Smoking around kids

[mum2JK&TH]

I know this may be a sensitive topic but I am just trying to figure out if husband and I are going overboard. husband and I quit smoking when I was pregnant with easy child and since then have asked relatives (both my mum and his parents smoke) to not smoke in the house while we are there. difficult child has asthma and we are concerned about the health issues.

Anyways, difficult child has a friend a couple of doors down from us and yesterday he was invited over to their house. We know both parents smoke inside the house and quite heavily and really wasn't sure how to answer it. Neither one of us wanted him to go but at the same time, difficult child does not venture over to friends very often, so we didn't want to pass off an opportunity.

Surprisingly difficult child turned around and said "Mum, could my friend come over hear and play downstairs instead?" I was so proud of difficult child's wonderful problem-solving! So it worked out in the end, but husband and I know it won't be the last time.

What would you do? Would you let him go over even though it really is against what you want or would you hold your ground? This is the first time we've been in this situation.

 

[Just keep swimming]

I, personally, would have been thrilled if difficult child chose home instead of a smoke filled home. My easy child 2 has lung issues (he was a premie) and I would have strongly urged the playing at our house. I am not sure how I would handle it if our kids demanded to play at friend's house. I think I would just say no. It would have been nearly life threatening for my easy child 2 to hang out at a smoke filled home, so I think it would have been my "duty" as a parent to keep him from harm. Now, with Aly, I am not sure how I would handle it. She never gets invited anywhere, so I would be kinda stuck as how to answer that. She needs friends badly, but I would hope she would ask if the friend could come here instead.

Good topic. Hmmmm...gonna have to think about this one some more.

Hugs,
Vickie

 

[judi]

My husband and I are non-smokers, bought a new house to ensure that there was no smoke in the flooring, curtains, rugs, etc., because of my husband's allergies and son's severe asthma. I never allowed my kids to play inside where there were smokers for this reason.

 

[Fran]

<span style='font-size: 11pt'>It must be the sign of the times. I do not know anyone who smokes in their house or their car.(that we would come in contact too). The few wives who are closet smokers,do outside at night. LOL. So did I. I don't even know anyone who has an ash tray. How different is that from when I was a kid. I remember smoking on airplanes. LOL

Anyhow, depending on the degree of breathing difficulty, I would inquire and tell the parents that you would like your child to not be around cigarette smoke. Being that it is their house you would understand if the kids would play at your home. You can't keep kids unexposed forever but I know I would like to decrease the opportunities to be exposed to any negative influences.

It's a dilemma. </span>

 

[Hound dog]

Hmmmm. A tough one. I'm glad difficult child used his problem solving skills to help come up with a solution that made you feel comfortable and still allowed him to play with his friend.

I had a friend back when we lived in Dayton when the kids were small who's son had asthma pretty bad. He played with my kids all of the time, every day. (he had a little crush on easy child) Most of that play was limited to outside.

I know husband and I didn't refrain from smoking around the boy when he was over at our house. His Mom never made an issue of it. (although she had stopped smoking because of his asthma) Now the kids did do sleep overs over there because of the smoke. I didn't mind.

I'm going to be bluntly honest, though. I'd have told the Mom not to have her child come over if the smoking had been an issue. It's a bit overboard in my opinion to ask someone to refrain in their own home.

And I did have a major problem once when a neighbor had begged me to watch her daughter while she worked, then had the audacity to try to tell me I couldn't smoke around her. Excuse me? She had asked me, knowing full well husband and I were smokers. If she'd had a problem with it she should have asked someone who didn't smoke. And I told her so. I wound up watching the child for 2 yrs.

The weather is getting warmer. Perhaps when difficult child plays at this friends house the play can be restricted to outside? That way difficult child can enjoy visiting a friend's house without being exposed to the smoke.

 

[hearts and roses]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fran</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><span style='font-size: 11pt'>It must be the sign of the times. The few wives who are closet smokers,do outside at night. LOL. So did I. I remember smoking on airplanes.

Anyhow, depending on the degree of breathing difficulty, I would inquire and tell the parents that you would like your child to not be around cigarette smoke. Being that it is their house you would understand if the kids would play at your home. You can't keep kids unexposed forever but I know I would like to decrease the opportunities to be exposed to any negative influences. </span> </div></div>

I agree-

Up until around age 15, I'd say the parents have a huge say in where and when thier kids are exposed to cigarette smoke, but at that point, with independence, it's inevitable that the kids will be exposed to smoke occasionally.

