Signorina please check in

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm anxious to hear if your son went back to school and how the talk went with him.

    I miss you.

  2. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Ditto Nancy's post.
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I miss you, too. Come back, please!
  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Me too..... I hope you check in soon. TL
  5. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    My nonupdate

    difficult child has been home for 3 weeks. It's gone OK. No news. No outward sign of substance abuse but no evidence that he's stopped using either. Everyone is friendly though guarded. When he is home, he helps out, is pleasant to aloof, does dishes, etc.

    Lately, he hasn't been great about keeping us up to date as to his whereabouts or when or IF he will be home to sleep or even for dinner. Left on New Year's eve afternoon while H and I were out - didn't leave a note, didn't say goodbye to his brothers and did not return until more than 24 hours later. H texted him around 6 pm that night and he replied that he was out with friends, H asked if he was coming home to sleep and difficult child never replied. I finally texted him around 5pm on Sunday and asked 1) Are you alive? and 2) Do you plan to return home?

    More of the same on Monday(yesterday) He asked H to use the car, H said no. Left to go snowboarding at around 3:30pm, I asked him when he would be home; he said he would let me know. At 10:45 pm he txtd to say 'they' were stopping to eat and then heading home. At 12:17 (17 minutes post 'curfew') he called, woke me up and asked me to open the garage door bc he didn't have the code. In my nightie, I opened it, waited for him to come in, he didn't and finally I got cold and went to bed. He came in the house around 12:30.

    More of the same tonight. He left around 2, I asked if he would be home for dinner, he said he would let me know. I txtd him at 6:20 and he said txtd back that he HAD texted me that he would NOT be home for dinner but he forgot to hit send, 'sorry'. Texted him back to ask when he would be home and if he remembered to take his key. His reply 'yes I have my key, heading to 'Ds' to watch a movie, I will be home later.'

    'Later', whatever that means. I don't like it, I don't like the feeling this latest sequence of events has given me…and wondering where he is getting the $ to do all these things.

    Holidays were good. His gift to H and me was a card with an 'I'm sorry, I will make it up to you…blah blah blah.' He really liked his gifts fwiw. I did manage to say that night 'I hope you will hold on to your new computer and your new iPad… and I am hoping things will be better soon. These bad past 6 months do not overwrite 19 years of a good relationship…'

    So, we have to have 'the talk' soon. As of tonight, I am not feeling hopeful and both H and I are really annoyed by his behavior. I don't know what it means. I feel like he SHOULD be on his best behavior with us and the fact that he is pushing the envelope lately is NOT A GOOD SIGN. It's bringing back memories of our summer and I am trying to remind myself that keeping the peace for the sake of peace=giving him control. BAH

    He's not due to go back to school until the 20th tho he said they will go back soon for an overnight to check on the apartment and look for fall 2012 housing.

    So there you have it…
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Sig it sounds just like what my difficult child was doing the year before we finally kicked her out. It was if she was trying to make the point that she was over 18 and didn't have to tell us where she was going or when she would be home. Just like your son, she would answer our texts if she felt like it, or was sober, and if she didn't we had no idea when to expect her. We also began locking the doors and we changed the garage door code so she would have to call us to open the door. I hated it, we were on edge all the time waiting for the other shoe to drop. And if we questioned her it would turn into a big fight.

    It's interesting that when you difficult child does come home he seems sober. I would wonder too where he is getting the money for all his activities. Have you gotten his grades yet?

  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    His behavior sounds like my difficult child#2. They seem to think that 18 is some majic number that gives them the right to do anything they want with no accountability. My difficult child#2 always had money too. I always suspected he was "muling" drugs, selliing himself, or some other lackey type activity though he never got caught at anything like that.
  8. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    So, we had "the talk" and I posted the update on SA board...
  9. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Ok will read it now