Thank you for your kind responses.
A little about my self -should I change the thread title to intro now?
I am 37
Married five years
difficult child -17 young man
easy child -3 girl
Step -13 girl
Prior to marraige, I raised my son alone -his father -a career criminal was never involved mainly due to being in jail -he would get out for a bit, then commit a new offense and be sent back in -every time the offenses escalated -he is not serving life for murder. I admittedly never encouraged contact or the relationship a whole lot.
When my son hit 10 -11 -12 -he started dabbling in weed -and robitussin -he stole an ATV and was charged - I nabbed him right away and sent him to a boarding school in another state for 9 months to get him help and I thought "Nip it in the bud" mmmm no...
HE came home- and things got worse... he stole again -computers at a party -charged -misdemeanor... youthful offense...
Next he was arrested, in school, for posession of cocaine -a lot of it -a LOT of it -posession with intent to sell. 3 Felonies.
All reduced to misdemeanors -and was deferred to a "treatment court" with sentencing suspended until completion of a 2 year program which includes... group, private, drug testing, accountability weekly to a judge etc... I left him in jail a few nights before I got him out...
Since then, I just have no trust. He has lost two jobs -being accused of stealing money -he is passing his drug tests -which I know... you can beat tests all day long...
I'm tired.
I'm fearful.
I'm hopeless.
I love him and he is a bright kid -smart -very good looking athletic young man -football player -body builder etc... and very nice and fun and respectful to be around...
no diagnosis other than substance abuse and depression/anxiety -with components of aspergers but indefinite.
I have no clue.
I hired an interventionalist -we worked with- him for a bit -ran out of funds. (WAY EXPENSIVE)
WE did family therapy, individual for him -you name it. Pediatrician doesnt see anything that presents - sees a happy well spoken sweet youngman...
Meanwhile back at the ranch -he is good to me -and around the house -but he is constantly scheming criminal stunts -
I'm rambling now.
I just dont know what else I can do -as you know there's always so many dynamics and no right answer.
THanks for listening. Thanks so much.