My 17gfg smokes. When she was little her asthma was bad and her dad smoked. I didn't allow her to go to his house unless he agreed to smoke outside. He refused; said he would open a window. easy child reported that was not the case. difficult child also had cat/dog allergies and we wouldn't allow her to stay over friends' homes where there were animals.

You just do what you have to do to protect your kids, in my opinion. If people can't understand that, then poo-poo on them! I have never allowed people to smoke in my home once I had children. And that is in a small part the reason exh and I broke up - he was unwilling to make any considerations for the babies.

*Fran - the part about the closet smokers - hahaha, that was me!! Funny~

 

[DammitJanet]

Im with Lisa on this one.

If someone doesnt want their kids to be around smokers then they can make arrangements for the kids to play at their homes. I smoke and its my house. There are dang few places I can still smoke and this is one of them. I wont blow it in the kids face but I do smoke in the house.

I also think the proposed laws on saying a person cannot smoke if a child is in the car is bordering on communism. They cannot manage to stop the influx of drugs so lets go after the smokers!

 

[Hound dog]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I also think the proposed laws on saying a person cannot smoke if a child is in the car is bordering on communism. They cannot manage to stop the influx of drugs so lets go after the smokers! </div></div>

Amen! Janet.

 

[dreamer]

Daisylover, my easy child had a frie3nd whose mom wanted me to drive her dtr 5 hours away to a teen event...where the kids would stay 5 days, then wanted me to also pick up her dtr. My easy child was going as well, my easy child actually arranged a scholarship so her friend could go. OK so I said sure I could let the friend ride with us. BUT me and easy child wanted to leave the day before becuz we wanted to do some touristy stuff. Oh oops, friends mom did not want to do that cuz she needed her kid to babysit up until 5 hours before registration for event. OK we would do the touristy stuff when we picked the kids up- and come home one day late. Nope, not good enough- she needed her child 5 hours post release from event. Then I was flaring so I said we had to leave the day before anyway becuz I was unsure I could do the whole trip in one sitting--so the mom relented, and off we went. As we were leaeving the other mom said hey, please do not smoke in the car with my kid. Um wait a minute,. First off I am paying for all the gas, a meal on the road and a hotel. You have already altered OUR plans for how we wanted to do this trip. And worse, that kid smoked but her mom did not know it, and she wanted me to not smoke in my car when I am doing her this favor? AND she wanted us home EXACTLY 5 hours post release?

I DO understand some people do not want their kids around smoke, or themself. I also understand some people get very ill around smoke. BUT that was the last straw. She asked one too many things from me.

My son has friends who do not come play here becuz we smoke. They never asked us not to smoke when the kids are not here, they just tell their kids no, they cannot come here. So, occasionally I invite those friends to go places like chuckee cheese, my treat, where there is no smoking going on. My easy child has a couple friends who are deathly allergic to cats....LOL, their parents have asked us twice, hey can you keep our kids for the weekend so we can go to a retreat, but hey can you board your cats and vacume super good? Um, nope, cuz I doubt vacumming super good will help and nope my cats live HERE.

on the other hand I do not drink at all..........and I do not permit my kids to sleep over anywhere where people drink. (my own ptsd thing)
Then one time husband was in hospital in ICU and I wanted to go meet with his docs, VA hospital said kids could not come, I found someone who did not drink, who said she would watch my kids for the afternoon. When I got home my then 7 yr old son told me ALL about the GUN he and the little boy were playing with all afternoon!!!! YIKES! I called the mother to talk to her and she so calmly said well, yes there is a gun here, and yeah I think my 7 yr old was showing it to your son. I was taking a nap.... ACK!

Since then I have been a little skittish. Usually anyone who plays with my kids now does so here. If the other parents do not want their kids around my smoking, then they can play in my backyard. LOL, to my surprise we went to visit one of the homes where those kids are not allowed to play here becuz we smoke. Their carpet is soaked with animal urine. They have Rx bottles laying all over the place. ANother home the mom just got arrested for permitting 3 teens to drink and have boys sleep over with girls...........

