I just got a call from the psychiatric hospital saying that difficult child is being released to his CMO worker and is being taken back to the PCR program he was attending. This is the program he ran away from TWICE....within a two week period. I'm sitting here literally shaking because I know that difficult child won't stay there. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow. But it's only a matter of time before he runs again. I literally can't take the stress anymore. I never know when something is going to happen. When he was in the psychiatric hospital last week it was such a nice feeling because I KNEW he couldn't leave there whenever he felt like it. Now instantly I'm back to the same neurotic freak that I've become in the last 6 months due to difficult child's never ending behavior. My heart is pounding. I know that he's going to keep doing this (running, going to the hospital, etc) because he told me he is. He told me he will continue to do this until I bring him home. Now I get to sit here on guard tonight waiting for a call that may or may not come. I get to toss and turn again all night wondering if difficult child is still there or if he's run. I just want this to end already! I need this to end now....before I lose my sanity!!!