So disappointed, back to using a walker-

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by hearts and roses, Feb 1, 2012.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    My back went out. Of all times, and likely due to my wacko gait, my back goes out. Wtf? I'm finally feeling good, like I can actually do some things for my self, looking forward to the main goals of my PT, ready for it. And then this.

    And as if that's not a giant pita all by itself, when I tell H he will need to bring me to the chiro this morning, what does hero? Yell at me for messing up his schedule. He had an estimate scheduled, which I understand is a pain to reschedule, but hello? I can't walk, dress, sit,stand or lie down without pain. I asked easy child to stop at the store after work yesterday and she gave me koi about it. Forget it.

    So I lost complete grip and pretty much lambasted H and threw easy child into my rant for good measure. Then, afterwards, I sat in my room and sobbed uncontrollably for about 45 minutes. At one point, easy child came in and asked, 'Are you crying in pain or something else?' I didn't respond and she left. What IS that? No words of comfort, no hug, no nothing, no empathy.

    I realize I was having a bit of a pity party but it still hurt that my daughter could be so unfeeling towards my pain and discomfort. H was snoring on the couch. And I also realize that my high emotions could be in part due to the oxycodone and my period being due any moment. That could also explain my back going out. If it wasn't for the Prozac, I think I would have killed myself by now.

    If you could, please send up a positive thought or two that my back feels better and I get back on track with my PT. Thank you, you've all been very supportive and I appreciate it.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} Sending calm & healing thoughts your way.
  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Oh my Jo...
    First (((((((((((hearts and roses))))))))))

    Last week, I drove the whole way to court hearing for young difficult child going to prison. husband works hard is tired...Well SO THE HECK AM I! And I'm in an emotionally fragile family did not seem to care so much...I am to be strong and a comfort to others.
    Nevermind that I had no medicine for a couple of days and my sanity is a fragile thing.
    I honestly don't think they can handle Superwoman having any "down" time.
    What is up with that?

    You've got my care and definitely my hopes that you will get some relief from ALL of the sources of pain you are dealing with...body and less than comforting people.

  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Aw, Jo, I am so sorry. husband needed to keep that schedule frustration to himself and just help you out. NOT a mature way to handle it.
    I hope you make it to the chiro today. Keep icing!
    I don't blame you for venting and crying. Pain makes everything worse.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending very, very gentle hugs of support your way. I agree with LMS that our families are so used to us managing everything that when we're unavailable they fall apart. Somehow it makes more sense to think that it would be reciprocal. Sigh.

    Have you considered reaching out to a non-family helper? With the economy I'm sure you are trying to spend as little as possible BUT a friend, neighbor or temp would help you regain your sense of independence and avoid famly emotions. Family is what it is and some of the time what "it is" can't be typed on the Board. Hugs DDD
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Sending more gentle hugs to you... I am so sorry. My back, if it goes out, only does when I get my period too. And it is still legitimate sadness if it is in part hormonal! They really did add fuel to the fire and you deserve compassion not criticism. I would be happy to run to the store for you... wish I was there.

    Hope the chiro helps. Sorry for your pain. HUGS, Dee
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Oh, Jo. I'm so sorry {{{{{HUGS}}}}}.

    That is THE WORST thing about an injury, it throws the rest of your body out of alignment making it that much easier to hurt something else.

    And I think the others are right -- your family is used to your being Superwoman, and they panic and get frustrated when you're the one who needs help for a change. Maybe you need to blow your stack more often, so that they start to get it.

    Sending healing thoughts, and saying prayers that your back feels better soon and that your knee continues to heal well.
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: - very, very gentle ones.
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Thanks ladies. I realize that they didnt mind helping that first week or two but now it's becoming a real inconvenience for them. Considering all I've done for them, on a consistent basis, forever, and sacrificed for them as well, you'd think a month of consistently helping me out wouldn't be such a damned chore.

    H apologized for being a jerk last night. easy child left in her usual huffy way this morning. difficult child was annoyed that I assumed since its Wednesday she would be cleaning today (she's done it every Wednesday for three weeks so I assumed...). And what really kills me is that I PAY her to clean my house.

    Have I mentioned that one of my disability policies has been denied? Yah good times, so now I'm fighting that. And H is crying the poor mans blues so despite having limited cash I'm still paying for groceries and such.

    Just so sick of it all.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jo - so sorry to hear you are having a set back. Ignore those selfish people around you! Take some 'me' time and let them figure out groceries, cleaning and all.

  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Jo...I get it. Truly I do. I have no idea why men in particular, but even our grown children can act like selfish idiots when we are hurting or sick. Yeah they sometimes do okay for a day or two but then its like, get over it already.

    Im sorry your back is hurting so badly. I have a question though, when you say you are on oxycodone, is it the extended release or the immediate release? Both can have effects on your emotions but since they switched me to the extended release, I am not liking it so much. It is actually keeping me from sleeping!
  13. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending gentle hugs, Jo. Hope your back feels better soon.
  14. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I sure hope your back gets better asap. I am sorry Jo that you are not getting the care that you need and deserve. I do wish we were closer. Hang in there and hopefully you can toss that walker out the door soon.
  15. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I hope you're feeling much better soon!
  16. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Janet I'm taking the immediate release oxy 5 mg to 10 mg. I like it, it's much more effective than vicodin, which makes really crazy and depressed without relieving much pain.
  17. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending Hugs! You will be in our prayers. Rabbit
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im glad you like it. I have immediate release 10 mg vicodin for breakthrough pain and I like that much better. I am on 30 mgs of extended release oxycontin right now and I am not completely sure I like it. I have only been on it about 11 days now so I am going to give it time. I have to remember I need to give it time. I still think I liked the morphine better but then the doctor said I wasnt getting hardly any of the medicine into my body so maybe that has something to do with it.
  19. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    So sorry... Wish I lived closer so I could help. Sending lots of hugs your way... SFR
  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, how awful. {{hugs}}