Marguerite
Active Member
About getting hassled by parents etc when you change schools - that has happened here too. Amazingly, it did not happen to us I think we were the only ones they didn't hassle, because they were glad to get rid of difficult child 3. But I also stayed involved as much as I could.
The problems were mostly from the P&C (Parents & Citizens) of the school. One of the school secretaries was involved and she was a problem too. Plus the had of the P&C (a bloke) and a couple of the other members. I avoided P&C meetings but had to go to one because I wanted money from them to cover my fuel for driving kids to a tournament. That meeting was about six months after difficult child 3 had left, and at that meeting they talked about the haemorrhage of students form the school; they had lost two teachers that year because student numbers had dropped below the threshold. They talked disapprovingly about the disloyalty of some people, not sending their kids to this local school to support it. I knew exactly why parents were pulling their kids out - the academic standard was woeful, bullying was out of control and the school did not do enough or do it consistently; the school discipline policy was barbaric and their only response to all this was to whine about disloyalty.
A year or two later a 6 year old Aspie kid and family moved into town. He was home-schooled, a bright kid who quickly found difficult child 3 and they sometimes played together. I spent time with the parents, we compared notes. But a neighbour of theirs (with a horrible kid who hassled the Aspie kid) verbally abused them for their disloyalty to the town, in not sending their son to the local school. How dare she! Those people, because of that, moved away again. They figured, they still had boxed they hadn't unpacked...
One more funny thing. I was driving "on the mainland" taking difficult child 3 to his drama class. We went early to do some grocery shopping nearby. And I saw the (now former, apparently) P&C mouthpiece bloke, the one who had been the main instigator of accusations of disloyalty, walking his kids away from the local private school. I knew it was him, plus I knew his kids, and they were in the uniform of this new private school. He had moved his kids! He, who had been the one to attack us! I so nearly honked and waved at him...
Words fail me (because of the site censor). "Ratbag" just isn't strong enough...
So it is no wonder bullying was an issue at the local school; the staff and teachers bullied parents as well and considered it justified.
one final incident - a good friend of mine moved her daughter to the highway school difficult child 3 had briefly attended. She kept it as secret as she could, but copped flak from it (including from the bloke I just mentioned above). She was telling people that the school move was possibly preparatory to a house move anyway (it wasn't). But because there were now so many kids going to schools on the mainland, a lot of parents were signing petitions to get a bus put on, for these kids as well as the high school kids (we have no local high school) as an alternative transport method. Although by this time difficult child 3 was no longer needing transport, I signed the petition. It seemed sensible.
Then a vitriolic email was sent around basically calling the petition self-serving and condemning all who signed it as self-interested. The email was unsigned but came from the email box of the school secretary's husband. Most people who had signed, backed off and recanted. They were scared.
I replied.
Although I was certain it had been written and sent by the wife (and not the husband) I addressed it to him as if he was ignorant of the issues. I told him to ask his wife about our family and about all the work I continued to do for the school, AFTER it had become vital for me to remove my child. I suggested that it was not a good look to get nasty about people who were only trying to help the community, and if the local school has problems that are resulting in kids leaving, that needs to be addressed first; to attack the kids and their parents was clearly symptomatic of why they felt they had to leave in the first place. I thanked him for his community spirit then said it was a shame it did not extent to high school kids too. Or did he not expect our elementary kids to ever reach high school?
I never got a reply, but when I next saw his wife (I was turning up to run my weekly volunteer chess class) she was as sweet as pie to me. So I was just as sweet back. I never mentioned her husband. I suspect she was deeply regretting her impulsive action.
Always stand up to your bullies, one way or another. You don't have to hit back. Words work too. often a helluvalot better!
by the way, these actions of adults bullying adults was never endorsed by the principal. A nice man, but weak. He let his staff walk all over him.
Also a big part of the problem.
Marg
The problems were mostly from the P&C (Parents & Citizens) of the school. One of the school secretaries was involved and she was a problem too. Plus the had of the P&C (a bloke) and a couple of the other members. I avoided P&C meetings but had to go to one because I wanted money from them to cover my fuel for driving kids to a tournament. That meeting was about six months after difficult child 3 had left, and at that meeting they talked about the haemorrhage of students form the school; they had lost two teachers that year because student numbers had dropped below the threshold. They talked disapprovingly about the disloyalty of some people, not sending their kids to this local school to support it. I knew exactly why parents were pulling their kids out - the academic standard was woeful, bullying was out of control and the school did not do enough or do it consistently; the school discipline policy was barbaric and their only response to all this was to whine about disloyalty.
A year or two later a 6 year old Aspie kid and family moved into town. He was home-schooled, a bright kid who quickly found difficult child 3 and they sometimes played together. I spent time with the parents, we compared notes. But a neighbour of theirs (with a horrible kid who hassled the Aspie kid) verbally abused them for their disloyalty to the town, in not sending their son to the local school. How dare she! Those people, because of that, moved away again. They figured, they still had boxed they hadn't unpacked...
One more funny thing. I was driving "on the mainland" taking difficult child 3 to his drama class. We went early to do some grocery shopping nearby. And I saw the (now former, apparently) P&C mouthpiece bloke, the one who had been the main instigator of accusations of disloyalty, walking his kids away from the local private school. I knew it was him, plus I knew his kids, and they were in the uniform of this new private school. He had moved his kids! He, who had been the one to attack us! I so nearly honked and waved at him...
Words fail me (because of the site censor). "Ratbag" just isn't strong enough...
So it is no wonder bullying was an issue at the local school; the staff and teachers bullied parents as well and considered it justified.
one final incident - a good friend of mine moved her daughter to the highway school difficult child 3 had briefly attended. She kept it as secret as she could, but copped flak from it (including from the bloke I just mentioned above). She was telling people that the school move was possibly preparatory to a house move anyway (it wasn't). But because there were now so many kids going to schools on the mainland, a lot of parents were signing petitions to get a bus put on, for these kids as well as the high school kids (we have no local high school) as an alternative transport method. Although by this time difficult child 3 was no longer needing transport, I signed the petition. It seemed sensible.
Then a vitriolic email was sent around basically calling the petition self-serving and condemning all who signed it as self-interested. The email was unsigned but came from the email box of the school secretary's husband. Most people who had signed, backed off and recanted. They were scared.
I replied.
Although I was certain it had been written and sent by the wife (and not the husband) I addressed it to him as if he was ignorant of the issues. I told him to ask his wife about our family and about all the work I continued to do for the school, AFTER it had become vital for me to remove my child. I suggested that it was not a good look to get nasty about people who were only trying to help the community, and if the local school has problems that are resulting in kids leaving, that needs to be addressed first; to attack the kids and their parents was clearly symptomatic of why they felt they had to leave in the first place. I thanked him for his community spirit then said it was a shame it did not extent to high school kids too. Or did he not expect our elementary kids to ever reach high school?
I never got a reply, but when I next saw his wife (I was turning up to run my weekly volunteer chess class) she was as sweet as pie to me. So I was just as sweet back. I never mentioned her husband. I suspect she was deeply regretting her impulsive action.
Always stand up to your bullies, one way or another. You don't have to hit back. Words work too. often a helluvalot better!
by the way, these actions of adults bullying adults was never endorsed by the principal. A nice man, but weak. He let his staff walk all over him.
Also a big part of the problem.
Marg
