Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by KateM, Dec 1, 2007.

  1. KateM

    KateM Member

    I have been thinking of you and your son.Have you found an appropriate placement for him?

    I went through this twice with my son, once at the end of a school year and once in November. It made me heartsick and so sad for my son.I must add, though, that each time we found a better school that met his needs. I am hoping this is the case for you.Please let us know;I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best!
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Kate, thanks so much for asking and for thinking of us. We have decided to place him in a short-term (average 45 to 60 days) therapeutic setting in Wisconsin that will review the diagnosis and treatment, provide intensive therapy and make educational placement recommendations to follow the program. We decided to go this route because it was highly recommended by the educational consultant we're using, there is only one therapeutic day school in our area and we were underwhelmed with it (although difficult child 1 may end up there after Wisconsin), and we weren't ready to make the commitment of a therapeutic boarding school before knowing more about difficult child 1's long-term needs.

    We're very nervous about telling difficult child 1 about our decision because he's a homebody and doesn't like change of any kind. husband is planning to take him out to dinner tomorrow night to talk to him about the program. His current psychiatrist has also added Klonopin to his medication mix to settle his anxiety down until we can get him out to Wisconsin. Our intake phone appointment is first thing Monday morning. We could be out in Wisconsin as early as a week from Monday. Yikes!

    Thanks again for asking. There is so much caring and support on this message board.
  3. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    It sounds like you may have found a good program for difficult child 1 to attend to gather updated assessments to help faciliate educational planning. I just read your prior post in which you stated that the private school asked you for updated testing...I assume he's allowed to attend while you gather this needed information...What happens when a private school tells you that your child can know longer attend? Are you then required to enroll him into public school??

    I'm sorry he's having such a hard time.... Good Luck on Monday !!
  4. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member


    I am so sorry to hear the news about your son. I hope the placement in Wisc. works out. You must be very worried and stressed out. Please know I will be thinking good thoughts for you all-- and I hope the process of getting your son there is not too traumatic for you and him.

    Update us when you can.

  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Smallworld, It sounds like this could be good for difficult child 1, will you get to visit? How do these work? Do they do a medication wash or watch him and adjust the medications accordingly? It is just so bizarre now watching K off of most of her medications, I think how can a Doctor know what a child is like when they are fully medicated? K's Doctor has never seen the real her! Yet...

    I really do hope the best for your whole family and will be thinking about you and difficult child 1.
  6. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    It sounds like you have a good plan. I hope they can find some answers. I'm sorry it has come to this.

    Please let us know how it goes.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member


    It does sound like a good plan-I'm sorry to that it has come to this but it is what is needed. Hugs. I'm curious as to where in Wisconsin this is-if it's near Madison maybe we could meet one day if it works out.
  8. KateM

    KateM Member

    I agree with the others - sounds like a good plan. That is good that you are working with an educational consultant.I like the idea of getting more evaluations before making the next school placement decision. I hope your son takes the news well and that this gives you some direction for the future.
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Wow smallworld, I did not know. I must have missed this post somewhere. Just wanted you to know I will be sending many positive thoughts and hugs your family's way - and please keep us updated on how things are going. I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but perhaps it can help him in the long run.
  10. helpmehelphim

    helpmehelphim New Member

    Smallworld, I am thinking of you and your son so much! I hope this gives your family good information to move forward. This is such a desperately hard process. Good luck and I will look for your posts. Gentle hugs to you! Bridget
  11. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Thanks for all your positive thoughts and good wishes.

    An update of sorts: husband told J about the program last night. Without even listening to much about what the program entails, J said, “I’m not going. I can’t handle being away from home.” He then was up until 2 am sobbing about what a loser he is and how bad his life is. We went ahead with the phone intake appointment this morning and told the staff there that J is very resistant to leaving home. They gave us several suggestions on what to say to him. He has to buy into the program somewhat because it’s voluntary and he needs to sign himself in. We also have phone calls in to J’s psychiatrist and our educational consultant, who we hope will give us further guidance on how to proceed.

    Jannie, we convinced J's private school to allow him to remain until we have settled on a new placement, but they are telling us that after he leaves, he will not be allowed back until he's less anxious and depressed and can engage in the work there (he's doing no homework and little classwork at this point). The Wisconsin program will provide academics while he's there so we don't have to enroll him anywhere until the program makes educational recommendations.

    Pepperidege, I am tired and stressed. We're stuck in limbo land right now and I just want something to happen. J needs to be somewhere because we're really not making any progress with him here at home.

    T, we are allowed to visit on the weekends and can talk on the telephone every night. Our current psychiatrist has told us that a medication wash is possible, but we will not know until we get J there and the staff can observe him.

    WW, about a week ago I posted a few sentences in the "Good Morning" thread. It was easy to miss.

    Thanks again, all. Your good wishes are very much appreciated.
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Ohhh.........J! I am so sure he is upset and scared! However, time has a way of settling the mind down, and I bet soon, he will feel better about the whole thing. Can he visit ahead of time? Would that make him feel less anxious?
    Sending big hugs!
  13. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Smallworld, so sorry to hear about this. I must have missed the update in the GM thread as well.

    You have a plan. I hope it works out. Parenting a difficult child is far to difficult. We have hard choices to make. But, it is all in the best interest for our kids, right?!

    HUGS and strength coming your way!