My nonupdate
difficult child has been home for 3 weeks. It's gone OK. No news. No outward sign of substance abuse but no evidence that he's stopped using either. Everyone is friendly though guarded. When he is home, he helps out, is pleasant to aloof, does dishes, etc.
Lately, he hasn't been great about keeping us up to date as to his whereabouts or when or IF he will be home to sleep or even for dinner. Left on New Year's eve afternoon while H and I were out - didn't leave a note, didn't say goodbye to his brothers and did not return until more than 24 hours later. H texted him around 6 pm that night and he replied that he was out with friends, H asked if he was coming home to sleep and difficult child never replied. I finally texted him around 5pm on Sunday and asked 1) Are you alive? and 2) Do you plan to return home?
More of the same on Monday(yesterday) He asked H to use the car, H said no. Left to go snowboarding at around 3:30pm, I asked him when he would be home; he said he would let me know. At 10:45 pm he txtd to say 'they' were stopping to eat and then heading home. At 12:17 (17 minutes post 'curfew') he called, woke me up and asked me to open the garage door bc he didn't have the code. In my nightie, I opened it, waited for him to come in, he didn't and finally I got cold and went to bed. He came in the house around 12:30.
More of the same tonight. He left around 2, I asked if he would be home for dinner, he said he would let me know. I txtd him at 6:20 and he said txtd back that he HAD texted me that he would NOT be home for dinner but he forgot to hit send, 'sorry'. Texted him back to ask when he would be home and if he remembered to take his key. His reply 'yes I have my key, heading to 'Ds' to watch a movie, I will be home later.'
'Later', whatever that means. I don't like it, I don't like the feeling this latest sequence of events has given me…and wondering where he is getting the $ to do all these things.
Holidays were good. His gift to H and me was a card with an 'I'm sorry, I will make it up to you…blah blah blah.' He really liked his gifts fwiw. I did manage to say that night 'I hope you will hold on to your new computer and your new iPad… and I am hoping things will be better soon. These bad past 6 months do not overwrite 19 years of a good relationship…'
So, we have to have 'the talk' soon. As of tonight, I am not feeling hopeful and both H and I are really annoyed by his behavior. I don't know what it means. I feel like he SHOULD be on his best behavior with us and the fact that he is pushing the envelope lately is NOT A GOOD SIGN. It's bringing back memories of our summer and I am trying to remind myself that keeping the peace for the sake of peace=giving him control. BAH
He's not due to go back to school until the 20th tho he said they will go back soon for an overnight to check on the apartment and look for fall 2012 housing.
So there you have it…