Small vent

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
At kt's staffing yesterday, the "pros" started a debate on who was more "damaged" due to the abuse in bio home.

I'm getting tired of those kinds of conversations. These are children who have been hurt; they are individuals & have responded to that abuse in their individual ways.

While kt may look like a rocket scientist next to wm right now, that could change in a minute.

I told the "pros" that this wasn't up for debate - at least while I'm in the room. It really doesn't matter. What matters is the treatment plans & interventions we are working to help the tweedles heal.

I feel better now - I hated that discussion. It's a non-issue in my mind. :warrior:


Going Green
OMG..........why on Earth would that matter? I could see discussing who needs the most intensive treatment plan at this point in time but since when has abuse become a contest? I have to hand it to you. I don't know how you deal with some of these "professionals" sometimes. Just goes to show that you can spend thousands of dollars on an education and still be an idiot.
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif :wildone:

Hugs to you for keeping your cool though. If it had been me? Not so much.

Sara PA

New Member
It's probably a question of who is stronger and who is weaker couched in the language of who is more abused. That information is important when trying to work out a treatment plan that involves both children and maybe unequal access to the parents.


New Member
gee it seems to me 'damage is damage' what does it matter like you said. just help them! gee twins get enough competition as it is with-o others bringing it up!

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Sure don't blame you for needing to vent on that one. Good grief! They're seperate individuals who were affected in similar ways on some things and different on others.

I could be paired off with someone who suffered nearly the same severe abuses I did as a kid. My paired person could've reacted by being promiscuous, abusing alcohol, drugs, being violent, ect. I've done none of those things. Doesn't make me any less damage. (believe me!) Nor does it make me stronger than that person.

Hmmmmm. Wonder if these "pros" ever did the experiment where you sit in a classroom and suddenly a person runs in and grabs something from one of the students, then runs out again. Then the instructor asks you to describe the person and what you saw, you write it down then compare to the other students.

Usually, no 2 students see exactly the same thing. Because they're individuals.


timer lady

Queen of Hearts
I hate debates of this sort. The reality is that we're doing all that is humanly possible for kt & for wm. Everything that is available as an intervention is in place for both my children.

While wm doesn't live here - he is still a big part of the family. While kt is coming home, she is no more important than wm. I shouldn't have to prove to any of the professionals how dedicated a parent I am to both of my children.

I'm forced to parent in different styles.

Sorry - off on another tangent. It's stressful enough to balance our way of life with-o debates. I get so frustrated. Let's look at the big picture folks.

Thanks for your comments & support.


Active Member
Linda - I have always so admired you for taking these children out of foster care and parenting them the best that you can. Please know that I think you are doing a dynamite job under very dire circumstances.


New Member

I wonder if any of the "pros" could walk a mile in your shoes?

Having been there done that with people that really DO NOT know, even though they think they do, their opinions are ignorant.

You said "kt's staffing". If it's for kt, why are they discussing wm? Don't they have seperate teams? Maybe I've missed a few posts :frown:

They will have to understand. I have a feeling you don't leave them too many other options :rofl:


timer lady

Queen of Hearts

The tweedles have different treatment teams except for case manager, CADI manager & psychiatrist.

However, kt is in the same facility wm was in twice. The staff there know wm probably better than they know kt. And while we have different teams, kt & wm both affect each other's treatment plan in a huge way.

The discussion was brought into play upon discussing the monthly supervised visits between kt & wm.

It was all very ugly.

I'm moving on now - I need to get fixated on something else tonight. :rofl: :warrior: :rofl: