I hadn't heard from K in quite a while......like more than a week. The computer makes it easy for nearly constant contact.......so that's why it felt like a longish time. So I dropped her an email asking how things were. Well, I asked for it. I got the biggest whiniest reposes. Her 1st reply said that she was mega down in the dumps because of living in a motel so long and no one wanted to hire either her husband or herself, that the school staff thinks she is scum because they live in a motel and don't work and treat her as if she's ignorant white trash. Alex was sick a couple of weeks ago and she told me the pediatrician doctor said it was pneumonia. She said when she sent him back to school when he was well enough to go, the school nurse sent a note home with him stating she believed he had asthma and needed checked by a pediatrician doctor because asthma can be a serious medical condition. And she also told me a few weeks ago that Alex had had an accident at school and she was taking him to the doctor to be checked for diabetes. Well she said the tests came back ok. But the teacher told her that the kids come to school stinking. And she said that is because Alex had that accident and was too embarrassed to tell anyone. Then she said that her husband had to get re-certified for foodstamps, supposed to be an every 6 month deal, and that their date to get them changed to the 27th so evidently they are without food.........and of course the food pantries are empty. And that her mother is driving her crazy being mean to them when she comes to visit. So since I'm practicing those detachment skills, I told her I'm sorry things are so rough for her over there. Then tried to come up with ideas for places to look for work. (for the umpteenth time) And even suggested she go back to school for something like nurses aide that doesn't take but a few weeks or volunteer so she can use them as a referrence. Her 2nd reply in response to my suggestions was that she couldn't volunteer or go to school because it is too far to walk. That she and her husband had already tried all of my suggestions but that she thought there was a "hiring freeze" there. And that she doesn't want to take her kids to the shelter because it is sooooo horrible with drunks and addicts and child molesters and terrible food........well, you get the idea. *Sigh* 30 yrs old, folks. Her husband is 44 yrs old. We aren't talking kids here. I've heard nothing but excuses for 2 yrs. Her husband has been unemployed since we got back into contact with each other. And they have been living in a motel that long, but most likely much much longer than that. Ages ago she was supposed to take Alex and Evan for their neuropsychologist evaluations.......all I got back was excuse after excuse of why the appointment either couldn't be made or how they had to cancel. The kids are always sick. Most likely from poor nutrition as she is cooking from a electric skillet...period. There are some days that I think K's purpose is to save her siblings from a similar fate. Awful, isn't it?? My kids find it difficult to talk with her because it's one looooong whine after another of why she can't do this or that. And they were taught if you don't like something you do something to change it. Well, K was too, but she was only physically with us several weeks out of the year. I just read those emails and shook my head. Geez I'm 46 yrs old and am in school with an unemployed husband with bills to pay and a house payment to make. Nichole and boyfriend are both unemployed and managing to still try to improve their lives. I dunno, evidently even example doesn't make it dawn on her that you don't just get handed the good things in life, you work for them. I know she sees all the things easy child and Nichole and even Travis get to do and all the fun stuff the other grands enjoy......because it's posted on their facebook/MySpace pages. And I'm sure it makes her feel bad. But she could have it too if she'd just stop making excuses and friggin' TRY! The 2 responses were a very very strong hint for me to ask her to come here and stay. She knows via facebook that Travis has come back home and that I was willing to let Nichole come back during that mess a while back. But I won't be inviting her to come here. I've got a long list of reasons, but at the top of it is that she was doing this same junk when she was here 10 yrs ago. (d*mn has it really been that long??) Her moving here is going to change nothing except she would be mooching off of me. No way. And no, won't be sending any money either. Yes the economy stinks to high heaven, but I am having a difficult time believing that neither of them can find a single menial labor job in 2 yrs. And at their ages.....c'mon, you know what you should be doing to make a life for yourself and your kids. I will never understand that mentality. I've always said she's the female version of her dad. Man, I couldn't have been more accurate.