The lady who wanted me to not smoke when I took her child to the 5 day event? that girl just gave birth to a crack addicted baby. AND her 5 yr old set the house on fire and burned down their upper floor. (sadly last week that mom was also diagnosis'ed with pancreatic cancer)

I guess my point is, if you want to be cautious, you also should check into more than just who is smoking around your kids.
ANd now that my 2 older kids are older? Nevermind my house is extremely tiny........(less than 1,000 sq feet) the majority of my older kids friends spend most of their time at my house. And I am the busiest taxi driver of anyone around. even tho I smoke. I take approx 4-5 kids to the HS every morning and pick up anywhere from 2-5 every afternoon. Every non school nite I have at least 1 kid sleeping over. - more often 2-3.
The kids often come to me first to cry and tell me oh I think I failed a test, my mom is gonna kill me, oh my boyfriend wants to "do it" and I do not know what to do..........I am not sure why they come to me, cuz I pick up the phone then and call their parents.

But, this is my home and I still smoke here. I have tried hypnosis, lazer, wellbutrin, now chantix, behav mod, gum, patches, inhalers, ........twice my antismoking methods have landed me in ER.
If you do not want your children by my smoke, I understand. SMoking is so bad, so ugly, it is really a bad thing........BUT.....then----------yes, keep your kid at your place. Just like I will keep my kid at my house if you drink. (or have guns)

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

Great topic!

wife smokes. I quit two years ago (quitting is easy, I always said: I did it many times! LOL). wife is very considerate of others. She never smokes around children, but goes in other room and turns on a fan and opens the window. After I quit I grew very sensitive to smoke. I can tell when co-workers return from smoke breaks and I can almost always tell if a car or house has been smoked in, but our house and car you absolutely cannot tell, and you can't smell it on wife's clothes or person.

difficult child while at home this past month was another matter. She smokes heavily and is very inconsiderate of others, not deliberately, just unthinkingly. The butts and the smell were really getting on my nerves by the time she got into the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) four days ago. We've been scrubbing and washing and have pretty well eradicated the smell.

I don't object to smoking regulations in public buildings but I do agree the anti-smoking nazis go too far with trying to outlaw it in your own home or car.

When I was growing up everybody smoked; like Fran I remember when it was allowed on airplanes. Actually I think it's only been 15 or 20 years since smoking was banned on airplanes in the US, but it sure seems like it's always been that way now. I sometimes wonder if the high prevalence of asthma these days is partly due to being "too successful" in shielding kids from allergens; IOW maybe very occasional, very low-level exposure could be actually beneficial by having a desensitizing effect? When I was little I was treated for allergies by desensitization injections. Don't know if they worked, but they did keep me out of the Merchant Marine Academy on health grounds. They reasoned that if my allergies were bad enough to warrant treatment then I must be too unhealthy. But in fact they weren't that bad, it was just my mom overreacting. My dad had a different desensitization treatment: he made me mow the yard. And I did get over my hay fever. But maybe I just outgrew it.

 

[mattsmom27]

I have smoked since I was a teenager. I have quit, it hasn't lasted. I hope one day it will take and last! But as of now, I'm a active smoker. Yes I smoke in my home. I do not like a house that reeks of smoking so try to keep it aired etc.
I babysit a 1 year old each day for just over an hour. I don't smoke in house in the a.m. at all, she comes at 10:30 and goes at 11:30. After that i smoke in my house.
I had family over last evening for birthday party for difficult child and my cousin. 4 adults smoke, 2 do not. The 2 don't smoke never harp on us for smoking (thank them!) and we always respect that they have a difficult time being around smoke. So yesterday all day, no smoking in house and windows open to air, vacuumed up with sprinkles and vacuumed sofas etc as we also have 2 cats shedding their winter coats and my aunt/cousin are badly allergic. I then put their litter box, food, water in difficult child's room and had the cats stay in there. But it was only for a few hours. I couldn't accomodate anyone overnight or an extended period of hours and hours with my furbabies stuck in one room.
I do accomodate to a degree for non smoking guests or those allergic to my furbabies. I think it is the right thing to do. That being said, I wouldn't have weekend house guests who wanted my animals farmed out, where I couldn't have my morning tea and smoke in my chair, it is my routine.
This may sound bad, but I find that I don't mind making accomodations for these types of situations but it has it's limits.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

Wow you really are very nice about accomodating. I'm allergic to cats but I never ask anyone to lock up their pets on my account. I just take an Actifed or Bendryl before visiting.

