin under the sink in the cupboard and put her lotions, etc in the medicine cabinet. She said THANKS! I about fainted!!! This surely was a "wowzers" moment!

  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Hopefully someday she can say it before throwing things around and wanting to know why she doesn't have any clean clothes to wear.
  3. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Karen -- That is true.

    I went into the bathroom after she left for work. There was yesterday's clothes on the floor, a wet towel laying in the tub (versus hanging it over the shower rod to dry), makeup on the counter, and a couple things that fell onto the floor that she didn't bother picking up. I cleaned up the bathroom again.

    Question: Now is she just going to expect this of me every day?? Do I continue doing this?? It is so nice to once again have a clean bathroom and not be embarrassed if someone needs to use it. But now I will feel like I'm being taken advantage of. Or should I just think of it as that I need to keep that bathroom clean 'cuz it is the main bathroom?? I have mixed feelings about this.

  4. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Yes, she is going to expect this of you everyday. Did I forget to tell you that part when I assigned you the mission :rofl:

    To me I would leave her room to her. Don't pick up one thing in her room, just keep dumping anything she leaves in the bathroom into it. Maybe someday she will just decide it's easier to put the stuff in her room herself, or maybe not! But because it's a shared bathroom, I would just do it daily.

    Maybe I'm wrong. I just know my easy child daughter uses our main bathroom and often leaves it a mess because she's running off to school, then straight to work and she's a typical teenager. I just clean it up daily so others can use it. Somethings just aren't worth the battle to me.

    If she weren't working and was just laying around on the couch all day, I would make her get up and do it herself, but I guess because she's working I feel that is one battle I would choose not to fight.

    Just my opinion. Others may have others that prove me wrong :smile:
  5. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Hi Sue,
    no great advice, just wanting to say it is so nice to know there are other people out there struggling with the same sort of stuff! I feel like most of the time I am faced with these kind of decisions and whatever I do will be wrong or seem wrong. I hate feeling used yet if it is the main bathroom I wouldn't want to be embarrassed by it either. Good luck....
  6. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Karen -- OK, I will not expect a miracle that Melissa decides to clean up after herself in the bathroom. I will not be cleaning her bedroom, though. No way!!!

    Jane -- I hate feeling used, too. I must say, though, that I saw my sister recently and I had commented about Melissa not cleaning her bathroom. She said I know, when I was over in December and used it, it was pretty disgusting. I was embarrassed by my sister saying this. I can imagine what friends/clients of husband's thought!! (we just always said excuse the bathroom, Melissa uses it and doesn't clean it)

    So.....Karen, I am glad you suggested I clean the bathroom myself. Thanks.

    p.s. I always kept her toilet, sink, and mirror clean. I don't want you to think the bathroom was full of gross germs!

  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>Yay! for difficult child saying thank you. It's one small step. </span>
  8. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #003300"> i'd be willing to bet she dozed off in the tub lol.

    is this her bathroom or a common one. if it's her's i wouldn't tough it. if it's a common bathroom you wouldn't have a choice.

    sue, as long as you pick up after her she will expect you to soldier on.

    it is nice that she said thank you....would have been nicer if she'd picked up the bathroom after herself.

    </span> </span> </span>
  9. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Kris -- This is the common bathroom for the house. There is a bathroom off our bedroom, but I don't want guests walking through my bedroom to get to my bathroom (I don't keep my bedroom as neat as it should be (dresser piled full of books, etc.).

    I looked in her bathroom after she left for work this morning. Yesterday's clothes on the floor, makeup on the counter. But....the towel from her shower is hanging over the shower rod. One more tiny step.....

  10. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #3333FF"> aha! progress.

    </span> </span> </span>
  11. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Sounds like she's moving in the right direction!