Situational Update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Mar 30, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Katie called me just a short while ago. I'd planned to call her...but had been tied up with "stuff" and hadn't been able to call during designated hours. Actually I was going to call her this evening but she beat me to it.

    She and the kids will be moving into the hud apartment friday.

    Notice I said "she and the kids". M will NOT be moving in with them as he is not allowed due to his police record. Now gets somewhat strange here. She said the manager gave her a copy of the background check and it has like 10 other people with M's name (different middle names and bdays) as well as the one for M. Evidently the manager stated this is the reason he can't live there. As she expects katie to prove to her M is not these other people with the same first/last name. Uh, ok. It just hit me as I'm typing this.......because I've done this background check on him myself mult times over the years......I know what names are popping up with his name, so I know this part of what she's trying to explain is true. But I think manager is referring to his felony, not the others with his same name.....maybe she misunderstood or is using it as an excuse to calm M's violent temper. hmm Will have to ask about that more when I see her alone.

    Katie did state that M not being allowed wasn't going to stop her and the kids from moving into the apartment. M would just have to hoover it up and deal with reality. She and the kids weren't going to sit on the street because of him. She didn't care how mad it makes him. She doesn't care that the kids are having a fit over it.....they'll have to learn to deal too. She did ask me how she could prove those other guys with the same name aren't M....and I said if she won't take the different middle names and bdays as evidence it's not him I haven't got a clue.

    The determination in her voice when she said that surprised me. I've never, seriously never, heard her talk that way. Then she whispered into the phone that she really doesn't care that M won't be coming along. Hmm

    So I asked about her job. She basically told me the same as she told Nichole. (since I've been called by these people I know it's legit) But so far she's only gotten to work the 1 day for 6 hrs which made her 40.00.

    So I asked what her rent/deposit for the apartment will be. She had no clue. What?? OMG! Seems the director of the shelter knows the manager of the apartment complex personally and is the one that got it so the woman would accept katie and the kids without M. Evidently katie never gave a thought to rent, deposit or utilities ect. *slaps hand to forehead* I told her she needs to ask both the director and the apartment manager asap. :sigh:

    I told her she'll have to call her Dad to do the moving on friday. I'm watching easy child's boys until 4pm. Seems Alex's teacher put her head together with other teachers and school staff and collected up some furniture and household items for them. Katie will call her monday to see about those things. I told her she needs to ask if there is someone who can move the furniture for her. If not I might be able to talk sister in law into it.....we'd have to see as these two aren't his favorite people.

    I did tell her that we'd take her to Aldi's this weekend to grocery shop because she'll be starting from nothing and that is so expensive to do. I have no clue what she's going to do for personal hygiene items and things such as toilet paper ect. I'm NOT buying it, I can't afford to. But that is her problem, ought to be enough of an issue to motivate her to find another job with more hours.

    I asked where M was going to go. She said the shelter told him he could stay in the men's side for a while. Don't know how long a while is, again not my problem. That man could vanish off the face of the earth and I wouldn't blink an eye. ugh

    husband's idiot ex, katie's biomom, got tossed out of the friends house she was staying at and somehow got herself back to St Louis and is once again begging katie to let her come live with her. So now everyone is being told not to hand out her new address. I guess this explains some of katie's thinking patterns. ugh :sigh:

    Katie sounded upbeat and downright perky, even when she was supposed to be "upset" over the police background keeping M from moving in with them. She said she feels like a mountain has been lifted from her shoulders just because they have somewhere permanent to live.

    Guess we'll see. If she gets into this apartment and gets herself kicked out there will be no returning to the shelter. It's either make it work or nothing. Maybe this is what she needed all along. Who knows. I'm not getting my hopes up for a dramatic turn around or even a little one. With this kid I'm at that place where I've got to see it to believe it.....and even then I may doubt it for a while.

    This whole felony thing with M may be her chance to make the break from him where it's not her fault or her decision. That's the way her mind works. She is terrified of confrontation so it wouldn't surprise me. But again.......I'll believe it when I see it.

    Looks like it's going to be a busy weekend.
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed that all goes well!
  3. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Hound dog....HOORAY! This is a real start. Who will watch the kids when she's at work? She may want to try getting a job in the school district, like a cafeteria worker, or even a substitute cafeteria worker to start, this way she'll have the same hours and days off as the kids. She won't need a sitter.
    I'm hoping M doesn't somehow ruin it for them, by showing up and "visiting" too often or something. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out for now.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Something else is up with M with that felony. If it is as old as he claims or for what we think, he would have no problem. Now if he has been kicked out of other public housing...YES! He cannot get back in. Maybe he was arrested for a felony at a public housing? That might be it.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I never found a date for his felony. It just stated it was on his record. But then I don't pay to have it done either so I don't get those details. I've never believed it was as old as they claimed. If I remember right it was for armed robbery/burglery.

    This is going to be an interesting situation. Once Katie is in the hud apartment, she's under a year's lease. If she doesn't "clear" up this deal with the manager over the felony, and attempts to slip M in on the sly.....she'll be turned in by neighbors just like 10 yrs ago and evicted. As long as M is staying at the shelter he has an 8pm curfew. If he doesn't meet curfew he'll find himself evicted from the shelter and no other shelter will take him. Their shelter options are over I believe for at least a year in this state.

    Welfare is going to take notice. I mean that would only make sense because katie can't claim that M is living with them when the manager will state he's not. So.......state will get involved. M will be required to pay child support or go to jail. Same options as a decade ago. And last time they managed to convince him as he found a job right away and started paying that support. And Katie will have to ask for support or lose welfare (foodstamps and insurance)

    Hmmm. This could possibly get very interesting. lol

    My guess is the manager has found a solid reason not to allow M in the apartments. Now wouldn't it get really interesting if he wasn't allowed on the property?? lol I know the previous manager refused to allow anyone with a known felony on the property at all and would contact police for trespassing.......she seemed to get away with it.

    Wishful thinking I suppose.

    My guess is that M is watching the kids when she does get called into work. She has no one else. And I won't do it because I just got finished watching easy child's boys........her new sitter starts next week thank gawd.......and I'm done with sitting. I've got to get myself to work. State would pay for her child care if she had real hours......but with this schedule she won't find a daycare that would take the kids.

    Nicest part for me is I get her junk out of my house! Which will make cleaning so much easier to do. yay!!
  6. Dandj425

    Dandj425 New Member

    I am watching your situation now as I begin our own with my daughter. I must say though this seems to have gone on longer for Katie than I would have expected with assitances. Seems my girl may have more chances than I thought to screw up. I hope things work out well with Katie getting rid of M. I KNOW that feeling!!
    Crossings fingers>X<
  7. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Wow! It does sound like maybe, just maybe, she's starting to see the light! Fingers crossed that it all goes well for her and the kids. And hopefully, when she finally sees how much better off they are without him than they were with him ... :byebye:
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well one can hope she sees the light about M but after all this time, I wouldnt hold my breath. I dont think I could go that long without
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm in the skeptic but hopeful boat with Janet. Shoot, even if she doesn't see the light I hope M sees the kids do better without him and disappears. (ya, right)