 

[timer lady]

husband & I both smoke (I'm real good at quitting - I've done it many times). We both smoke outside the house, even in below zero weather.

Neither of us smoke in the "family" van.

It's become second nature to step outside to smoke - started it when we bought our first house & saw the smoke stains on the apartment we left behind.

 

[hearts and roses]

I smoke occasionally, socially I guess you'd call it. I was never a big smoker, in fact, years ago I would forget to buy cigarettes and then go days without one and I never really cared one way or the other.

I didn't smoke for YEARS and YEARS (like 16+). Until difficult child was abducted and sexually assaulted 2 years ago. The very first thing I did after leaving the police station was turn into the local minimart and buy my old brand. I smoke about 15 cigaretts over the next couple of days. It took all of the last 2 years for me to move through the trauma and grief of that incident. I never smoked more than a 1/2 pack to a pack a WEEK, sometimes two weeks, and I never felt addicted and I never smoked before 5-6PM - lol.

Then, suddenly, I began craving them earlier and one morning, before work, I snuck one in the garage. I knew then that I was in danger of being hooked and I immediately stopped. That was about 3 months ago. I am an asthmatic and shouldn't really be smoking in the first place. However, I totally understand the pull, the cravings, and the calm it seems to bring. That pull, the first drag - it can feel heavenly. I still enjoy smoking - I wish I could, I wish it wasn't so unhealthy, I wish I didn't have asthma, but thank God I do because if I didn't, I'd probably smoke regularly.

I don't have anything against smokers and I would never tell someone they couldn't smoke in their own car/house, but I don't allow it in my home. I have been known to sneak one in my car though! And then I have to spray air freshener so H doesn't know...lol. Like he cares anyway!! Just my [additional] 2 cents.

 

[dreamer]

my mom, my mother in law, my father in law, my best friend all died of lung cancer. I attended to the care in their final months as primary caregiver for all of them. My husband has emphysema and lung cancer, as well. As a hospice nurse I have also had several patients with lung cancer.
Growing up I did not know anyone who did not smoke. Our pediatrician even smoked, even while seeing patients. We could smoke in grocery store, in Kresges (sp), in hospital, just about anywhere. I have never gotten colds or flu, my children never had a cold, never had flu and never had a single ear infection. My 4 siblings are the same, no colds, flu or ear infections. (matetr of fact my kids have not needed any antibiotics until my son had his eye surgery and it was given for prevention)

I have no problem refraining from smoking if I invite you over for a short visit. I have no problem coming to visit at your house and not smoking. I have no problem being in your car and not smoking. I certainly have no problem not smoking if you are paying me to do something for you.
I cannot smoke at the RMH when I take my son to the eye surgeon. I have no issue with that rule. I understand entirely.
BUT.....so often I have had parents send their kids to my house to come play and then the kids tell me they cannot go home becuz guess what? they came to play so I could "unofficially" babysit and noone is home at their house and the door is locked, so now they cannot go home.
If the kids whose parents do not want them to be around smoking would discuss more with me than the fact they do not want their kids by my smoke, I might feel differently. - BUT this is MY house, I pay the bills here, I worked unusual hours so what is daytime to you is nitetime for me-
Nope, if the kids do not want their kids around my smoke, I understand BUT.........&lt;shrug&gt; their kids can play elsewhere.
I refuse to feel guilty or like a criminal, I simply accept it as ok, we just have different things going. Personally, perfume triggers migraines in me, even faint perfume. I suppose people who can smell my cig smoke clinging to my clothes feel similar around me. So at the first hint of perfume smell, I go elsewhere- away from the source. I do not complain at the people with the urine soaked carpets that smell, I just simply do not go there. I do not walk up to strangers and tell them how their perfume makes me ill. I get quite angry when I am IN a smoking area and people walk up to me and comment. I do not walk into tanning salons and remind the people that sunbathing is bad and gosh my other friend died of melanoma. I do not walk into bars or restaurants full of people drinking and tell them my HS best friend was run over and killed by a drunk driver, or my gramma and grampa and 2 aunts died of cirhosis of liver........or that becuz my uncle was drunk he shot and killed my aunt, or my dad got drunk and shot out the windows of a building full of people.
I am not breaking a law by my smoking, I observe the laws and honor them. So far it is still legal for me to smoke here. I no longer go out to eat.....so I should not be bothering anyone all that much. and I absolutely detest when our school sends the kids home telling the kids to throw away their parents cigs.
Last nite my easy child was at the ER due to a fall at work. On her discharge papers and instructions were smoking cessation information. I was livid. Smoking had NOTHING to do with her visit there...........They did not even ask her if she smokes. Me and husband smoke, her boyfriend smokes, my oldest dtr smokes (she is now 18) but easy child does NOT smoke. Ah but, hospital assumed she did. And they did not ASK her if she does, they assumed she would lie and assumed she would say no.
My rheumetologist refused to keep me as a patient and refused to treat my RA and Lupus if I did not stop smoking.

