So Here's the Scoop on difficult child and the Spice Packet...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AppleCori, Oct 19, 2013.

  1. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Dad called difficult child mom to let her know what happened and to see if she would come over so they could confront difficult child together, but she was busy, had dinner plans that dad and I showed him what we found and gave him the ultimatum--get help or get out. Of course he claimed the packet was some old one he found in his possession and 'panicked' and hid it under the mattress (yeah, right). He finally came clean and at least admitted he had used some of it.

    He started crying and said the drugs were really just a coping mechanism for the fact that he hates himself, his life, etc. Said he needed mental health help. He has depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, etc.

    He has an appointment. at the mental health center on Monday. I felt at the time that he was very sincere and insightful. I think, though, that his enthusiasm for getting to the root of his problems is waning, so not sure how its going to turn out.

    He did get a full time job, though, one the very last day of his 3-week time frame to get one.

    He has quickly eroded all the good will he had gotten after our talk, though.

    He is the laziest person I have ever known! He slept without sheets, blankets, or comforter last night because he put them in the washer (dad made him clean his room, bathroom, and do laundry) and didn't bother to put them in the dryer. He used the mattress cover for a blanket!

    I am not sure how much I can take! He is driving me nuts.
  2. 92025

    92025 Member

    eccchh! that bare mattress thing would drive me nuts! sounds like you're approaching it pretty well by insisting on a job and counseling.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Look, make sure you seek out support, in any way it helps you, for YOU. Go to a twelve step meeting or NAMI or a private therapist, but take care of yourself. You should not have to have your own life in turmoil because of you dysfunctional adult child. Please, please remember that you deserve to be peaceful and happy in spite of your kid's bad choices and unwillingness to get help. When he wants it, you will know. It will be obvious. It won't be "I use drugs because..." it will be "Drugs aren't making me better and I can't stand myself anymore."

    Personally, besides rolling my eyes, I'd forget things like how he chooses to sleep. Least of his problems. You have to decide, however, if it is in your best interests to have him at home. If you want him to stay there, you should probably learn coping skills to detach from his drama, even while he is right there. You have many other blessings in your life...loved ones who treat you well and appreciate you and don't stress you out. I would focus on yourself first, then them. I'd make difficult child the last priority and only be there for him if he shows a sincere interest in changing by his behavior (as my mom used to say, actions speak louder than words)!!
  4. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I am so pleased to hear that difficult child has an appnmt at a Mental Health center on Monday. I hope they are able to diagnosis him correctly and give him appropriate medication and also counceling.

    I too know how hard it is to live with a lazy difficult child.
    We can't do this for them though...they have to want sobriety and a better life.

    Sounds like you are doing all you can.
    And as MWM suggested, the outside support meetings can really help too.