This will strike a nerve, I know. Missouri had a law that children had to be in safety seats til the age of 4. Then in January, they changed it to 8. No one was grandfathered in. difficult child 2 turned 4 early last year, so spent 10 months "legally" out of his seat. His seat had been a point of contention with him prior to that, and I'll admit, I used it sparingly. The reason being that he could get himself out of any seat we tried, and many times once he was escalated to that point, he went for the door handle while we're traveling 60 miles an hour down the road. After much discussion and thought, we pick and chose when its required. I know, its wrong. But its safer than trying to deal with an angry difficult child who wants out of the car at any cost. Anyway, I got pulled over tonight because my license plate is crooked from hitting the dog (not loose, not falling off, just crooked). I was picking difficult child 2 up from the sitter and he was not in his seat. The officer asked why, and stupid me, I told him. And he told me that perhaps we should see a child psychologist. I came unglued. Thankfully I held my tongue, other than producing the 3" binder full of evaluations and asking him who the he!! else he suggest I see. Then I just bawled. We've been given square pegs, and we're demanded to squish them into round holes 3 sizes smaller at every level - school, work, daycare, out in public, society on the whole. Just wish someone would tell me how. Thanks for letting me vent.