I do not have any idea what the correct answers are. I know some areas that have banned smoking are now facing shortages of funds that they had collected due to the taxes involved in cig sales. If we outlaw smoking entirely altogether here, I do not know what the tobacco farmers and the people who work in cig factories will do for work or how they will make up for all the taxes they no longer collect. I do not know what they will do with all the people suddenyly in nicotene withdrawl?
I do know some people can become seriously ill with nicotene withdrawl. I also know some studies have shown for some mentally ill people smoking DOES carry some benefits. Just as with medications- the benefits and drawbacks need to be balanced against each other.........For all the smokers I know that died of lung cancer, I can count at least 100 times as many smokers who did not die of cancer at all.

Yes, I will obey the law. I try to be courteous. I try to be reasonable. I try hard to be "correctly green" in other parts of my life, such as walking when I can instead of using the car, and recycling and reusing things, etc. BUT I refuse to feel guilty for not refraining from smoking for my kids friends to filter in and out of my house all day every day etc.
I do not ask my neighbors to alter their TV viewing or videogaming habits when my kid wants to play there, either, tho. (I am NOT a TV or videogame person AT ALL, - I have never ever played a single videogame.and I seldom watch TV except for ER)
If what someone is doing in their home bothers me, I keep my kids away from those houses. And if people do not want their kids here becuz I smoke, well, thats OK, too. I DO understand. I do not get upset.

 

[mom_in_training]

I too would restrict my kiddos from going to someone elses house if I was uncomfortable with the family for whatever reason. I am a smoker too and do refrain from smoking where I should not be smoking. Although many places do have designated areas for smoking, I will just go further away from the area to smoke or just wait until later. (Dreamer)I have never had someone come up to me and preach about my smoking even if I were in a smoking area. I can't say how I would even respond to someone like that. That is pretty rude though. I started babysitting my nephew when he was about a month old (Now 4 years old) and because of it stopped smoking in my house as well as the car. My sis asked if I could refrain from smoking around the lil guy. Yea I thought the same as most, My home my mortgage but you know what I am glad I did because I am now living with bright white walls and my house does not smell like smoke and I smoke less and I like that idea. To this day even with no children present I do not smoke in the car. Its just become habit for me. And when I visit people I will not smoke in their home even if they do and I do not really like the idea of my son having to sit there in his wheel-chair taking in all the smoke either. I don't know too many people that do smoke in their homes anymore and I guess its a good thing, I'll still just go outside or just wait. I went to Alabama a while back and being the Californian that I am already upholding all of the smoking laws was shocked to see people smoking in restaurants and behind the counters in 7-11, Lol!! Really it was weird to me because I had already been accustomed to Ca laws. Today even if offered up the smoking section verses the non smoking (In another state) I think I would pick the non smoking because I am not used to eating in a smoke filled restaurant anymore and I am a smoker. Lol!! I want to quit and I guess I will when ready but in the meantime I suppose I'll just conform to any new laws that are imposed upon us and don't mind. Maybe I'm weird but I don't even smoke when my dog or horse is near, Lol!! Gee do you all suppose I'll be a nonsmoker soon? It seems as if i'm limiting myself and I guess its a good thing because I do smoke less that way.

 

[tiredmommy]

Christine-
I don't let Duckie be around smoke. Period. She does not have asthma. We've been told we absolutely must do everything to keep her from developing asthma (due to allergies). It's non-negotiable. I don't feel I'm inconveniencing anyone when safe-guarding my child's health. That being said, I often host other children so that I'm not too demanding of others. I also explain it's a health concern, not a judgement or preference.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

I'm a smoker. I don't smoke in my home - EVER!! I hate the smell. I occasionally smoke in the car but only when the kids, or their friends are not with me. I personally don't believe it is right to smoke with other folks kids in my car. The kids and I travel on road trips all the time and I can go a while without and then just stop and have a cig if I need/want one.

