I don't know If I should be venting


Well-Known Member
So, it's been a while. Son is still with his dad. Permanently. Have not gone to court yet, child support will send us there.

1) Because I couldn't physically drag a kicking screaming teen to appointments and school I'll never get him back. Been almost a year.

2) Son says hes doing little better but needed to see what he /all of us did and future hope's for all, I agree.

3) He says he wants to come home for a school year and back to his dads the next school year. I'm ok with that, but dad said no. Cuz he feel I'm no good cuz I couldn't get him to appointments and school. I see that. I agree. Son also takes blame, father takes none where he all of sudden wanted to play father. But last time I didnt want to call cops on him. But guess what? IF that happened again, you bet your behind they will be on speed dial. I'm not afraid of how he would feel. I hate I didnt call them before to drag him. Mentally dragging a person like that is harmful. But now , I see , Its just as bad , worse actually I didnt. I know how me being dragged was.

4) I know in my heart and what we have talked about it wont ever get to that. No matter who he is with. Is all perfect? No, of course not. But I want him back for this last year before he is with his dad the next and he will move on his own he says. Son says he does want to come home and try it this school year. Especially as I mentioned sons plans.

It's about my kids, about their happiness and health. But I miss him and dont like not being in his life. My ex in some ways helped him but the fear if the belt and fun of the alcohol is still issues there. Theres some other issues I wont mention. Hes on the defensive about his dad..excuses him for things.

Its a lose -lose situation. If I get upset or cry too much, I'm not of sound mind. His dad gets angry,its fine. I show no emotion as his dad basically wants and theres something wrong with me. Both my kids DO have a mental illness. My mom, her mom other family various mental issues. His dad and other family on his side violent, and other issues with no dr proof as they deny it. He blames me saying they are fine and it's my fault completely. I'm willing always have been for family therapy as dad says no. It's all my fault.

Had to vent I'm sorry. Some days are harder than others. It hurts.


Well-Known Member
Hi. I'm sorry. My nephew has found out that the cops don't get involved in child custody even if there is a plan. They wont take kids from one parent to the other. It all has to be done in court and if your son is a teen he will have a say. They are more lenient as kids get older. Don't spend all your money on court. Dad will be seen as equal to you. That's how it is now.

If your son lives in another state maybe you can move there and see of you can share custody. My nehews son is 15 and he had a say in court. My nephew had to pay through the nose for court, but he makes a lot of money so he could afford a lawyer. He has joint legal, physical and medical custody. He has tried for full custody because Mom is pretty awful but best he could do was keep 50/50.

I honestly am shocked at how family court handles custody. Even with a good lawyer....no way it's about the best interests of the kids. And if you go to court and your ex keeps custody, which is very possible, you will have to pay child support, not him. Be careful what you do.

Hugs and love.
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Well-Known Member
Hi Busy.

I'm fine with 50/50 custody. My sons idea is good but ex says no. Moving to another state isnt an option. I know a judge will still say he doesn't care what son says and it wont matter. I dont want the stress of court for my son anyway, no matter what.

My ex kept him that was only supose to be a short stay. Verbal agreement no court, I messed up. To late now. I also know cops dont get involved in custody, but the cops I mentioned were for not going to school/dr related issues.

As far as child support, I have no problem paying something , I'm responsible for him as well. I just want equal time with my child.


Well-Known Member
It's almost a year since I've seen him. They limit phone calls to once a month if I'm lucky. Thank you.

The Court System for any matter makes no sense. Criminals have more rights, kids have none, no solid care or concern to really listen th o people involved and really put an effort in to help the families. What help is there really for people?

Hopefully all works out for your nephew and his son.