I, like Linda and her husband, am an outside smoker (even in the snow, rain and cold). I have a back porch with a couple little rodiron chairs and two little tables where I sit (or stand if it's cold enough for my fanny to stick to the metal!). In the spring, summer and fall, it's out to the patio.

Sharon

 

[dreamer]

Mom in training, I so often have people - strangers- walk up to me, mind you I do not have y0ung kids......I am not sitting blowing smoke into a high chair.......I do not have wee ones in a stroller......I do not go smoke in front of entrances and exits to buildings......but, I have had total strangers - many many times- walk right up to me and yes, say some pretty nasty things. They have at times been quite brutal. One person commented while I was standing in a parking lot beside my car....oddly enough, I have handicapped plates on my car but, I am doing better more often and my husband was not with in the car so I was parked quite far away in parking lot, no cars around me, and some lady came all the way up to me to tell me how disgusting she thought I was being for smoking. and then she looked at my car and the handicapped plates and got more angry and rude and said you of all people, with your handicapped plates.........I then watched her wheel her shopping cart full of groceries, beer and wine, back to her own Hummer....and climb in........her Hummer was parked in handicapped parking, and I did not see any handicapped plates or placard. Nice lady.
I was at military base, one day, having bought the months cigs for me and husband, standing in checkout. a man in uniform came up next to me, looked at my cigs purchase and said you know those are so bad for you? I looked at HIS purchase- 6 fifth size bottles of Absolut, and 4 cases of beer.

I smoke inside my house, so does husband. He cannot walk, he flies into rages, he flashes back to Nam,. I seldom do things that would provoke him. I cannot imagine telling my 60 yr old husband hey dude, go smoke somewhere else. I spent time where I could not use my legs at all, a couple years. I could not have gone outside if I had wanted to. Even in winter, my bedroom windows are open, I like it cold, I prefer it below 50 degrees, and I have 2 fans in my room. Thats where I generally smoke. My bedroom is mine alone. Fat lot of difference it makes, the lady next door, her drive butts up to my window......she does in home day care and from 5 am till 9 am there is a steady stream of cars running just outside my bedroom window, the whole 4 hours. and again from 3 pm till 7 pm. From 10-1030 every nite her adult son plays basketball - they installed the hoop so if he misses the basket it hits my bedroom window----and at 1030 every nite, he warms his car (I do not know why) and blasts his radio, and his exhaust floods my bedroom. At 2 am every nite, the dad runs his 18 wheeler outside my bedroom window. I suppose theuir car and truck exhaust is every bit as bad as my cigs.
They built the water treatment plant for this end of town across the street from me a couple years ago. Now it smells like ......um.kinda like a swer, kinda like a litter box minus the litter.
On short trips around town I usually don't smoke in my car and subject any of the kids to me actively smoking. On the long stressful trips to docs, I do smoke some in the car. With my hand and cig out the window and I turn my face towards the window.

IF I invite you to my house, and you do not smoke, I do not smoke at you or around you or while you are here. If I come to your house, I do not smoke anywhere on your property.

But my experiences with my kids friends parents does not at all make me inclined to make what for me would be a major accomodation like that. Once a week I take my son and a friend or 2 of his somewhere, chuckee cheese, lazer tag- whatever- where I do not smoke, noone smokes, I treat........for the maybe one or 2 days a month when he plays at someone elses house who does not permit their kid to come to our house becuz we smoke. That is how I reciprocate the play time. I cannot make my house not smell like anyone ever smoked here, and while I bathe twice a day, I am sure I smell like cigs........

There are all kinds of reasons children may not be able to go to someone elses house.......most of the time with a little creativity you can figure out a fair way to handle it that honors health issues or any other issues for all concerned.
My kid goes to those houses and plays maybe 1-2 times a month, and once week I take my son and a friend or 2 somewhere exciting and semi exotic to reciprocate. and their kids do not get exposed to our cig smoke. It seems to work out OK.

 

[DammitJanet]

Well if any of you smokers want to come visit just let me know, I have a SMOKING house! It will never be non smoking. I dont smoke at other peoples houses because I dont go to anyone elses houses...lol.